hasselhoffburger

Of course he can’t. He doesn’t even know when or where he’ll partake in his next floor pie. One team is doing everything it can to help him decide which side to support. Who wouldn’t want to join illustrious company like the Gallagher Brothers, Dirk Benedict or Timothy Dalton as Manchester City fans?

The reigning Premier League champions had Hasselhoff as their guest for their 3-0 victory against Stoke. How did City and their Qatari overlords welcome the Hoff? They gave him a jersey with his name spelled wrong on the back.

hasselhoffwrongshirt

The former Michael Knight was too big of a man to make a stink about it while he greeted the team who appeared thrilled to meet the man behind Knight Rider and Baywatch Nights. He gave out love and autographs to Kolarov, Aguero and other City players as he got a behind the scenes tour of Eithad Stadium.

The former Baywatch star and Britain’s Got Talent judge said: “There is nothing better than to go and watch City win on your day off.

“I’m into the spirit. I know how the city is separated between City and United.

“I’m torn between the two clubs. I want to wish everyone a ‘Hoffy’ New Year.”

Hasselhoff is what happens when a Kardashian daughter combines with Snooki and The Situation to form a man like the Constructicons. A Devastator of stupidity.

Quand David Hasselhoff rencontre les joueurs de… by evidenceprod

Adam Richman got a similar tour from Spurs during his visit to White Hart Lane but there was no player interaction. Guess they were worried about what might happen to the food.

H/T to 101 Great Goals for the jersey picture.

The 3.5 long-time readers of the Deuce or people who are familiar with me know that I’ve followed Chelsea for years. Believe you me when I tell you I’m pissed at the way transfers have worked out since last summer. Chelsea owner “Uncle” Roman Abramovich better start splashing the cash on proper players and stop trying to half ass it this month. Then again maybe I and other Chelsea fans should cut him some slack. Transfers haven’t been his thing lately. Here come three recent examples. Wrote a post about it. Like to read it? Here it go.

1. Chelsea, through Abramovich’s wallet, have had pretty good luck getting Africans into the UK. Didier Drogba and Michael Essien among others. Recently it seems like he’s getting cocky after slipping John Obi Mikel and Salomon Kalou’s useless ass into the country. Now he’s just trying to import Africans en masse. Too bad he didn’t count on the British High Commission.

Our favorite oligarch attempted to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 1998. He failed miserably due to altitude issues. The lesson was never try.** He was helped down by local porters who were hired to help him climb the mountain. He promised to fly them to London for a Chelsea match as a way to show his gratitude. Unfortunately the British government didn’t trust that they would return to Tanzania after the match. They ended up getting an all-expense paid trip to Moscow for a match instead. It probably came with a skinhead and police beatdown.

Good on Roman for offering to fly them to London but we’re sure he just wanted them around to carry him from Stamford Bridge to his home(s) or wherever else he needs to go. Everyone can see the toll it’s taking on Drogba, Essien, Mikel and Kalou. They need to focus on getting Chelsea back into the top 4 and they can’t do that when they’re on call 24/7. For the love of Gbagbo*, Drogba has malaria!

2. Abramovich is also making bad transfer decisions outside his business life as well. He threw a New Year’s Eve party at his $90 million St. Bart’s estate. One would hope that a man of his means would have discriminating taste like that rich Russian guy on the DirecTV commercials with the mini-giraffe. He doesn’t (beyond his soccer team and girlfriend).

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Galatasaray vs. Fenerbahce always means war. The rivalry between the two Turkish powerhouses is one of the most fierce and brutal in Europe. It ranks up there with Rangers/Celtic and Paritzan Belgrade/Red Star Belgrade among others.

Don’t think fellow fans are the only ones subjected to abuse. Anyone in an opposing shirt is fair game. Here’s video of Galatasaray fans attacking players from Fenerbahce’s under-17 team.

Several players were injured including one who ended up with a broken nose. Stay classy, Gala. The under-10s better watch out. They’re next.

I should probably give the Polish some credit. They went straight ultra at an under-12 match. That’s gangsta.

H/T to 101 Great Goals.