Bet you didn’t think you would see anything more homoerotic than the Top Gun beach volleyball scene or the race between Rocky and Apollo in Rocky III outside of porn. Tina Turner and Australia have something to say about that. Check out this 1989 Australian rugby league promo. Talk about hitting all markets in one money shot.

Who knew Freddie Mercury played rugby? No fat-bottomed girls for him today. He likes his men like he likes his paper towels. Burly with a mustache.

Aussie Rules could have gone down the same path and gotten Elton John or Cher to do their ads. Hell no. AC/DC all the way.

The NFL and major networks could learn something from the Australians. Give the people what they want and stop trying to force feed us crap like the Sunday Night Football theme by Faith Hill.

No way we’re posting the real thing. Do they really think viewership will go up with Hill doing the intro? I’ll say it now. I’ll take John Tesh over that milquetoast bullshit every time. I’d give NBC a little more leeway if they had Joan Jett sing it but she’s a lesbian and they can’t have that. We also can’t show players getting blown up because people’s feelings will get hurt and no one will think of the children. Douche rock doesn’t count, ESPN. That’s no better. You want to get me hype for a game? Give us players getting lit up and making ridiculous catches to X Gon Give It To Ya by DMX or Assassin by Muse.

The Notorious B.I.G. rapped about “beating muthafuckas like Ike beat Tina” in Machine Gun Funk (NSFW language). If you’ve seen the freestyle video from when he was 17, you know he wasn’t joking. He and Tina Turner wanted to know what love had to do with it. Unfortunately for English women, love’s got nothing to do with England World Cup losses.

I remember hearing that domestic violence skyrockets in Wisconsin when the Packers lose a game. Apparently the same happens in England. There were 353 reports of domestic violence in the Manchester area alone after England was knocked out of the World Cup in a 4-1 defeat to Germany.

Fears that the World Cup would be accompanied by a surge in domestic violence appear to have been realised, with one police force recording the greatest number of incidents since 1 January on the day England were knocked out of the tournament.

A spokesman for the force said the figure was the second highest recorded so far this year — and 15.7% higher than the same day last year.

Too bad the English team didn’t have that same surge in them.

Seriously, people need to check themselves. It’s only a game. It’s no surprise that domestic violence goes up especially in soccer and football. I’ve lost count of the fights I’ve had to break up between supporters of different teams over wins and losses as well as other stupid nonsensical, drunken arguments.

Seemingly rational people lose it when it comes to their favorite teams. I’ve been accused of doing the same but never in a violent manner. The fact that police and other entities have to campaign against domestic violence during sporting events is pathetic. Your wife or girlfriend didn’t play defense like a 3-legged geriatric elephant or disappear for the whole tournament like Wayne Rooney.

Here’s the Biggie freestyle referenced above. We warn you. This is a verbal beatdown and should be a crime.

Oh sweet baby. That kid probably ran home crying to his mother.