Rafael Nadal lost in straight sets to some guy I’ve never heard of at the Australian Open earlier today. He supposedly injured himself early in the match. All lies. He hurt himself laughing at this clown’s streaking fail last night.

I’ve done this twice (clothed). Both times face first into a screen door. I was delivering beer one of those times but didn’t spill a drop even though I fell down. Who’s a winner? This guy.

Joking around that you are a stalker has to be done very very delicately as there is a razor thin line between being funny and being creepy.  Even more so with a celebrity, especially one that actually has been stalked. Unfortunately for New Zealand “journalist/humorist” James McOnie, he seems to have jumped his way over to the creepy side of the line this weekend with tennis superstar Maria Sharapova.

McOnie ran into Sharapova this weekend and she recognized him from a prior event when this dialogue took place:

In Melbourne on Saturday, he asked if she frequented a club for “hot Russians” with compatriot Anna Kournikova, the Australian Associated Press reported.

Sharapova recognized him on that occasion and said: “You’re the guy from New Zealand, huh? Oh, God, you’re stalking me!”

“It’s not stalking if you love someone,” McOnie replied jokingly, to which Sharapova offered: “It can be slightly, trust me.”

Ewww.  Yeah, awkward.  Not funny.  Kinda creepy.  Probably should’ve just stopped at the initial not funny “hot Russian club” joke.  He only made things far worse by continuing to talk.  Sadly, even after all that, the guy couldn’t help but to make himself look even creepier.

So we fast forward a couple days. Clearly the only way for him to either make things right or keep the unfunny celebrity stalker joke going is to show up with a sign that reads “I AM NOT A STALKER”.  Awesome move guy!  Certainly this is super funny and, after all that has already happened, she will finally get the joke!!  Am I right?  AM I RIGHT??

Nope, not right.  Sharapova said this upon seeing the sign

“I don’t know why you’re here today. That shouldn’t have happened.”

Its a fine line man, a fine line.

No one ever accused Brett Favre of being intelligent. As a matter of fact, that thought has probably never crossed anyone’s mind. I don’t know where Andre Agassi rates among athletes when it comes to smarts but he’s no Vince Young. If he’s gonna have naked on his phone, he’s not gonna give that away for free. Start at :38.

If Brett had any kind of sense, he would have taken pictures of Deana and offered those to the highest bidder. Then again he’d probably sell them for a pair of Wranglers and some Skoal. Mark Chmura wouldn’t be interested as she’s way above prom age. Bam!

H/T to Bruce Arthur

Watch this clown get jumped by an old man after an apparent argument over the use of profanity.

That showing only deserves half a fist pump. Stay classy, New York.

Rafael Nadal won the French Open yesterday. He did it wearing normal shorts instead of those manpris he usually sports. What’s the deal with capris anyway? Can’t decide whether you want to wear pants or shorts? Half ass it.

While Nadal was winning the Open, his competition was busy in the karaoke booth busting out terrible renditions of songs that suck when done by the original artists. Check out this year’s crop of “winners”.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Andy Murray and Robin Söderling

1. Andy Murray should stick to rap.
2. Nadal beat Söderling for the title like a rented mule. The Swede deserved it after that performance in the booth.

Novak Djokovic decided to go after Nadal in a different way and well…um, see for yourself.

Novak Djokovic & Troicki

I’ll never watch a Shakira video the same way again. Nadal starred in the video for Gypsy. Think it’s fair to say Djokovic lost in more ways than one in Paris.