Five innings of work, two hits, no runs, no walks, and four strikeouts. Not bad for a guy who hasn’t pitched in the big leagues in over a year. Rumors of his minor league dominance were legitimate as he managed to hit 99 mph and embarrass more than a few Dodgers with biting curves and 90 mph change-ups.

Steve didn’t quite resemble the guy who dominated on June 8, 2010, but for one night, he was good enough. The long road back to that night is still many months away; the Nats stated he’ll be limited to a workload similar to that of Jordan Zimmerman, who underwent “Tommy John” surgery in 2009. That would mean we’ll have approximately 25 starts and 160 innings to witness Steve’s magic in 2012. For a Nats team that is aching for some relevancy in the midst of another challenging season, they’ll take it.

You may have noticed that I like to point out some of the discrepancies between the real world and the professional sports world. Yeah, there aren’t too many jobs where you can just decide to stop showing up in an effort to get paid more, or be welcomed back with open arms after a drunken night out that ends in a sexual assault charge. However, they are human beings just like you and I, and they go through some of the same disappointment and grief we do. Just on a much larger basis. Think about that while you peruse these headlines:

• Days after his divorce, Tiger Woods shot a six-under 65 at The Barclays.

Coincidence?  I think not.  Anyone think Tiger had a few things on his mind the last few weeks?  I think most people can relate: the feeling you get when you a know a doomed relationship is ending is a weird one: sure you’re sad, but you know that a toxic relationship has reached it’s end and that’s a relief. Besides, sadness ain’t nothin’ a little Ambien and a few hookers won’t fix!

• University of Colorado head football coach Dan Hawkins has reportedly asked for an extension.

And when the Board of Regents stopped laughing, they asked Hawkins where he scored his weed, because in order to suggest something like that, he must be stoned.  Dude, you have a record of 16-33.  You make Rick Neuheisel look like Joe Paterno!  Try winning the Champs Sports Bowl and we’ll talk…

• NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has the support of NFL owners to extend the regular season to 18 games.

Oh look, it’s the big kid bullying the little kid once again.  Hey NFL players, you tired of being worked yet?  I don’t know if DeMaurice Smith will try to make his bones with this next labor agreement, but if has any cojones, he will punish the NFL for years of manipulating the players.  No guaranteed contracts, shortest average career length, life-threatening work conditions and they want to make the season longer while increasing the players’ revenue share?  What, are we still in the Gilded Age?  Aside from rendering most modern individual and team records useless, this is a ridiculous request.  NFL owners, pay attention to major league baseball.  They collectively bitch-slapped the players for about 75 years then the players got pissed.  Now you have guys wearing pajama pants, long hair and playing at 50% while making $20 million a year.  Which brings me to my next headline…

• The Chicago White Sox are reportedly intererested in claiming LA Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez.

Oh hi, Manny!  We were just talking about you.

• Discover Financial Services said Thursday it will be the new sponsor of the Orange Bowl from 2011 to 2014.

Anyone see the connection here?  The Orange Bowl is played in Miami.  The Discover Card is only available to people over the age of 80.  Florida is littered with old people.  Brilliant stroke of marketing genius here, Discover Financial Services.  Hey fellas, want to find out the quickest way to end a date?  Head to a bar with a lady friend, order a round of cocktails and then when it comes time to pay, flash the Discover Card.  ”But they give cash back!”  Yeah, but try telling that to your date, player.

• As rumors abound that Steve’s season was over, new phenom Bryce Harper took batting practice with the team.

After listening to highlights of Bryce’s presser, I think it’s pretty clear there is a high probability that Bryce Harper has an ego that makes Pete Rose look humble.  And since Steve’s gonna probably flame out (Tommy John? Ouch) I think the Nats should hedge their bets and create a new reality show to insure against poor performance. They could call it “K Street” and it would chronicle Steve’s repeated elbow surgeries and rehab outings. Special guest appearance by Rob Dibble, whom Steve will punch in the face when he tries to give him advice. Meanwhile, watch Bryce as he tries to pickup college chicks in Adams Morgan while wearing gobs of eye black and extra-small Hollister polo shirts. It’s gonna be hawt!

Ok, that’s it for me.  Everyone have a great weekend.  As I sit here waiting for the next wave of “Steve is Prior” posts, I’ll be getting my hair cut like Bryce.

I went to the Nationals game on Tuesday night in an effort to catch one of Steve’s outings.  You all know how that worked out: Steve’s shoulder got tight, Miguel Batista subbed in right before the first pitch, and the fans booed mercilessly.  Nonetheless, the game went on as planned and Batista pitched five shutout innings, propelling the Nats to a 3-0 win over the first-place Braves.  Despite the fact that most of the crowd stuck around for the entire game, Tracee Hamilton of the Washington Post thinks real fans don’t boo.  I whole-heartedly disagree, both with her premise and the idea of a reporter scolding me.  Here we go:

Forty thousand people turned up at Nationals Park on Tuesday night expecting Jim Riggleman to shout “Release the Kraken” as Stephen Strasburg strode to the mound for his 10th start.

Wow, quoting a crappy movie meme that was moderately annoying months ago.  Great lede.  You’re off to a stellar start.

That’s 40,000 people, but not necessarily 40,000 fans. Fans don’t boo the hometown team because of a pitching change. Fans don’t boo the long reliever who had a 10-minute warning that he was going to start. Fans don’t get up and walk out because one player is out of the lineup, even if that player is Stephen Strasburg.

Did you consider maybe the fans were booing because they were pissed off at the situation?  Do you think half of the 40,000 people there even knew who Miguel Batista was?  They didn’t care: they were upset because they probably paid a fair amount of money to see Steve and now at the last second, they found out he’s not pitching.  Instead, they’ve paid $40 for a bleacher seat to see a guy who had a career record of 95-110 going into that night’s game.  Also, were you at the game?  The stadium was packed up until the last out.

Hopefully much of the booing was expressing disappointment rather than disagreement with GM Mike Rizzo’s decision. Rizzo did exactly the right thing.

Tracee, sorry to force your detour off the Pretentiousness Turnpike, but anyone who has read even one story about Steve’s odyssey to the big leagues realizes this was the right decision.  No one was upset with Rizzo.  They were upset that they left work early, sat on a crowded train and dropped $40 on a ticket just for the privilege to watch Nyjer Morgan flail around centerfield.  Come on.

But a ticket to a baseball game is a ticket to a baseball game, period. It’s not a money-back guarantee to see one particular player. If you buy a ticket to a Lady Gaga concert and Lady Gaga doesn’t take the stage, then you ask for a refund. But in this case, we’re talking about a team sport.

Here’s another real-life situation sports fans can relate to: baseball games and Lady Gaga concerts!  Are you serious?  Let’s say I get hit in the head one day and decide it’d be a great idea to buy a ticket to a Lady Gaga concert.  Even with said head injury, I don’t think I’d ask for a refund if she didn’t show up.  I’d consider it a wake-up call to reexamine my life choices.

In truth, everything about a baseball game is subject to change. Players can be injured or traded or sent down, even minutes before the first pitch. “Bull Durham,” about another hard-throwing pitching phenom, includes many pearls of wisdom, such as: “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. Think about that for a while.”

Another tired clichéd sports movie reference shoehorned amidst useless generalities that couldn’t be more obvious… And this is just the first one I quoted… What’s your point?

Pleasing a large crowd that includes both fans and Strasburg looky-loos is a challenge for the Nats. Baseball fans won’t boo Rizzo’s caution, but part of Strasburg’s raison d’être is to attract non-baseball fans, not only to sell more tickets but also to try to convert them into a more permanent kind of fan, the kind who will buy tickets without the allure of Strasburg on the mound. It’s hard to make converts, however, when they walk out in the first inning.

Hambone, were you actually at the game?  I was and I saw zero people leave the game in the first inning.  In fact, the majority of the crowd stayed until the last out, cheering as Matt Capps struck out the last batter.  Furthermore, why can’t Nats fans be picky?  The team has been beyond crappy the entire time it’s been in DC.  It’s an organization that’s been run on a shoestring budget by guys like Jim Bowden.  The team has been an embarrassment playing in a gorgeous stadium funded by taxpayer dollars.  You know what?  If people want to leave in the first inning, good for them.  They’ve earned it.  What have the Nationals done to garner any type of loyalty?  Drafting two really good players?  The riches of Steve and Bryce were rewards for ineptitude.

In “Bull Durham,” Crash Davis tells Nuke LaLoosh, “When you were a baby, the gods reached down and turned your right arm into a thunderbolt.”

He could have been talking to Strasburg. But the thunderbolt doesn’t come with a lifetime guarantee.

And if the gods won’t protect it, the Nats will.

Nailed it again, Master of the Obvious.