Greg Anderson really likes Barry Bonds

Baseball great Barry Bonds is an asshole. Nobody denies that. But he has also hit more home runs then any player in MLB history. From 1999-2004 a Barry Bonds at-bat was the greatest thing to witness in sports. It sucks that so many ball players took the juice to shoot up their stats and make tons of money but if everybody else is ignoring the speed limit on the highway then what are you supposed to do?

If you agree with anything I just wrote, then you might be Greg Anderson. He just went back to prison. For the fourth time. Fourteen months in total. Seriously. This guy has been to prison more then Tony Yayo (best I could do).

Stick me fast and let’s go do some BP, ESPN:

Anderson repeated his long-standing refusal to testify against his childhood friend, was held in civil contempt by Illston, taken into custody by U.S. Marshals and escorted out a back door. This will be his fourth time in prison, his third for refusing to testify against Bonds, and he will likely be held until the end of the trial. The case is expected to last about a month.

Anderson also served three months in prison and three months in home confinement for money laundering and steroids distribution from the original BALCO case. Anderson’s plea in that instance happened in 2005. Bonds’ trial is the last to stem from the BALCO investigation.

Somebody is getting a christmas syringe card from the Bonds household this holiday season.

Reading Between the Headlines

You may not have noticed, but the Summer of 2010 was pretty good to the Deuce.  Flush with blogger money and ready to reward myself for a summer of besmirching the legend of Tony Reali, I finally decided to ante up for the Red Zone Package, which at $6.99 month was a bit pricey (remember, we’re talking blogger dollars here, ok?) but hey, when Sports Illustrated links to your article about being old, I think it’s time to celebrate, right?  Well, that and I split it with a roommate.  So really, it’s like $4 a month (hey, this ain’t Deadspin). Read the rest of this entry

Reading Between the Headlines

Lebron James ended his season last night as valiantly as possible.  With an elbow that looked positively damaged, he managed to keep the Cavs alive for most of the game, even if it looked like the rest of his teammates were busy planning their next tattoos.  After the game, Lebron said all the right (albeit boring) things — officially kicking off what has the potential to be the most annoying 45 days of sports coverage of all time: ”Oh, where will Lebron sign!?!?!?!?”  Expect a month and a half of Farvian-coverage that will be more psychologically damaging than a Michael Irvin and Emmitt Smith production of “Hamlet.”  Until then, on to some headlines: 
Pretty sure at this point it’s safe to say the NHL regular season means nothing.  Regardless of who wins the Flyers-Bruins series, none of the top five seeds in the Eastern Conference will be in the Stanley Cup Finals.  With the Red Wings knocked out in the West, my only question is if there’s a Nielsen TV Rating that measures less than zero.
Trey Hillman had an impossible job: take a team of crappy players and make them play well.  Can’t believe he failed.  Sure, there were plenty of signs that Hillman was in over his head – his use of Joakim Soria was puzzling to say the least but firing Hillman is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound.  You see Kansas City, firing a manager or coach in any sport is kind of useless unless the organization is strong from the top.  For instance: when your GM tries to make Kyle Farnsworth a starting pitcher or gives Jose Guillen $36 million, you’re past the point of bad managing, you’re screwed.  First lesson: start stealing signs.  Hell, Charlie Manuel could teach you.
 

Cushing is the third NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year to be suspended for performance-enhancing substances in the last eight seasons, following Julius Peppers and Shawne Merriman.  The equivalent to this in baseball would be if Evan Longoria, Ryan Howard and Hanley Ramirez all tested positive for PEDs. If that had come to pass Congress would be involved, columnists would have their heart medication doubled and we would all be forced to think of the children under penalty of law.

 
I don’t think I could say it any better, so I won’t.  Is this the worst NFL offseason ever?  I think so.  And while Cushing is clear to point out he did not have a positive test for steroids, I’ll let this picture do the talking:
 
Yeah, that’s all natural, baby. 
Curt Schilling, why won’t you go away?  You were last relevant six years ago.  Please take Jason Varitek and go play World of Warcraft somewhere.   
Instead of putting videos of fanboys on your website slobbering all over D-Wade’s Jordans, there’s a better solution here.  Dwayne Wade is going through a divorce.  So, how about you go down to Cocount Grove, round up 30 of the most beautiful women in the area and put them on the website instead?  This doesn’t seem that difficult.  Here are a few other teams that have decided to start campaigns to appeal to their players:

 

I called Ken Sanders, the real estate consultant overseeing the sale, and he says, yes, Kevin Costner is part of the deal.  This includes but is not limited to: signing autographs, “having a catch,” harvesting corn and replaying scenes from “Tin Cup.”
That’s it for this week.  Everybody have a good weekend, I’ll be watching these idiots.

On a gorgeous Monday afternoon in St. Louis, the Houston Astros strode into Busch Stadium to take on the Cardinals in their home opener. Amidst a record crowd, Adam Wainwright sat down the Astros in a tidy 2 hours and 24 minutes. Albert Pujols homered (again) and Ryan Ludwick had four hits. Of course, against the hapless Astros, this is hardly a surprise. Nevertheless, the biggest story of the day took place before the game during introductions, when a crowd approaching 50,000 fans gave a standing ovation to former Cardinal great and current hitting coach Mark McGwire.

Writers theorized about how McGwire finally earned forgiveness for his past PED trangressions — a forgiveness undoubtedly made easier on the conscience of so many Cardinal fans who are aware of the team’s prolific 2010 offense (five runs per game). I couldn’t agree less.

I see the “message” as not being meant for McGwire at all, but rather a statement to the whining pontificators bemoaning an entire era in baseball history. The fans realize that the same blowhards that have been condemning McGwire since St. Patty’s Day 2005 were also the ones using column space to write love letters to him and Sammy Sosa in 1998 — and they are sick of it.  Fans have grieved over players like McGwire, but they’ve moved on.   For those members of the media and ex-players who are still calling for erased record books, it is time to do the same (as a side note, broadcaster and former deadbeat Jack Clark, who called McGwire a “phony,” was summarily booed by the home crowd).

Mark McGwire's record-breaking 1998 season was the epitome of late 1990's-early 2000's culture. By 2005, those days were long gone and McGwire was in exile.

Since Ken Caminiti came clean in 2002, baseball hasn’t been the same. Defense, fielding and walks are in. Homeruns are out. There aren’t a lot of guys walking around that look like McGwire, Sosa or Barry Bonds. Which all and all, is probably a good thing. You can argue that it’s more exciting to see a guy like Nick Johnson grind his way to a .400 on-base percentage rather than a 50 HR season from Brady Anderson, but either way, you’re not looking at the same product anymore. The economics of this game, hell, of this country, dictated a new type of dynamic that has broken down the long-standing beliefs that were accepted as undeniable baseball insider fact. The old tale that a veteran’s grit is worth more than an equally-talented 20 year-old earning the league minimum is an extinct ideology. The war against Sabermetrics is over, and as much as Joe Morgan hates to admit it, the old guard lost. The fact that Zach Greinke and Tim Lincecum won a combined 31 games last year and still captured their respective league’s Cy Young awards proves that the revolution is here. Think I’m wrong? Check out the last night’s box score.

So while baseball may not be better than it was in 1998 or 2001, it’s not worse. And the game has survived. Revenues are up and so is attendance. Blame Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds all you want, but nothing they ingested during their careers is going to knock the luster off of the emergence of new superstars like Evan Longoria or Justin Upton. It’s time for the writers to move on. For those who love the sport, it’s time to put the dream-like period of baseball history that has become known as the “Steroid Era” into perspective: what an incredible (yet tainted) era of baseball. There is no reason we should turn our backs on it, or the icons who made box-score watching fun again.

Speaking of box-scores: the last time St. Louis had a shutout during a home opener was 1998 when they beat the Dodgers 6-0. Guess who led the way? McGwire, who hit a grand slam.