“Like to thank the fans who booed me off the pitch. Where’s that going to get you! I hope you all die.”

Guess who tweeted that. If you guessed Chris Brown, you’re wrong. No homophobic references or threats to beat up women. Ronnie Turiaf or Matt Barnes? Nope. Obviously not referring to a Twitter prostitute who they want to shut up because she’s bragging about sucking them off. However you’re getting close. It is an athlete. Oh wait, the picture and post title probably gave it away.

Marvin Morgan just joined the pantheon of athletes who screwed themselves by going overboard on Twitter. He was booed off the pitch after being substituted in a match against Hereford on Monday. He responded on Twitter with the message above and his team, League Two’s Aldershot dropped the bomb on him.

Morgan was suspended, fined two weeks’ salary and put on the transfer list. The club’s statement reads as follows:

“The player accepted that his conduct was totally misguided and inappropriate and he accepts that his actions were incorrect and ill disciplined.

“Accepting that his actions had been foolish he explained that they had been made in the heat of the moment and apologised for the distress he had caused.

“The football club are satisfied that the player meant no malice with his comments. However they were completely irresponsible and contrary to the values of Aldershot Town Football Club. The player has also undermined the good work that he and his colleagues have done servicing the local community.

“The club is also of the opinion that careful consideration is required for all future use of social networking sites by players and staff as a means of communication.

“The hearing decided to fine the player the maximum two weeks’ penalty during which time he will be absent from the club. He has also been placed on the transfer list.”

Several teams are already interested in the Twitter Killer. Sky Sports is reporting that League One Dagenham and Redbridge appear to be the team who will take him on loan for the rest of the season. By the way, their nickname is The Daggers. How convenient is that? Now Morgan doesn’t have to wish death on Aldershot fans. He can make it happen like Mariah Carey. He’ll get to work on that when he gets the ceremonial dagger that I assume is presented to all new Daggers players. It’s stabbin’ time!

Part of me wants to believe the father did this on purpose to see if he could do it.

The spread eagle cartoon fall is the icing on the cake. That makes it all worth it. The Deuce gives the kid a 10. Definite mime material.

Who’s got next? It’s one thing when Willie Mays goes flying into the wall to make a catch. It’s another when Paul Scholes wildly slides into the ivy and breaks his leg trying to make a tackle (or take someone’s knee out depending how you look at it).

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that talks are underway for Manchester United to play a match at Wrigley Field this summer during their American tour. United’s shirt sponsor AON is based in Chicago (getting ‘Nam-like flashbacks to working in that building).

One soccer source told us “the game is currently on the 1-yard line with 99 yards to go. But it is a definite possibility.”

Wrong kind of football, source.

Northwestern and Illinois were forced to play one way due to the ivy walls being too close to the end zone. The technology doesn’t exist to spin the field like in NCAA 2011. It probably does but the Pentagon isn’t going to give it up.

It would be interesting to see if they can pull it off but the college football experiment this fall wasn’t that great. Fans were too far away from the field of play. The proximity of the outfield wall changed the complexion of the game. Maybe it was different for people at the game but viewing it on TV became old fast. Then again sitting on a rooftop watching a Cubs game across the street is something every baseball fan should experience at least once in their life. Watching soccer with kegs … Oh sweet Old Style.

If United plays someone other than the Fire, the game should be at Soldier Field. However if they’re playing the Fire, meh. They could play in Lincoln Park.

Paris Hilton is not the mother of Ronaldo’s baby and it hasn’t contracted herpes despite him coming into contact with her nether regions … as far as we know. That’s good. Unfortunately the mother of his child, who he paid off for full custody, wants to reestablish contact with the kid. That’s bad…for him.

If you thought Ronaldo was a massive jackass before today, it’s time you find an adjective that describes a state bigger than massive. British tabloid The Mirror “reports” that the mother of his child wants to meet the baby she gave away for £10million.

Until now the lothario football star has kept secret the name, age and even nationality of the mother after she gave up her rights to the child in exchange for a £10million payment.

However, the Sunday Mirror can reveal she is a woman aged 20 who now bitterly regrets her decision and phones ex-Manchester United ace Ronaldo regularly in tears begging for a chance to meet her baby.

And the mother – who became ­pregnant after a one-night stand with Ronaldo – claims she is even prepared to give his millions back, insisting she has changed her mind about the deal.

Ronaldo’s not having it. It’s finders keepers as far as he’s concerned. However don’t think that he’s doing this because he doesn’t trust her or he loves the kid too much. Here comes the douche.

But despite doting on his son, he has flatly refused to change a single nappy, saying: “I will leave my mum and sister to raise him for the first few years.”

“Cristiano is the ultimate mummy’s boy, so he was never going to be getting up in the night to feed his son. But somehow the child’s mother has managed to get in touch with him and is hounding him to see the baby.

Instead of ignorning her calls or referring her to his legal representation, he answers her calls so he can mock her.

When she asks to see her son, Ronaldo is said to taunt her by telling her he may consider her requests… if she repays some of the money.

A source close to the woman said: “She’s often calling him late at night. She cried down the phone to him and pleads with him. He shouldn’t even be in contact with her, but they have got into a twisted sort of routine.

“She even calls him after matches to congratulate him on how he played, hoping that one day she can appeal to his better nature, but he simply leads her on and teases her about Cristiano Jr.

There’s a reason why he’s one of the most hated players in the world. His Real Madrid teammates hate him already besides Pepe.

I suppose the mother should take some blame for selling her baby no matter the price but this story is just further confirmation of what most people already think of Ronaldo. £10million is one hell of a transfer fee for a kid you didn’t even pay for. Most Football League teams would kill for anything close to that. However, knowing Ronaldo will be the father is a burden one has to carry for life. Giving birth to the Douche’s spawn has to weigh on her. Now the world will be subjected to the human version of Scrappy Doo. They both must be destroyed. The power of Christiano compels you.

Galatasaray vs. Fenerbahce always means war. The rivalry between the two Turkish powerhouses is one of the most fierce and brutal in Europe. It ranks up there with Rangers/Celtic and Paritzan Belgrade/Red Star Belgrade among others.

Don’t think fellow fans are the only ones subjected to abuse. Anyone in an opposing shirt is fair game. Here’s video of Galatasaray fans attacking players from Fenerbahce’s under-17 team.

Several players were injured including one who ended up with a broken nose. Stay classy, Gala. The under-10s better watch out. They’re next.

I should probably give the Polish some credit. They went straight ultra at an under-12 match. That’s gangsta.

H/T to 101 Great Goals.