Think the CFL was intimidated by the NFL’s choice of the Black Eyed Peas to play the Super Bowl? You cold busted cause you wrong. Canada spares no expense when it comes to Grey Cup entertainment. Pre-game entertainment by “rap-rock” group Down With Webster. I don’t know what Emanuel Lewis did to them but whatever. We all gotta have enemies. At some point I will enter the Thunderdome with Guy Fieri and I will emerge alone. Hopefully they start some cross-border rivalry with Linkin Park and take each other out 2Pac/Biggie style.

The big guns were saved for halftime when Bachman Turner Overdrive slayed Edmonton. I haven’t seen video of the halftime show but if they rocked as hard as they did during the pre-game rehearsal, you know it was liver than a Snow** and Soul Decision show hosted by Rick Moranis. Just ask this janitor.

Let’s see the Black Eyed Peas top that hotness.

Down with Webster just made my enemies list. Forget Mexico. Listen to this abortion of a track and tell me you’re not ready to invade Canada and make sure nothing like this crosses the border.

**Bet you thought we were gonna hit you with some Informer. Well we know ladies be readin’ this here Deuce too so we figured we would slow things down to show our sensitive side. Girl, we hurt. We have feelings too. So on and so forth.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are quite cross with the organizers of the Vancouver Olympic closing ceremonies for depicting them in an unflattering light. Dudley Do-Right and Canadian Bacon were bad enough but now someone has gone too far.

Anyone who watched the ceremonies will remember the absurdity that ensued with flying beavers and lumberjacks in addition to a number by Michael Bublé who was accompanied by off-brand fly girls wearing sexy RCMP gear. Their costumes were not regulation and the RCMP brass was not happy.

“A number of RCMP employees have expressed concerns about the depiction of the RCMP during the closing ceremonies … specifically, the ‘Mountie costumes’ worn by the female dancers and entertainers,” assistant Commissioner Bud Mercer said in the memo sent to all RCMP members across the country.

“The RCMP core value of respect includes the respectful representation of female members,” Mercer’s memo said. “The RCMP does not condone any behaviour … that could possibly be perceived as demeaning.

Won’t someone please think of the children?! Now the RCMP knows how the Nazis felt after Mel Brooks’ depiction of them in Springtime for Hitler. The outrage! They should march on Vancouver while shaking their fists with impotent rage. That’s what Canadians (except Bob Probert and Tie Domi) do when they’re furious, right?

One would think the RCMP would be more pissed about being associated with Bublé especially when Snow was available and ready to licky licky boom boom down for the RCMP and America Jr.

Update: We were going to end with the previous paragraph but then we found something. You probably thought Snow only had one song. Much Music must have kept this gem under wraps. Canada could have sent the world packing with this:

Imagine if Snow joined forces with Color Me Badd. The possibilities…Wait, hold up. This isn’t right. We’re sorry and won’t blame you if you don’t come back. You didn’t deserve that. No one does.