Who knew former 49ers coach Mike Singletary was down with Teddy Pendergrass? Teddy was smooth but rough. He left you know what you up right away and wasn’t scared to let the ladies know in no uncertain terms. He was all about, as Eddie Murphy noted, “[scaring] the bitches into liking him”. Unfortunately that doesn’t work in football as Singletary found out.
Singletary was fired from his position as 49ers coach after a tenure of ineptitude. His players seemed relieved and looser during their last game under interim coach Jim Tomsula. That wasn’t an illusion as the Sacramento Bee’s Matt Barrows found out:
Vernon Davis had perhaps the most poignant quote when describing what went wrong early in the season. “Guys were … guys were just a little … scared, I should say. They were scared. They were more worried about coach Singletary getting on them instead of playing football. But you have to understand him (Singletary). If you don’t understand the guy, then you’re not going to be able to relate to him. And I think that’s what the problem was with most guys. They were scared, worried about dropping passes and missing tackles and stuff instead of just going out and being themselves. But he left, and guys started being a little easy.”
There’s really no where else to go but scared when your coach reams you out and drops his pants during halftime of his first game in charge. If he’s willing to do that from the jump, what’s he gonna do when things get really bad? The 49ers quickly learned to never turn their backs to Mike Singletary especially when their pants were down.
How many of you laughed when you heard that Dana Stubblefield took steroids during his NFL career? It was probably funnier to Redskins fans who were forced to watch him take suck to epic levels like every other big-money Synder signing. Could you blame him for lying about taking steroids? Who would have believed it? Next thing, Gilbert Brown would have claimed he was bulimic.
Stubblefield can’t quit failing and getting in trouble for it. He was sentenced to 90 days in jail for stealing his ex-girlfriend’s mail. Did we mention he’s already on probation after being nailed for lying to federal investigators during the BALCO scandal?
Stubblefield didn’t just roll up to her mailbox and take her mail as one would think. He filled out a change of address form so her mail would get delivered to him. Smooth. Her mail included unemployment checks but he was probably after those Valu-Pak direct mailers. He was hoping to get those “Buy One, Get Three Free” coupons from Domino’s. Expect Bruce Allen to sign him after his release. Someone needs to take Albert Haynesworth’s place.
UPDATE: Did you know that Stubblefield played a prisoner in the Ben Affleck tour de shart Reindeer Games? H/T to Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly for digging this up.
Stubblefield, fittingly, played a prisoner in the 2000 stinker Reindeer Games alongside Ben Affleck. During the making of that film, the former NFL great inadvertently knocked Affleck unconscious, hospitalizing him.
That’s why he got probation and 90 days as opposed to 20 years.