A college friend who will remain nameless had a habit of flashing people at every possible opportunity. You’d be walking down the hall minding your business when he would jump out, seemingly from nowhere, with his dick hanging out. The worst was going to the bathroom. He would sucker you into a conversation, wait until you turned towards the shower then throw up the shower curtain and yell “Check out my unit!” It’s one thing as a college prank. It’s another when Visanthe Shiancoe flashes almost 65,000 football fans during a game.

The NFL took time away from banning running backs from being running backs to require all NFL teams to install video cameras in their locker rooms for the upcoming season. Footage will only be shown on in-stadium scoreboards. Kommissar Roger Goodell claims that the cameras will “enhance the fan experience”.

How much access is too much during NFL games? Most can agree that nothing is gained from the halftime interview. “We need to stop the run and get back to our game.” Thanks. “We need to put some points on the board.” Really? Coaches just want to get into the locker room to make adjustments, check injuries and get ready for the 2nd half. They’re not going to give anything away or say something controversial.

Sideline reporting has become a distraction more than anything else. What’s the point beyond reporting on injuries or altercations on the sidelines? The rest is just filler. The problem isn’t a lack of journalistic ability (unless your name is Tony Siragusa). It’s an issue of how the reporters are used and how little useful information they provide over the course of the game.

Locker room cameras won’t do much to enhance the fan experience. Coaches aren’t going to open up and lay out their game plan. They won’t let loose and motivate players as they normally would behind closed doors. Players won’t be themselves either at least after the first couple get fined for speaking their minds.

Locker room intrusions will affect how teams conduct business in the locker room. I usually favor openness but it’s unclear how this will benefit the fans.

The NFL would focus on cheaper ticket prices and more television access for fans if they were actually interested in enhancing the experience. Do more like making All-22 coverage available as the league did last season. Sunday Ticket should be accessible on cable and online. Showing replays on stadium scoreboards is a good start. It should be up to the individual teams to make the live experience better for the ticket buying public. Some would be great and others like Dan Snyder would suck the very souls out of people.

“Welcome to sunny Los Angeles and the opening round of the NFL Scouting Combine! I’m your host Jason Sehorn and tonight we’re going to find out which players will be joining us at the scouting combine finals in dreary Indianapolis for a chance to get drafted in the 6th round and latch on to the Jaguars practice squad!”

This scenario could become reality if the NFL has its way. The New York Post reports that the NFL is considering changes to the annual combine that would turn it into a sporting version of American Idol. The 10 regional combines would be turned into a competition in which players would fight for the chance to appear at the main combine in Indianapolis.

According to the NFL Network, that system could soon resemble “Idol” by having those lesser prospects duke it out at the regional combines for an invitation to join the marquee talent in Indianapolis or even a spot at the NFL Draft at Radio City Music Hall.

There is also talk among league executives of taking Deion Sanders’ advice and having players compete head-to-head in certain combine events — perhaps turning the 40-yard dash into an actual race — in order to ratchet up the tension for TV purposes.

Of course the competition idea is the brainchild of Deion Sanders. If the NFL is going to do this, it might as well go all out. It’s not as though other shows such as The Voice and America’s Got Talent haven’t bitten the Idol format. Cheap imitation without attribution is the way of the television executive.

Let’s flesh out the format of the yet to be named show. First it needs a host. The closest the NFL can get to a Ryan Seacrest type host is probably Jason Sehorn or Jesse Palmer. Wait. Jeff Reed. They might experiment with a co-host who would get bounced after the first season à la Brian Dunkleman. Call it the Sean Salisbury reclamation project. Once the show has been established and Reed gets his legs, Salisbury can be removed from the picture. If he raises a stink, Roger Goodell would have no problem going full Peter Russo to silence him forever and claim his untimely passing was for the good of the league. You will go quietly into the night. His baby will not be turned into another dick pic scandal.

Next we need judges. Obviously Deion Sanders makes the cut. He’d be the one constantly comparing every contestant to himself and talking about how he would have done it better even though he wouldn’t make a tackle if his pre-nup depended on it in college or the NFL.

The panel of judges should be rounded out by Joe Theismann and Joey Porter. They give us the other essential elements of any reality show judiciary. Theismann plays the self-righteous, self-proclaimed “wise” man who judges players solely on whether he can set his watch to their haircut as opposed to their actual on-field talent. Porter plays the role of the loud buffoon/Paula Abdul who has to be settled down or allowed to ramble at length depending on the daily level of insanity. If he gets to be too much, Channing Crowder could replace him the following season with a negligible to negative increase in intelligent, coherent commentary.

The back stories of the players should only be explored if they’ve been in trouble with the law, suspended for violation of team rules, have over three children/baby mamas or played at a program where the head coach instituted the Bobby Bowden “Boys Will Be Boys” policy for exceptional players. These are the stories we want. This is the information teams crave. Just ask Jeff Ireland. No sob stories about a tough upbringing or family getting shot on the streets. The Alabama Four? Treat them like the West Memphis Three and get the real story about what went down that day. The kid who lost his mother, grandmother and brother to disease and the streets and was raised by his high school coach? Keep it moving and save it for Oprah or some sappy ESPN filler segment. Fine. We’re not heartless. Sprinkle some feel good in there but let’s not get carried away.

The players should compete individually as well as against each other in events of speed and strength. The Wonderlic should also be given but the format should be changed. No longer will it be private. It will now be administered in a quiz show format. Your host for this segment? Merrill Hoge. Yes. Poach Merrill Hoge from ESPN. How great would it be to watch him berate random players for absolutely no reason, curse Vince Young then get a Pittsburgh flashback and order Primanti’s into his microphone? “Why isn’t anyone answering me?? Smallman Street Fries on my sandwich!”

Forget amazing. The NFL Network has a chance to be the place where phenomenal happens if they do the regional combine competitions the right way. Keep hope alive.

As a lifelong football fan; I can tell you that to this point, it’s been a mostly one-way love affair. The league will take, and take, and take…but give precious little. Oh sure, we have experienced three exciting, and competitive Super Bowls in a row, and NFL parody has blessed us with at least six new playoff teams each season; each seemingly with their own set of compelling storylines. But, for every good thing the game and its administrators brings, there is at least one negative. Some more serious then others.

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Debo from Friday (Editor’s note: actual nickname from his teammates) Steelers linebacker James Harrison has a penchant for helmet shots, as well as a desire to speak his mind, regardless of the potential backlash. It is precisely his fearlessness that propelled him to be the 2008 AP NFL Defensive Player of the Year, as well as the guy who surrendered $100,000 last season to the Shield for devastating shots on Browns receivers Mohammed Massaquoi and Josh Cribbs.

So why should we be surprised at what he said in a new interview released by Men’s Journal (not a gay magazine btw):

On Roger Goodell

“If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it,” Harrison told the magazine. “I hate him and will never respect him.”

His other descriptions of the commissioner include an anti-gay slur, “stupid,” “puppet” and “dictator.”

Sad face for James Harrison. Somebody needs an ice cream cone…or a hug.

Harrison also criticizes other NFL execs, Patriots-turned-commentators Rodney Harrison and Tedy Bruschi (“clowns”), Houston’s Brian Cushing (“juiced out of his mind”) — and even teammates Rashard Mendenhall and Ben Roethlisberger for their performances in the Super Bowl loss.

Harrison calls the running back a “fumble machine” for his fourth-quarter turnover. Mendenhall said on Twitter on Wednesday he didn’t have a problem with what Harrison said “because I know him.” But he also included a link to his stats from last season, which show he didn’t have a pattern of fumbling.

I hate the Steelers as much as any god-fearing Cleveland Browns fan, but the numbers, and facts, don’t support Harrison. Roethlisberger may be a douche, but he delivered a perfect strike in the right endzone to Santonio Holmes to secure a victory in Super Bowl XLIII. The Steelers defense completely shit the bed against Green Bay, and Mendenhall did cough up the rock, but he still had a better game in Super Bowl XLV then Harrison did. But I’m not going to tell him any of that.

I don’t read Monday Morning Quarterback by Peter King, unless it’s first filtered here. But, serendipity has permitted Peter King to uncover perhaps the most interesting pre-Super Bowl storyline. Well, that and that little matter about the 2011 season going the way of NBC’s Joey.

Ben Roethlisberger has twice been accused of sexual assault, and so, he was suspended for six games this season by the NFL, which was later reduced to four games. Roethlisberger, who apparently believes that sexual assault is not worth more then a couple games riding the pine, thought that the penalty was unduly harsh. NFL Commissioner and “workaholic” Roger Goodell spoke with a number of Roethlisberger’s teammates and basically confirmed what every casual NFL fan already knew; most people who know Big Ben think he’s an asshole.

Tell me again how tough it is to travel to fun places and talk to famous athletes Peter King:

Goodell said he “doesn’t feel any connection” with Ben Roethlisberger. Not too surprising there. I’d always heard Roethlisberger felt he got railroaded on his six-game suspension that was reduced to four. But Goodell said he had “some very tough times” with Chicago defensive tackle Tank Johnson before suspending him, and that Donte’ Stallworth chafed when first told he’d be suspended for a year after a car Stallworth was driving struck a man on a Miami causeway and killed him, with the player being legally drunk at the time.
“The one thing I take a little bit of issue with is when guys tell me they’re being screwed,” Goodell said. “[Most often] they’re not recognizing they have a role in it.” Regarding Roethlisberger, Goodell said when he was investigating what to do with the quarterback, he talked to “I bet two dozen players … Not one, not a single player, went to his defense. It wasn’t personal in a sense, but all kinds of stories like, ‘He won’t sign my jersey.’ ”

Great job, Peter King. Somebody deserves a treat (dangles sardine in front of King until he kneels, and claps his flippers)

But is this even really news? Former Steelers Linebacker Joey Porter called out Roethlisberger in 2006. It’s not like it was a secret that Roethlisberger is a douche.

As we already know, America loves winners. Therefore, you’ll never guess what happened this week during Super Bowl press conferences when Steelers teammates were asked about Goodell’s assertion.

Drop my jaw to the floor ProFootballTalk:

Steelers linebacker James Farrior, however, said it’s simply not true for Goodell to claim that no one on the Steelers went to bat for Roethlisberger.

“I was highly upset about the whole situation,” Farrior said. “When Roger Goodell came to us in the preseason, I think I was the guy that asked him a lot of the questions about Ben. I was pretty upset about it. I really didn’t get any answers from him that I was looking for, but I was definitely disappointed in what the verdict was and how they proceeded. I definitely didn’t think he should be suspended four games.”

Poppycock! Roethlisberger has always been popular with his teammates. Let’s hope Roethlisberger uses his newfound people skills to diffuse the situation and doesn’t try to “force” the issue with his teammates before the big game.