Barcelona wore those away kits that made them look like walking cans of Five Alive against AC Milan and played accordingly. They return home down two goals after a stunning defeat at the San Siro earlier today. Mario Balotelli, Robinho and the rest of their crew sent them on their way with their impression of an early 90s hip hop video. I’d love to know what that girl said to them. I’m guessing the Italian equivalent of “Y’all gettin’ some tonight”. Commence bouncing with joy.

H/T to Footy Memes

Poor Avram Grant. He’s the public face of the shit show otherwise known as Portsmouth FC. One day they’re talking about building a new state of the art stadium complex. The next day, they can’t pay their players or staff and Grant’s caught frequenting Thai hookers. It’s hard to blame him when his wife is drinking tumblers of her own piss on national television in Israel. He might want to be careful. Pick the wrong Thai woman and this could happen:

Congrats Avram. You beat out Rooney and his granny whores. On to the footy.

Your Favorite Team Is For Sale

Hah! Just playin … unless you’re a Crystal Palace supporter. If you are, we’d advise not picking up yesterday’s Financial Times.

FT readers opened their papers to discover an ad offering Crystal Palace FC for sale. The London club was placed into administration in late January due to outstanding debts. Administrator Brendan Guilfoyle has been trying to sell the club as well as keep it running for the rest of the season. He says that 20 offers have been received since the club fell out of owner Simon Jordan’s hands. Hopefully there are no joke offers like the ones received when Mike Ashley tried to sell Newcastle. Palace supporters should look at the bright side. Their team is still in the hunt for the FA Cup and the ad was in FT instead of Craigslist or a phone booth.

An Unveiling Worthy Of Sea World

What do you get when you cross Brazilian soccer, rapping and whales? If you guessed Robinho, give yourself a high five in the face. You’ll do it anyway when you see footage of the Manchester City flop’s unveiling to Santos fans.

Robinho’s entrance was a bit much for this guy. He’s going to fine in Brazil. What can anyone expect from the guy that demanded 40 condoms for himself and his boys at a party when they were supposed to be on their way back to their club teams in Europe and elsewhere.

American teams should make big name signings perform some skill in front of the fans. Shaq would have to rap in front of Cavs fans. Eddy Curry would have to take on Joey Chesnutt in an eating contest or see how many medicine balls he could pop with his ass in five minutes. There’s some potential here.

Spanish Banks Playing With Fire

Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria, Spain’s second largest bank and the Spanish football federation are joining forces to offer up to $500,000 of  insurance coverage to fans attending matches in Spain. Primera Liga and second division match attendees will be covered as long as they have a valid ticket. Fans who are official members of their clubs will also be covered during travel to and from away matches.

There’s no word of any coverage for Champions League or Europa cup matches. That’s probably for the best. No telling what goes down in Kazakhstan or Albania.