Welcome to New York, ‘Melo. One good thing about him coming to New York is the fact that fans will be able to get something to eat in the Garden again. Eddy Curry’s off to Minnesota. If Prince isn’t careful, he might find himself covered in BBQ sauce and sitting in Curry’s belly like Jonah. You hungry muthafucka!
Anthony may be the half-savior of New York but he should still be initiated and hazed like anyone else joining a new team. Chelsea makes all new players and staff sing in front of the team. Maybe he can perform Q-Tip’s Knicks anthem:
Nah that’s way too easy. If Anthony’s not going to reenact the “Stop Snitching” video, he should be forced to remake this with Keenan Cahill, Isiah Thomas and James Dolan:
Making Anthony front JD and the Straight Shot would be cruel and unusual punishment. I would have mentioned Spike Lee but I saw him on stage at the Prince show in December. No one needs to see him dance again.
By the way, how did Mikhail Prokhorov not fly Anthony to the Alps to party with a bunch of Albanian girls fresh out of a shipping container and Jay-Z? That’s some straight oligarch fail. Roman Abramovich would have been all over it.
H/T to Complex Magazine.