Great things come in bears. Now guess who comes in whores. If you picked Sen. David Vitter and Peter Crouch, winner winner chicken dinner! Actually Vitter comes in diapers but that’s a story for another time.
The England and Spurs striker was busted by News of the World for picking up a hooker during a bachelor party weekend in Madrid. Of course, she and a hotel insider spilled the story to the rag for an undetermined amount of money.
Crouch handed over cash to petite Monica for a sex act in the back of a taxi and THEN bedded her at a downmarket hotel in the Spanish capital.
In an exclusive interview with the News of the World, Monica told us: “Peter had no hesitation in paying to have sex with me. He wasn’t nervous.
Who knew insects got down like that? It gets better.
* DEMANDED the sex act in the taxi despite knowing passing drivers might see them as they travelled through central Madrid.
* GASPED with desire as he admired Monica’s naked body, crying out, ‘Oh my God… it’s beautiful.’
* INSISTED on taking her mobile number in case he fancied a replay.
* BEGGED hotel staff to strike his name from their records in a bid to cover his tracks.
Needless to say, Crouch’s attempted cover-up went as well as Nixon’s after the Watergate break-in.
The Sun “reports” that Crouch is being forced to sleep on the couch by his fiancee, Abbey Clancy. She ran to John Terry’s wife, Toni for support. Good advice will definitely flow from a woman with no self-respect who lets her man cheat on the regular because he buys her nice things.
“Abbey, get used to it and get yourself something nice like a good WAG. Now get out of here before John gets back. He knows you’re with Peter so he’ll definitely want a shag. Although if he does, I get a trip to Bali… On second thought, come in and have a drink. He’ll be home in 15.”
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