Strangely enough, that title is actually pretty apt for what you are about to see below.  Just watch all the limbs snapping like branches on the tree.  You really would have to believe in a higher power if you actually think you can survive this madness unscathed.

photo by Christopher Victorio (LA Weekley)

So take a bunch of hipsters and dorks (some would say they are one in the same) mix in some LARPing, some WWE and quite a bit of untapped aggression and you get what we have here: The Foam Weapon League.  This is essentially a fight club for people who don’t actually want to get hurt…and it is hilarious.

How does the FWL work?  Simple.  You first create a weapon to fight with out of a material that won’t actually hurt someone but will cause some impact (ie: foam). Then you get a costume, create a shtick, sign up with the FWL, show up to an event and strap on impact released blood packets on various points of the body.  Next, you fight.  Really, you fight with those weapons you made.  The object is to blow up the blood packets on the other person without getting yours burst.  The first person with two blood packets broken loses.

This is going on in LA right now and I wouldn’t be surprised if it hits the east coast soon, if it hasn’t already.  Surely there are enough drama club geeks, role playing gamers and urban hipsters out there that want to let out some of their aggression without mussing up their pretty little faces, aren’t there?

For quite a pictorial on the FWL, check out this slideshow on LA Weekly, it documents exactly what goes on there and is great for a laugh.  Some of these people look like they really, really, get into it.

Still dont have enough?  Well I have saved the best for last.  Watch this video…it is really all kinds of awesome.

I’m giving the FWL a bit of a hard time here but in reality you know that I am already plotting my own Chimpanzee Rage weapon and outfit.  I just need  to create a Bo staff out of foam and start working on the angriest monkey faced mask you have ever seen. CHIMPANZEE RAGE WILL DOMINATE THE FWL!  So much monkey…so much rage!!

Say what?  I know you’re looking at this and thinking that there is no way there is a sport that is named Dwile Flonking.  Well there is, its a pub game actually, and of course its from England.

Dwile Flonking consists of…well i’ll just let the newspaper tell you:

During the game, ”flonkers” use a pole to launch a beer-soaked cloth at opponents, with the aim of giving them a hearty wet slap in the face.

Rules state if their soggy missile misses its target twice in a row, the competitor must down a pot – or half – of ale as quickly as possible.

Thats right, the game is essentially opposite human beer pong. Instead of tossing a ping pong ball into a cup and making your opponent drink, you toss a soggy wet rag right onto your opponent’s face and drink if you miss.  How brilliant is this? Its beer pong brought down to its most basic elements! This is a far cooler bar game than icing some bro.

Scoring is as follows from their hilarious Wikipedia page:

+3: a ‘wanton’- a direct hit on a girter’s head

+2: a ‘morther’ or ‘marther’- a body hit

+1: a ‘ripple’ or ‘ripper’- a leg hit

-1 per sober person at the end of the game

Sadly for the sport, the inaugural tournament was cancelled due to health and safety reasons…but the real damage has already been done. Now America has picked up on it…and this game has only just started to take root into our consciousness. You can watch the video of it here on Youtube, and yes, for the game to work in America it’s going to have to be Americanized, like moshing instead of dancing and some metal music instead of flutes and fiddles, but I predict big things for Flonkers everywhere in the future.

Spread the word. FLONKERS UNITE!!

From Telegraph U.K.

Apparently when you’re a coal miner in England you get bored easily.  This causes some people to come up with some ways to vacate that boredom for their own sanity’s sake.  Some people read, others create music and some stick ferrets in their pants and see how long they can last with those buggers running around nibbling on their naughty bits.  Its called Ferret Legging.  Don’t believe me?  Watch the video for yourself, skip to the 1:30 mark for the real action:

Amazingly you cannot be drunk during this, dulls the senses you see, you need to be wide awake to feel the pain. Think you can compete? Well, just remember you’re going up against guys who are crazy enough to think this:

“The world record was sixty seconds. Sixty seconds! I can stick a ferret up me ass for longer than that.”

To quote my co-blogger Mustafa:

“Richard Gere would be proud”

From Neatorama