From Reddit

It must be tough for hockey fans who have to play 3rd wheel to Favre’s penis and the MLB playoffs when the NHL regular season starts. Luckily the NHL knows how to get some attention. Start a ruckus on and off the ice.

Let’s start with some in-game action. Hockey Fights brings us the first knockout of the season. Check the Edmonton Oilers’ Steven McIntyre knock out Raitis Ivanans of the Calgary Flames.

“You don’t want to see this”? Oh yes we do. Don’t front as though fans don’t love hockey fights. No one’s waiting for the combatants to love each other like Ricky Bobby and Jean Gerrard.

People don’t want to see incidents like the one four days ago when Atlanta Trashers’ goalie Ondrej Pavelec suddenly collapsed on the ice. Fortunately he was released from the hospital yesterday with a clean bill of health besides a concussion caused when his head hit the ice. They claim he merely fainted. There seems to be a bit of that happening in the sports world the past couple weeks.

Not to be outdone, Mike Ribeiro of the Dallas Stars was arrested along with his wife and another couple for public intoxication after a restaurant altercation. The group got into it with an off-duty Plano police officer but only one was charged with assault in addition to the other charge. One can only assume they were fighting over a bloomin’ onion platter.

Ribeiro is playing the incident down but the team is still investigating. Click here for police documents regarding Ribeirogate.

Less than a week in and already the NHL is in midseason form. Bravo. Your move, NBA. Allen Iverson to Turkey isn’t going to cut it. Turkey? Turkey? Man, we talkin’ bout Turkey.

H/T to Hockey Fights.

Watch Peter Forsberg, Henrik and Daniel Sedin, Markus Naslund, Victor Hedman, and Mats Zuccarello Aasen get their cook on at Swedish restaurant Mamma Mia.

Surprisingly, Forsberg didn’t injure himself making these videos. They didn’t burn the restaurant down either. That already happened in 1994.

These videos should start a trend. We’d love to see a group of boxers like James Toney, Mike Tyson, Roberto Duran and Evander Holyfield take over a kitchen. Gordon Ramsey should think about having them on Hell’s Kitchen. Imagine him trying to yell at one of them.

H/T to Slice and Serious Eats for the videos.

In the fight for the Stanley Cup you just have to put your head down, go full speed and hit anyone in your path…apparently including your own teammate as Dan Carcillo did to his Philadelphia Flyers teammate Jeff Carter last night against the Chicago Blackhawks in Game 2 of the NHL Finals.  Give it a look, it might be the best hit of the Finals you’ll see this year.  Oh, by the way, the Chicacgo Blackhawks beat the Philadelphia Flyers and are up 2-0 in the series.

Lebron James ended his season last night as valiantly as possible.  With an elbow that looked positively damaged, he managed to keep the Cavs alive for most of the game, even if it looked like the rest of his teammates were busy planning their next tattoos.  After the game, Lebron said all the right (albeit boring) things — officially kicking off what has the potential to be the most annoying 45 days of sports coverage of all time: ”Oh, where will Lebron sign!?!?!?!?”  Expect a month and a half of Farvian-coverage that will be more psychologically damaging than a Michael Irvin and Emmitt Smith production of “Hamlet.”  Until then, on to some headlines: 

• The Montreal Canadiens upset the Pittsburgh Penguins to advance to the Conference Finals.

• The Kansas City Royals fired manager Trey Hillman and replaced him with Ned Yost.

• Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing re-won the AP’s Defensive Rookie of the Year after a positive drug test led the AP to take a re-vote. 

Cushing is the third NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year to be suspended for performance-enhancing substances in the last eight seasons, following Julius Peppers and Shawne Merriman.  The equivalent to this in baseball would be if Evan Longoria, Ryan Howard and Hanley Ramirez all tested positive for PEDs. If that had come to pass Congress would be involved, columnists would have their heart medication doubled and we would all be forced to think of the children under penalty of law.

 

I don’t think I could say it any better, so I won’t.  Is this the worst NFL offseason ever?  I think so.  And while Cushing is clear to point out he did not have a positive test for steroids, I’ll let this picture do the talking:

 

Yeah, that’s all natural, baby. 

• Curt Schilling told ESPN that Stephen Strasburg could be the best pitcher in baseball when he is recalled from the minor leagues.

• The Miami Heat created a website entitled www.wewantwade.com in order to persuade the star to resign with the team.

• Toronto & Chris Bosh:  Since the G-20 is coming to town, the Raptors have scrapped their Bosh campaign and are just going to give him to Philly.
• Atlanta & Joe Johnson: The Hawks have offered to re-open the “Gold Club” with new manager Patrick Ewing. 
• Phoenix & Amare Stoudemire: They plan on scaring the hell out of him.  Three words: Zombie Steve Nash.
• Utah & Carlos Boozer: The Jazz will create a fake max offer from Cleveland, just so he can renege on it and resign with Utah.
• San Antonio & Manu Ginobli: A lifetime membership in the Hair Club for Men and a nose job on the arm. 
• Detroit Pistons & Kwame Brown: The Pistons are raising money to purchase a bus ticket to Charlotte, NC so Kwame can be reunited with the only person in the world who ever thought he’d be good at basketball: Michael Jordan.

• The farm used in the movie “Field of Dreams” is for sale.