So many great stories going on in sports right now, it’s hard to try to focus on just one to blather on about.  So, like that ADD-college kid who has unlimited scripts for Adderall but decides he’d rather be a scatterbrained mess and sell them for enough cash to buy a 4runner, let’s whirl through Duke’s braindroppings: Read the rest of this entry

Reading Between the Headlines

Late last year, I had a burgeoning five-hour energy problem.  I finally kicked it in early January, but now, thanks to Kansas State and Xavier, it’s coming back.  What a great game.  So now I’m debating a re-up – White Lightning, where you at?  Thankfully, there won’t be any more late-night weeknight games.  On to the headlines:

Before K-State survived, Syracuse was knocked out by Butler

Yeah, 75% of the country’s brackets were done last weekend, so we don’t care.  What I really care about is the deification of Gus Johnson.  What happened to this guy?  He’s not that good anymore.  A few years ago, he was solid.  Now, he’s just another screamer.  I found him almost unbearable last night. 

Meanwhile, Billy Raferty explained the origin of “onions.”

I, on the other hand, will never get tired of Billy Raferty.

Joe Mauer signed an 8-year $184M extension with the Minnesota Twins.

Couldn’t be happier for Twins fans; Mauer is a great player (even though his guaranteed $184M is roughly $32M more than what the team contributed to the funding of their new ballpark.  Thanks, Hennepin County!).  I just find it interesting that people are back-slapping the Twins for stepping up to the plate and taking such a big risk.  The recently- deceased owner was reportedly worth $3.6B.  Yeah, that’s a “B” for BILLION.  Excuse me if I’m not as obsequious.

 

Vicente Padilla, a true gentleman of the game.

Vicente Padilla will be the Opening Day starter for the Dodgers.

Apparently, Dean Wormer was wrongFat, drunk and Plaxico is a great way to go through life.

Gilbert Arenas will be sentenced today.  

I wouldn’t be surprised if Flip Saunders hopes for the chair.

Tim Tebow was cursed at when he suggested a prayer before the Wonderlic test.

Tebow is denying the story and if I were him, I’d deny it too.  The dude scored a 22 out of 50.  Just to give that score some context, 24 is the average for NFL QBs.  Even this guy beat him.  Clearly, Jesus was busy that day.   

Phil Hughes will start the season as the Yankees’ 5th starter.

Color me shocked.  If you followed the Yankees in spring training even somewhat closely, it was pretty easy to see this wasn’t really a competition.  And since most teams don’t need a 5th starter until May, once again, I must ask: who cares? 

Tiger Woods will hold a press conference the Monday before the Masters.

Wrestlemania XXVI is this weekend.

Now, there are two unrelated places that could both use Gus Johnson.

This week was kind of a downer, yes, I know.  Treat yourself to Keith Law’s Top 200 Rock Songs of the 1990’s.  In addition to his encyclopedic knowledge of music, I’m fairly certain he’s one of the few people in the world who could make the Kansas City Royals a playoff team.  That’s a rare combination of talent.   Have a great weekend, enjoy the games.

Bob Arum knows how to give the people what they want. Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Manny Pacquiao could have been the fight that revived boxing. Instead fans will get Pacquiao vs. plaster cheat Antonio Margarito followed by the possible retirement of the world’s best pound for pound boxer. Well done, Bob.

When Arum’s not taking part in ruining massive pay days, he’s battling bond lawyers and bar mitzvahs. Miguel Cotto is scheduled to take on WBA champion Yuri Foreman on June 12 at Madison Square Garden. The two parties are attempting to move the fight to June 5 and hold it at Yankee Stadium. One problem. The stadium is reserved for a bar mitzvah on the same day.

[Jonathan] Ballan, the lead bond lawyer for the financing of Yankee Stadium, reserved the stadium for his son’s bar mitzvah on Saturday, June 5. In addition to providing lounges, the Yankees promised to give the Ballan party access to the stadium’s giant scoreboard in center field for 30 minutes.

The Yankees are handling the negotiations with Ballan to find a solution to the scheduling conflict. Arum is offering seats for bar mitzvah attendees, a chance to meet Brooklyn native Foreman and autographed Yankee baseballs. The balls will probably be signed by Chuck Knoblauch or Hideki Irabu.

If the Yankees and Ballan can reach an agreement, the fight should be a massive local draw. It would be a battle to determine the greatest country/territory in New York City. Israel or Puerto Rico.  Jews vs. blacks in Crown Heights is old and busted. Who ya got?

Foreman’s publicist, Dovid Efune, said, “This may be the greatest Jewish sporting event since David versus Goliath.”

The fight would also be the greatest Puerto Rican sporting event since the Puerto Rican Day parade. It would have to be held after 11:30 to allow Orthodox Puerto Ricans … sorry, Jews to get to the fight following the Sabbath.

If negotiations aren’t successful, expect Arum to blame the Jews.