Ramzan Kadyrov is a bloodthirsty autocrat put in place by Vladmir Putin to quash the Chechen insurgency. He kills mothers and children while torturing anyone suspected of being a Muslim militant. This is what many would have you believe. Look at him. Do you doubt Hilary Swank? Could a man who owns a tiger be that evil? That’s almost as ridiculous as calling an Italian a fascist.

Kadyrov finally ran up against an immovable object in the form of the Russian Football Union. The association banned Terek Grozny from playing in their stadium for one match after the Chechen president berated a referee over the PA system during a match.

Kadyrov, who is the club’s president as well as the leader of the troubled Russian republic, reacted angrily to referee Mikhail Vilkov’s dismissal of Terek captain Rizvan Utsiev during Sunday’s 0-0 draw at home to Rubin Kazan.

The local leader took control of the Grozny arena’s public address system to shout: “The referee is corrupt. You jerk!”

Kadyrov followed up by saying the jerk store ran out of Mikhails or something along those lines.

It’s much easier to defy Kadyrov from almost 1000 miles away in Moscow. One can only assume referee Mikhail Vilkov spent no time getting to the airport and leaving the province before being fed to a tiger or hunted by the president and his cronies.

Kadryov later apologized for his actions but excluded the referee. He instead invited him to a getaway at his dacha so they can talk things out over some homemade djepelgesh. Watch Surviving The Game, Mikhail. You don’t want none of what Ramzan got.

“Sir, some Manischewitz to go along with your pigeon steak?”

Who knew Mike Tyson was down with the kashrut? He’s come a long way from throwing down on Evander Holyfield’s ear which is definitely not kosher.

Tyson is allegedly in talks with Moshe Malamud, chairman of the Franklin Mint collectibles company, about opening a chain of high-end kosher restaurants. They recently met to discuss the idea at a New York restaurant.

The former champ, who was Muslim at last check, went vegan earlier this year. While it may not have “been long enough for [the] kind of Zen shit” that comes from vegan “explosions of energy”, Tyson swears he’s done eating meat.

Anyone who thinks Iron Mike can’t pull this venture off needs to kill that noise. Remember how he handled tea service?

Tyson does have a history of being taken for his money by business associates. He might want to watch Malamud. You’ve seen those Franklin Mint commercials. Would you trust anyone who sells a quarter for $2? No way, Jose. Expensive quarters and cannolis can step the fuck off like Gigantor.

H/T to Eater for the heads up.

You probably thought there was no way anyone could top the video for Bobby Brown’s Every Little Step. Check out this Funny or Die version by Wayne Brady, Mike Tyson and Bobby Brown.

Hopefully this starts a trend of former boxers remaking classic videos. Riddick Bowe would make a great Too Big MC (MC Hammer’s sidekick). Oscar de la Hoya would make a great Selena or Paula Abdul. There’s no way Goldie would turn down a chance to remake the video for Rush, Rush with Keanu Reeves.

If there’s one thing Gilbert Gottfried can do besides kill on Bob Saget’s roast, it’s play a crooked record company executive. It’s not a stretch to think that he could play a boxing promoter or manager. HBO should have called him, MC Serch, Prime Minister Pete Nice and Don Newkirk out of retirement to help them make their latest boxing announcement.

HBO is officially out of the heavyweight boxing business due to the lack of competition.

Ross Greenburg, HBO sports president said on Wednesday that it was down to the paucity of credible American heavyweights.

“’We’re out of the heavyweight division. There isn’t any interest in the US and no one besides Haye to challenge the Klitschkos.”

Greenburg is stating what most boxing fans have been saying for years. The heavyweight division has been in decline since the fall of Mike Tyson. Evander Holyfield was a warrior but not on the same level as Tyson in his prime. He’s still fighting even though he’s a shell of his former self. He’s a joke at this point.

Lennox Lewis, in the words of Clubber Lang, was a “paper champion”. He fought a broken Tyson and cowardly retired so he wouldn’t have to accept a rematch against Vitaly Klitschko who was beating his ass before the fight was stopped due to a vicious cut over the Ukranian’s eye.

The best fights these days are in the lower divisions where younger and hungrier fighters thrive. No one is interested in watching a tomato can like John Ruiz fight another overweight chump for some random belt. The Klitschko brothers are a huge draw in Europe but most Americans aren’t interested in them.

One can find numerous reasons for the heavyweight division’s current predicament. The move from free to pay-per-view TV and Don King are a good start.

Promoter Bob Arum says it is about the characters. “If the heavyweight champion of the world was LeBron James or Michael Jordan, heavyweight boxing would be flying high,” he told Telegraph Sport.

Historian Bert Sugar concurs. “The problem is they can earn ten times the money and these days the big guys are scared of being hit,” added Sugar.

Sugar and other boxing experts claim Haye could make it in the US but he would have to beat the Klitschkos then fight over here. There seems to be little chance of that happening. He talks plenty of shit but continues to run from both brothers. Would he be able to save the division even if he came to the US after beating a Klitschko? Who would he fight? No one’s interested in any American heavyweight currently out there. It won’t be long until Butterbean and Oliver McCall get another shot at legitimacy.

HBO should just stick with the lower divisions until another maladjusted kid comes around to send opponents to Bolivian then eat their children like Tyson. Until then, heavyweights can take a seat next to MC Hammer and PW Botha.

Ah the hell with it. Here you go. Enjoy.

Anything Marvin Hagler can do, Mike Tyson can do better. If Marvin Hagler can become an Italian icon, you know damn well Iron Mike can the same. First step towards Italian domination: Dancing with the Stars.

Next step: Prime Minister. Silvio Berlusconi has been prime minister multiple times in a country where every has a turn. The office has changed hands over 40 times since Mussolini. If someone like that clown can lead the country, there’s no reason why Tyson can’t have a go. “Iron” symbolizes law and order. Forza Iron Mike!