Miguel Cabrera looks pretty satisfied with himself after the epic night that resulted in his arrest during spring training. He threatened to kill bar patrons and dared the cops to kill him. The Florida state attorney’s office released more information earlier this week which makes him look much better … at drunk driving.

Citing evidence released Tuesday by Florida’s state attorney’s office, WPTV reported on its website that two Walmart truck drivers told authorities a black Range Rover, which police later determined to be Cabrera’s, forced one of the trucks off the road and forced an oncoming vehicle to take “evasive action and (go) totally onto the grass shoulder in order not to hit the sports utility vehicle head-on.”

Cabrera pulled to the side of the road and stopped his vehicle with smoke coming from its hood.

That’s when he decided it would be a good idea to pull out the bottle of scotch and confront the cops. WPTV has video of the DUI arrest and the 911 call beforehand.

“Was Detroit Tigers all-star Miguel Cabrera driving recklessly before arrest in St. Lucie County?” Brilliant question, WPTV. No, everyone else was and that’s why he looked erratic to them.

How has James Buchanan not offered Cabrera an endorsement deal yet? What’s more gangsta than whipping out a bottle of liquid courage and staring death in the face. They should package it with Axe body spray so The Douche can rock the Cabrera all summer long.

By now, many are familiar with the story of Miguel Cabrera’s DUI arrest last month. The Detroit Tigers slugger was pulled over after police saw his car on the side of the road in Ft. Pierce, Florida near the Tigers’ spring training facility. He asked the cops if they knew who he was and continued to take swigs from a whiskey bottle while being arrested.

The Florida State’s Attorney’s office released their evidence against Cabrera on Wednesday and let’s just say it’s not pretty. The Smoking Gun reports that prior to his arrest, he was in a bar after closing. He was asked to leave by the manager and refused.

[Bar manager Fletcher] Nail said that Cabrera “leaned down close to my face” and said, “I will kill you.” Nail added that the ballplayer looked around the bar and added, “I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.” Another witness, a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission agent, told investigators that Cabrera threatened him and Nail “by saying he had a gun in his bag for us.”

Cabrera left while cussing at Nail and a bar patron. Police found him on the side of the road. When they approached him, he threatened to kill an imaginary passenger and refused to cooperate.

After giving a Florida cop the middle finger, baseball star Miguel Cabrera shouted at police, “Fucking shoot me, kill me” when ordered to drop to his knees so that officers could handcuff him, according to a sheriff’s report.

The 27-year-old athlete, busted last month in Fort Pierce for drunk driving, also stated, “Fuck you. Do you know who I am? I’m Miguel Cabrera, I play for the Detroit Tigers, you don’t know my family.”

This incident is the most recent in a long line of incidents involving Cabrera and alcohol. In 2009, GM Dave Dombrowski had to pick him up from the police station the morning before a game after police were called to his house. He was found with scratches on his face and blew a .26. Since then, he’s been in rehab and also threatened restaurant patrons by claiming he had a gun.

Cabrera has exhibited an extremely disturbing pattern of behavior since he’s been in the majors and especially with the Tigers. One has to wonder if this is why the Marlins dumped him (besides being incredibly cheap). He’s one of the best players in baseball but with all due respect to Charlie Sheen, he’s slowly destroying himself.

The Tigers put Dontrelle Willis on the DL twice in 2009 so he could deal with his anxiety issues yet they can’t step up and make Cabrera sort himself out? Teams often ignore off the field problems as long as the player concerned continues to put up numbers and perform. He may continue to produce on the field but that shouldn’t be the limit of their concern.

The additional information released yesterday should encourage the team’s hierarchy to intervene and make him get the help he needs. It’s long overdue. They’re also better off doing it now than in July and August when it happens again. So far it’s business as usual.

Whenever I’m having a really bad day, I like to take a trip over to Texts From Last Night and scroll through some of the “Worst Nights.” Always makes me feel a little better. In case you didn’t know, famous athletes and their brethren don’t always have great nights either. Wonder what’d it’d be like to get a text from an athlete? Dream no more. I shall share a few of the choice nuggs I came across in the last week or so:

Miguel Cabrera:

Well, I guess he’s got to get it out of his system before the best season of his life starts. Right Jim Leyland? Here’s James Dolan:

“I’m the Wiz, and NOBODY BEATS ME!”  Want to know what was on Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne’s mind right when he got to Victory Lane?

Dan Snyder has had a rough off-season.  Nonetheless, that’s not going to stop him from doing his best to continue ruining a once-proud franchise!

Lastly, I caught up with seventeen year-old Eliza Kruger, former paramour of NY Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez: