You Say Liverpool Do As Liverpool Does And I Say Soccer Player Gets Shot Warming Up For Match. Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off

Damn that post title was forced but I got it in there like a boss. Can I still say that or is that over like welp and yolo? Solid.

It’s one thing when scousers rob the houses of their favorite soccer players and managers but it’s another when they go straight Mexican cartel. Alder FC might want to get Billy Blanks to join their team for protection after things got a bit Zeta before a game.

Alan Jopson, an amateur league player for Alder, was warming up for their match against Allerton FC when someone who took offense to his stretching routine and made sure there wouldn’t be a repeat performance.

An amateur footballer was gunned down by a gangland hitman in front of 150 spectators as he was warming up for a match with teammates.

Alan Jopson, 27, was doing stretch exercises just before kick-off at a playing field in Liverpool when the masked gunman calmly jogged on to the pitch and shot him in the legs.

The victim was hit three times in both legs and lay reeling in agony as the would-be assassin fled in a silver getaway car.

I imagine the gunman’s getaway looked a little something like this.

Police determined that the victim was the intended target but don’t have a motive. Well now they do. What’s the lesson here? Don’t freeball it while stretching in Liverpool. They’ll shoot ‘em if they can’t steal ‘em.

Oh fine. Here’s some Louis Armstrong since I referenced him. Learin’ The Blues with Ella Fitzgerald. Class up your morning, heathens.