Enough has been made about Russia and Qatar (Katar or Quatar if you’re an American Twitter user) respectively winning the 2018 and 2022 World Cups. You can find critiques of either choice all over the internet. If you want some level-headed perspective, look to the English tabloids. At least government figures are taking the vote in stride.

Mayor Boris Johnson of London took away free hotel rooms reserved for FIFA during the 2012 Olympics after England was denied the chance to host the World Cup.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter and his team had been in line to benefit from the rooms during the two-week sporting extravaganza in the city.

However following the controversy of the 2018 World Cup vote, which saw England knocked out at the first-round stage with just two of a possible 22 votes from the FIFA executive committee, Johnson has decided that they should not receive the freebie.

He is yet to comment on the decision, which was taken after he met with Sebastian Coe, chairman of Olympic organising committee LOCOG – the body responsible for handing out the accommodation.

That’ll show FIFA. Now they’ll have to sleep under a bridge or shack up in a hostel with a bunch of construction workers and hippie tourists. Nothing like the image of Jack Warner sharing a shower and bunk with some hippie from Argentina who smells like patchouli and sings Manu Chao to himself in his sleep. Little does Pedro know that Jack does a mean rendition of “Dollar Wine”.

It’s going to be a long two weeks. Get your ass to Mars.

If you’re going to go down for something, the least you can do is go out in a blaze of glory like Maurice Clarrett. Former Vikings head coach Mike Tice scalped a bunch of tickets for what? A bucket of week-old Taco Bell shrimp and a pink slip. Let Robbie Earle show you how it’s done.

ITV World Cup pundit Robbie Earle was fired from his job for passing “substantial number of [World Cup] tickets” allocated to him to a “third party”. It turns out the third party was really a party. If 36 Dutch women aren’t a party, I don’t know what is.

Here’s where things get interesting. The women, all wearing orange dresses as the Dutch do, were part of a guerrilla marketing campaign by Bavaria Beer. The women showed up at the Netherlands-Denmark game and were promptly arrested by FIFA? Is that like getting arrested at Disney World?

The models were detained and questioned by FIFA and police who informed them that “ambush marketing” is illegal and punishable by six months in jail. One can only assume FIFA jail is having to service Sepp Blatter and Jack Warner in some Swiss ice palace in the Alps.

It should be noted that Bavaria Beer is not an official sponsor of the 2010 McDowell’s Meisterbrau RC Cola BP Sorny World Cup. The dresses didn’t have any logo on them but they come with every purchase of Bavaria.

Bavaria’s excellent response?

“Fifa doesn’t have a monopoly on the colour orange.”

Maybe so but shart brown is the official color of the World Cup.

Enough. We give you video of these brave, intrepid women unlike others who tease you with words and pictures.

It won’t be long before these martyrs take their place in the pantheon of South African heroes alongside Steve Biko, Oliver Tambo and Nelson Mandela.