You know what movie doesn’t pass the test of time? Tango and Cash. I remember seeing the previews and thinking it was going to be the greatest movie of all time. (I thought the same thing about the Three Amigos. “Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?”) The prison break scene was solid but it could have been better. They should have broken into prison instead of out. No. They should have broken into a women’s prison. Maybe that could be the premise of Tango and Cash 2: Electric Boogaloo. Stallone and Russell are probably overpriced so they could be replaced by Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli and his brother, Enock.

Balotelli and his brother were briefly detained by Italian police after breaking into a women’s prison in Brescia.

Brescia jail officer Calogero Lo Presti said: “We saw a high-powered Mercedes coupé come through the gate with two lads on board, and after a few minutes we realised Balotelli was one of them.

“They were questioned for 30 minutes to get their details and by the end both were frightened. Balotelli said he was sorry.

“They said they had seen the gate was open, and went in without knowing that you need special permission to visit a jail.

“They added they were specially curious at the fact it was a women’s prison.”

Too bad Mario and Enock mistake porn for documentaries. This is the difference between Europe and the United States. No way a black man in this country goes into a prison by choice (besides Omar) although points should be given for busting into a women’s prison. If the Balotelli brothers want a good time with porn stars, they should hook up with Adrian Mutu. They’ll be doing lines off a hooker’s ass in no time.

Mike Tyson Will Dance You Into Bolivian

Anything Marvin Hagler can do, Mike Tyson can do better. If Marvin Hagler can become an Italian icon, you know damn well Iron Mike can the same. First step towards Italian domination: Dancing with the Stars.

Next step: Prime Minister. Silvio Berlusconi has been prime minister multiple times in a country where every has a turn. The office has changed hands over 40 times since Mussolini. If someone like that clown can lead the country, there’s no reason why Tyson can’t have a go. “Iron” symbolizes law and order. Forza Iron Mike!