This video of Boston Mayor Tom Menino mispronouncing the name of Patriots players does nothing to dispel stereotypes about Boston. Every New England mayor is a blend of him, Diamond Joe Quimby and Buddy Cianci. I’ll leave the percentages up to you. Nothing you say will change my uneducated opinion about this.
Er ah I’m going to ah Welkah ovah there and ah Welkah! Now there’s a haircut you can set your watch to.
At least Menino was smart enough to bet food instead of a dance like Denver Mayor Michael Hancock. Imagine him doing the squirrel dance. He’d throw his back out and thensome. Remember when Goodspeed tells Mason what happens when one is exposed to VX gas? Bet it would look something like that. It’d be like Warning. Call the coroner, there’s gonna be alot of slow singin and flower bringin.
Has it been a year already fellow thrill seekers? My how time flies. Last season, I actually did finish over .500 for my picks, which was pretty darn lucky I think. Can I do it again? We shall see. There’s a lot of games this week starting with the Thursday night opener and finishing up with double the normal Monday Night Football action with two games taking place. Where to begin?
For those of you new to the weekly Pick Em post, I will go through and pick each game of the week, either with the spread, money line or total points scored. The picks will be in all caps and in bold. I will finish the post with my Upset Special of the Week and the Lock of the Week, meaning you can skip to the bottom for the real good stuff if you’d like.
If you follow along with my picks, you probably aren’t very smart. That being said, I was over .500 in my picks last season meaning if you actually bet money and used all my picks last season, you made some money. Congrats.*
This weeks’ column is brought to you by Amanda of the Vikings cheerleading squad and by Fan Duel, where if you click through you can legally bet on fantasy football action. Full disclosure, I get a little cash if you do. Not a bad deal for all.
You have got to love crazy Russians with too much money on their hands. No we’re not talking about New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov, we’re talking about the guy who wants to pay Paul the Prognosticating Octopus $5,000 a month salary for his sports betting picks.
Oleg Zhuravsky, one of the owners of a Russian sports betting site, Bet League, is the man who thinks the octopus, fresh off of a perfect 8-0 record for his World Cup picks, has what it takes to be a bookmaker…and he wants this cephalopod mollusk BAD. From the New Zealand Herald:
“Our specialists receive around $US3000 (NZ$4221) a month, so we will pay Paul $US5000 (NZ$7035).”
Mr Zhuravsky said he was willing to pay the Sea Life Oceanarium attraction in Oberhausen, Germany, where Paul lives, as much as 100,000 euros ($NZ182,052) for the oracle octopus.
According to todays conversion rate, that is $129,180 in US currency. Zhuravsky believes in the octopus so much that he would have pre-paid for 26 months of his picks.
Of course if the octopus stayed correct, that would be a steal but…wait, Wait, WAIT! This is an Octopus man! COME ON. COME ON.