Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Edgar Davids is in control here. Life in the Championship doesn’t seem to suit him too well. He signed with Crystal Palace this season after leaving Ajax and hasn’t been able to find the form which made him a star at Juventus and Barcelona. His struggles have lead to frustration which blew over in training after a fellow Palace player yelled at him for giving up the ball.

Tempers boiled over when Bennett, on loan from Nottingham Forest, blasted the veteran for giving the ball away in a practice session.

Davids, who joined the Eagles in August, took exception to the criticism and squared up to the defender.

“He went over to Bennett, grabbed him and started screaming ‘I’m the boss around here’.

“Everybody was stunned and nobody quite knew how to react – before a few of the other lads then jumped in and pulled them apart.

Davids doesn’t have time to Tony Danza with Bennett. There’s no question about who’s the boss. It’s the guy with the Rec-Specs. Just ask Kurt Rambis. MC Dr. Geek will second him on that.

The former Dutch international tested positive for steroids back in 2001 while with Juventus. Maybe he’s got some leftover roid rage. Perhaps he’s dipping in them again in a desperate effort to get his juju back. It’s likely that he’s just crazy. Louis van Gaal didn’t call him The Pitbull for nothing. Regardless Bennett should have manned up and dropped him Jhoon Rhee style.

Nobody bothers me either!

Who’s the next England player to be busted cheating on his wife with prostitutes? Wayne Rooney, come on down! He may not be scoring on the pitch but he sure knows how to put it in when it comes to the hoes.

Rooney was busted for cheating on his wife Colleen with Jennifer Thompson, a £1,000-a-night prostitute, while she was pregnant with their son. He slept with Thompson on several occasions over four months.

You might remember Rooney from previous hooker episodes such as Over 50 Whores. He apologized to his wife back then but was forced to come clean this weekend.

Rooney now expects betrayed Coleen to throw him out of their £5million mansion in Cheshire and begin moves for an explosive divorce. He told a pal yesterday: “My life is in ruins…I’ve been so stupid. Coleen won’t forgive me this time. She will leave me.”

No one has ever accused the striker of being intelligent. They not only stayed in the same hotel every time they hooked up but he also took her out on dates to various Manchester bars and clubs.

Of course, Thompson had no problem selling her story to the Mirror. Some of the details were mundane and what you would expect. However there were some interesting tidbits. He sent her loads of text messages as one would expect. However he also talked to her on Skype under a false name. What? Here’s FourFourTwo’s James Maw’s reaction via Twitter:

If that’s not enough to make this suspect, Thompson is only 21. That’s way too young for Rooney. Then again, we could be wrong. He may take them 8 to 80, dumb, crippled and crazy.

Regardless, Rooney knows Colleen’s going to come around saying, “Wayne, I want half!” Endorsements? Ask Tiger Woods how those are going for him right now.

To be a fly on the wall during Alex Ferguson’s next face to face conversation with Rooney. He’ll pray for the hair dryer treatment.

You’re lucky. I was gonna triple negative your asses there for a second but it’s too early in the morning for that.

England’s version of Green Man has about as much luck as the American one. Charlie got his ass whupped by the Philly Phanatic during the World Series while Joe Green got his arse handed to him in a sack by a group of rival soccer supporters.

Green, a Norwich City supporter, attends home matches in a Green Man costume. He might want to reconsider after getting a beatdown at the hands of Nottingham Forest fans following their draw with Norwich on August 28th.

Teenager Joe Green was left with a suspected broken nose and cuts and bruises to his face after being punched and elbowed in the moments after Saturday’s game away at Nottingham Forest.

The attack came after the 16-year-old, dressed in a bright green “morph” suit, had enjoyed what he thought was friendly banter with opposition fans during Norwich’s 1-1 draw.

He said: “It was all a bit light hearted and then all of a sudden they started making slit your throat signs and I thought I would leave it.”

“…A club steward then intervened by firstly having a word with the Forest fans responsible and then with him.

The life-long City supporter said he then tried to ignore the fans who had made gestures towards him throughout the second half before trying to make sure he avoided them on leaving the ground.

That didn’t work out so well for Green who came out of the incident bloodied and bruised. He intends to keep wearing the bodysuit to matches. He should sit down and watch a few episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It never works out for Green Man on TV either.

Do I need to make a stolen car joke as well? We’ll be here all week.