Monday, March 12th, 2012 at
Old and busted: Shark tank with grotto in your backyard.
New hotness: Four story indoor fish tank in your house.
Remember when Michael Jordan told Magic Johnson and Larry Bird that their time was up? Here’s the fish tank version of that story. Thierry Henry is demolishing his $9.3 million house to build a larger one in its place. Is everyone taking their cues from Elin Woods these days? The newly reconstructed house is estimated to be worth $15.7 million upon completion. It will have all the usual amenities one would expect from an abode at that price. However the crown jewel will be an indoor, four story fish tank.
It will cost Henry almost $20,000 just to maintain the tank. He’d be better off hiring Manuel Almunia to be his tank boy while he’s in the US playing for the Red Bulls.
Resident jackass and Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland has a smaller tank but he’s still keeping the dream alive of building a shark tank under his kitchen floor. Both of these pools should belong to super villains. What better than to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentations of the women and see them floating lifeless in your home? No better lesson to visitors of what will happen if they cross you. It’s probably safe to say Roman Abramovich has something like that on his yacht.
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012 at
Antonio Cromartie and Travis Henry better watch out. Michael Turner’s coming at them with a vengeance. Roger Goodell and Peter King can check their fake indignation. No bounties are involved unless one counts child support.
Police were called to Turner’s house after his current girlfriend attacked his baby mama with a move that would have made Elin Woods proud.
According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, [Rasheeda] Walker claims she has 2 children with Turner and is “upset because he refuses to see them.” She also claims she’s pregnant with Turner’s 3rd child and wanted to talk to him about the situation.
Walker told cops she knocked on the front door … only to be ambushed by Turner’s new GF Elizabeth Delacruz … who was wielding a golf club and shouting, “YOU AT MY HOUSE NOW B*TCH.”
Walker claims she grabbed the golf club away from Delacruz and the two began to fight … until 5’10″, 244-pound Turner came outside and broke the whole thing up.
What’s the lesson here? Never go out with a shapeshifter. Delacruz went from Elin Woods to Brenda Richie just like that. She’s like a female Manimal. Whoa.
One has to appreciate Turner’s delegation of authority among his women. You strictly for the baby making and you for the sexin’. Never the twain shall meet unless it’s in the front yard and a battle to the death. Perhaps he should consider constructing a Thunderdome in the front yard for times like these. No need for law enforcement as what happens in Thunderdome stays in Thunderdome.
Hats off as well to the Avoid the Shorties strategy. Not seeing the kids means not having to remember their names or naming them the same thing.