Sorry, it’s not Battleship. The NCAA doesn’t deal with that club mess. Don’t get excited. It’s not going to be a football game. They’re talkin’ basketball.
North Carolina will play Michigan State on an aircraft carrier if the two schools are able to work out a deal. The game would take place on Veterans’ Day. Roy Williams mentioned the possibility on his radio show earlier this week. Officials from both schools admitted that negotiations are taking place between them as well as “the US government and a promoter”. Let’s pray that the promoter is Don King.
Fuck your couch and tennis court. This is a brilliant idea. I see two possible scenarios. Both have some collateral damages but my goodness, the tension and excitement for the rest of us.
They’ll probably hold flights off during the game so there’s little chance of players getting nailed by incoming or departing aircraft. The more likely case would probably involve a player diving for a ball and falling off the flight deck. They might catch some net or hit the water where they’re swarmed by great whites. Sharks, not Thomas Jefferson or Winston Churchill. It’ll be just like playing at Vanderbilt. You know you watch a Commodores game hoping to see something like that happen (minus the sharks…unless they can make that happen). Then again it’s a large assumption that you watch Vanderbilt basketball unless they’re playing your team or you went there.
The more ideal scenario involves an Under Siege type situation breaking out. Everyone’s distracted and getting ready for the event. It’s a big time basketball game instead of some Cher type singer. You know, something non-gay sailors would get excited about. I refuse to believe any crew in any navy would get that pumped if Cher performed live on their ship. Maybe if they were stranded at sea for three years. Sorry, I digress.
In the commotion, a group of bad guys sneaks on board and manages to take control of the ship. Obviously a disgruntled ex-officer who was dishonorably discharged at the least. It’s up to some Steven Segal type and a MSU player to rally and save the rest of the crew and spectators. Maybe that’s more Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (good to see Morris Chesnut working again). I suppose Tom Izzo should be in the party. He shows some old skills, kills one of the bad guys and saves the rest of the crew who are locked up in a hold. No way Roy Williams makes it. He chokes way too much to survive the whole thing. A pipe will fall on his head just when he thinks he’s made it out or something like that.
Final fight scene? You know it’s a knife fight on the bridge.
Playing a basketball game on an aircraft carrier is a great idea. No doubt but why stop there. There’s so much potential to make it even better. Let’s hope UNC and MSU get this done.
Bobby Knight instilled hustle in his Indiana players by chair or slap. Look at former IU basketball radio analyst Todd Leary hustle for that ball. He didn’t want to feel the wrath of Knight. He’s one of those players that took lessons learned on the hardwood and applied them to life.
According to a probable cause affidavit, Leary paid two other men to move refrigerators and other appliances out of foreclosed homes and then sold them to an Indianapolis appliance store. When investigators questioned Leary, he allegedly told them that he worked for a company that bought, repaired and then resold foreclosed homes. Leary told police that he picked the homes off an auction listing on the Hamilton County sheriff’s website. But the sheriff’s department denied ever selling any homes to any such company or to Leary, and the homes that were burglarized were tracked to other owners.
Did we mention that he was arrested in February of this year for “misappropriating” almost $1,000,000 from a mortgage company where he was employed? He’s facing up to three years in jail per a plea agreement. The best thing about the February arrest was that it happened at Assembly Hall right before he was supposed to go on air to cover the Purdue-Indiana game.
Leary didn’t waste any time getting back into the groove. That’s the type of hustlin’ that would make Rick Ross proud. Well maybe the annoying homeless guy who tried to sell us an old Playstation and an ankle bracelet on Ludlow St. the other night. Really, homey? I rock Colecovision but I’ll definitely take the bracelet for my friend…yeah my friend.
If Leary hears “Hoosier Daddy” in the prison shower, he better hustle out of there or he’s in big trouble.
My brackets look worse than Tara Reid’s stomach. I picked Northern Iowa to beat Kansas in one pool but I picked Villanova to win it all. My other one looks like Detroit after Devil’s Night. What’s that? Good point. It’s the same every other night.
It’s great to see so many upsets this year despite what they mean to my chances of winning anything. The downside is that Duke has an easy path to the Final Four. There’s no point in expressing the level of my dislike for Duke basketball because I know there are thousands out there who share the same feeling. However I came across a Duke-related press release today that brought a smirk to my face. Coach K is getting in the app business.
DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA, MARCH 23, 2010- An iPhone App featuring legendary basketball Coach Mike Krzyzewski was launched today in the App Store and www.coachkapp.com. The Coach K App utilizes innovative multi-touch controls that immerse the player into an exciting series of races against multiple artificial intelligence opponents. The game includes three levels of competition with stops in New York City, China and Durham, North Carolina, home to Coach K’s Duke Blue Devils.
Coach K provides personalized “coaching tips” to maneuver players through a series of dynamic obstacles which come to life through trend-setting graphics. Players also have the ability to customize their avatars. Players will be challenged to dodge taxicabs and street vendors, while racing through the streets of New York; avoid dragons and panda bears while speeding along the Great Wall of China; and sprint around campus while avoiding the notorious Cameron Crazies and other obstacles. The game climaxes in an intense head-to-head shooting competition against another player over Bluetooth.
The app costs $2.99 although the first level can be downloaded for free. There is a catch. Everyone won’t have access to the game. In order to maintain a level of reality, access will only be allowed to goofy white guys and black people from Alaska. Bam! I’ll be here all week.
Monday, March 22nd, 2010 at
Kill some time at work and read this Slate takedown of Kentucky’s John Calipari. Most of these incidents won’t be a surprise to anyone that follows college basketball. Kentucky fans better enjoy the run while it lasts because he’s going to leave a shit show in his wake when he takes off in the middle of the night like a Mayflower moving truck. Oh what’s this? Memphis required to vacate its entire 2007-2008 season. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Kansas are who we should have thought they were. It’s hard to feel sorry for the Jayhawks. I have nothing specific against them but I get sincere pleasure out of watching them lose in the tournament every year. It was especially enjoyable to watch them fold against Northern Iowa this past weekend. I thought Roy Williams was back in the hot seat until I saw Bill Self standing by the bench. Bill, you are my son.
Let’s give credit where it’s due and congratulate the Panthers on their massive victory. Hopefully they got their sex panther on when they returned to Cedar Falls. Ali Farokhmanesh will be the face of their improbable tournament run but little has been made of the mythical monster taking up space in the middle. Sasquatch, also known as Jordan Eglseder, made quick work of Cole Aldrich down low. Michigan State better bring Hogzilla or the Chupacabra if they intend to stop the Panthers from making the Elite Eight.
Unfortunately the Spartans might have to rely on a kid named Lucious. He ripped out Maryland’s heart Temple of Doom-style and prevented Route 1 from turning into white Mogadishu for a night. However he’ll have his work cut out for him as his team is limping into the Sweet 16 with a plethora (plethora) of injuries.
“We’re going to need everybody we have in uniform to step up,” [Michigan State head coach Tom] Izzo said. “There were times we had two walk-ons, a freshman and a sophomore on the court Sunday and that probably won’t be the last time in the tournament. Northern Iowa is good, but thank God they’re not a team that presses like Maryland.”
Those could be famous last words. Ask Kansas about UNI’s defense. Don’t make the Sasquatch angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.