Remember that Coors Light ad?  Well you won’t see any more like it, at least you wont see one with any sort of NFL branding on them because Anheuser-Busch owners InBev just locked down the official beer of the NFL rights for a cool $1.2 billion.  Say that with me, $1.2 billion dollars.  If there is ever a deal that is good and bad for the owners, its this one.  How on earth can they claim poverty come negotiation time with the NFLPA when they signed this mega deal and this is just one of their many “official” sponsors?

In this down economy, the new beer sponsorship will, according to the St. Louis Business Journal, pay the league $42 million in the first  year and increase to $50 million by the end of the 6 year deal.  Currently, they are being paid $3o million a year.  That’s a pretty nice raise, yes/no?

Budweiser used to be the official beer of the NFL but they’ve never had as much exclusivity as they currently have.  Right now, Budweiser is the official beer of 28 NFL teams, the exclusive beer of the NFL and the exclusive beer of the Super Bowl including the logos that go along with it.  As great as that is for Budweiser, I think it might not be the best for the fans.  Not because we need to see a variety of beer commercials, no, who cares about commercials really, that is just the point of the game where I run to the bathroom or check my fantasy team.  No, the most troubling thing about the deal is that we still probably won’t see another Bud Bowl since it was created because Bud didn’t have the Super Bowl logo rights at the time.  Now they have them and I am sad.  I still want more Bud Bowls.  That is good Super Bowl commercial gambling entertainment there.

I mean, this is about 10 times better than any of those coaches commercials, right?

This is the Clicker remote control and look closely at it.  See it?  That bit of chrome that you see on the side of the remote is a bottle opener.  Yes, someone out there has transformed our beloved remote, the shining beacon of lazy, greasy finger-chip eating, sports loving, couch potatoes everywhere…and turned it into something that can open our beers as well.  Why has no one ever thought of this and why do I not have one by my side RIGHT NOW?

This bit of inspired genius has opened up my eyes into the power that a remote control could have.  I mean, why stop at a bottle opener in the side?  There isn’t much in the way of electronics inside a remote control, why not turn the whole dammed thing into the lazy man’s swiss army knife type remote control?   Have the bottle opener, toothpick, nail clippers, scissors, spork, can opener, flashlight…THERE IS NO STOPPING SUPER CONTROLLER!

Someone please make this, send me one and credit me for your idea.  Oh, and please send me a Clicker while you’re at it.  I want it.