balotellibounce

Barcelona wore those away kits that made them look like walking cans of Five Alive against AC Milan and played accordingly. They return home down two goals after a stunning defeat at the San Siro earlier today. Mario Balotelli, Robinho and the rest of their crew sent them on their way with their impression of an early 90s hip hop video. I’d love to know what that girl said to them. I’m guessing the Italian equivalent of “Y’all gettin’ some tonight”. Commence bouncing with joy.

H/T to Footy Memes

The last time the Deuce took a sabbatical, Dolph Lundgren welcomed you back. It’s been over half a year since we last posted and we know you’ve been jonesing for some of the good shit. Well we’re back, lady and gentlemen. So without any further ado, we’ll let Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Pep Guardiola do the honors this time.

Sorry for the long absence but we needed to take some time off for life but luckily some of us realize that writing a half-ass blog is more fulfilling and time-wasting than “responsible” pursuits. Hopefully we’ll get back to posting on a semi-regular basis this week.

And as always your musical reference: I Know You Got Soul by Eric B and Rakim. Bonus Eric B for President!

Lionel Messi may not line the ladies up against a wall, ask for 40 condoms and go to work like Robinho but that’s cool. He doesn’t need to go through all that cause he can make the pants drop like a Jedi knight.

What’s more embarrassing? A grown ass man chasing a kid half his age around an airport for some love or that his pants drop while he’s doing it?

So that’s how Real Madrid felt when Barca whupped them 5-0 earlier this season.

There’s no question that Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney is having the season of his career. However anyone who tries to claim that he’s in better form than Barcelona’s Lionel Messi needs to put down the pipe and step back from Max Wright. The boy is the truth.

Messi scored a hat trick against Real Zaragoza on Sunday to put himself at eight goals in the past three games. That’s right. He scored three against Valencia last weekend and another two mid-week. He may be scoring too much. He actually gave a teammate a penalty kick as if it was spare change.

Two hat tricks in one week is good enough but he had to go and pull this for his second goal yesterday.

Oh no, he didn’t. Yes he did. That’s some straight Maradona right there minus the Colombian marching powder.

If you’re interested in watching match highlights including the hat trick, click here. Cristiano Ronaldo should sit his pouting ass down and watch how a real professional gets it done.