So yesterday, good friend and fellow Deuce of Davenporter Turd Ferguson posted this. And while I respect his opinion on many, many sports-related matters, I have to take him to task on what he wrote about my beloved Major League Baseball. If his article appeared on any other respected website, I’d do the same. So Turd, no hard feelings. Read the rest of this entry
I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I read the report Wednesday afternoon indicating you were looking at a possible suspension (or banishment) from Major League Baseball because of your involvement in illegal high-stakes poker games. Much like the rest of the choices you’ve made throughout your career, it was something only an arrogant, inconsiderate, and selfish player would do: the type of player you’ve personified since you entered the league almost 20 years ago. Read the rest of this entry
There aren’t many movies that inspire me enough to check them out in the theater; mainly because it means being surrounded by people who will inevitably annoy me. The best time to see a movie, ever, is during a weekday. The theater is almost always empty and quiet and glorious.
Anyway, for some odd reason, “Inception” sparked my interest, so I bought into the hype and saw it. I try not to get too emotional about these things, but wanted to make a few salient points about the film:
- I don’t get the attraction to Ellen Page: she always sounds condescending. That makes her look like a stuck-up nerd, which also makes me think she is like this in real-life. It doesn’t help that they continually dress her as a hipster doofus.
- Leo DiCaprio is a dude I wouldn’t mind switching places with for a little while.
- “It’s got Tom Berenger in it!”
- I think the guy that played “Arthur” was pretty good, but everytime I see him onscreen I think of that “3rd Rock from the Sun” show, which makes me think of French Stewart, which makes me think of this:
- If I had to sum up this movie in a few words, I’d say: “Sci-Fi Oceans 11 with a touch of Donnie Darko.”
Overall, it’s a good movie, I recommend. Keep in mind I also once recommended “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and got laughed at, so take that for what it’s worth. Mel Brooks is a genius. On to the headlines:
- Major League Baseball announced it will expand its drug-testing program by implementing a blood test to test for human growth hormone among Minor League Baseball Players.
Hey, only ten years too late! Results are mixed as to the true effect of HGH on an athlete’s body, so I’m not sure if unilaterally imposing random blood tests on a bunch of kids is really the right way to go. Although I guess you forfeit your privacy rights and labor protections when you dedicate your body to the Montgomery Biscuits.
- The President of the Minnesota Timberwolves said Michael Beasley’s immaturity issues were related to using “too much marijuana.”
Speaking of drug tests… I don’t blame Beasley; I’d probably have to use a lot of marijuana just to get through an NBA season, and I’m not even playing. And now you know how Ric Bucher does it.
- Fanfare during Alex Rodriguez’s approach of 600 career homeruns has been minimal.
A-Rod has a number of things going against him in the world of public appeal: he plays on the most hated team in baseball surrounded by superstars, he’s not playing particularly well (for his standards), he admitted he used steroids, he did that stupid photo shoot where he kissed his reflection, and he’s not going anywhere for awhile: he may be 35, but he still has SEVEN years left on his contract. With Bonds, aside from all of the crap, you knew he was playing season-to-season. Same thing with Griffey. But Rod’s contract guarantees he’ll be hobbling after Derek Jeter for at least a few more years. Don’t feel sorry for him, though: he’s still going home to Cameron Diaz and enough cash to buy the Rangers and make Nolan Ryan his personal Costanza.
- Former Florida Gators standout Maurkice Pouncey denied allegations that he took money from a sports agent while he was still in school.
Later that day, allegations arose that Tim Tebow had extra help during last season’s Bible Study. The state of Florida was so moved, they built a statue of Tim praying to learn how to throw a spiral.
- Hornets point guard Chris Paul reportedly wants out of New Orleans.
It seems Chris Paul would like his own triumvirate of stars to help shoulder the load of winning a championship. This is problematic because a) only one team can win in a given year, and b) it makes NBA players look like babies. I think there are a lot of lessons to be learned from the marketing world of WWE and here’s another one: if you’re a rising star in the NBA, I would examine this model of behavior and crush it. Seriously, if I’m Deron Williams or Carmelo Anthony, I’d call out all of these guys for being afraid of being “the man” and taking a team on by themselves. You know all the old guys agree with you, so they’d have your back. All of that publicity and marketing money would just underscore the fact that you’re the new Alpha Dog. Everyone, and I mean everyone, would be pulling for you. Classic David v. Goliath situation.
And that’s the extent of my NBA commentary for the next four months. I’m out of here for the week, everyone have a good weekend. If you need me, I’ll be out trying to do something as awesome as this.
When you think about it, televised amateur drafts are really just free-for-alls for pea-brained analysts utilizing their worst skill: extemporaneous speaking. I’ve had a fair amount of extemporaneous speaking experience in my life and I realize its hard, but people that have been doing it for as long as Stuart Scott and Chris Berman just shouldn’t be this bad at it (it also probably helped that my coach was and is the Red Auerbach in our metro area, but I digress).
In any case, the NFL draft also reignites the internal struggle “Childhood Duke” has with “Adult Duke:” will I ever buy another jersey again? Growing up, wearing jerseys was pretty awesome: they were as close to the field as kids could get. Aside from wearing your hero’s colors, they also made a sweet fashion statement in 5th grade. And while I eventually grew out of them, there’s a part of me that would still like to wear one, even if it’s just to a sporting event. Yet, somehow, I just can’t bring myself to do it. As Shawn Carter stated, “And I don’t wear jerseys, I’m thirty-plus…” Never thought I’d be taking inspiration from Jay-Z, but oh well. On to some headlines…
- The St. Louis Rams selected Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford with the first pick in the 2010 NFL Draft.
Sam Bradford won the Heisman Trophy in 2008. He threw 67 passes in 2009. There are many reports that suggest he will be guaranteed $50M before he throws one in 2010. And people think the economics in baseball are messed up. Right…
- The Denver Broncos traded picks for three hours in order to draft WR Demaryius Thomas and QB Tim Tebow.
Basically, the Denver Broncos played grabass with 31 other teams in order to pass on the consensus top receiver and #2 and #3-rated QBs. Josh McDaniels, I know Bill Belichick, and you sir, are no Bill Belichick. Bill doesn’t use draft picks. I also can’t wait for more sanctimonious pieces of crap like this, where we can be admonished for doubting the sainted Tim. By the way, Jon Gruden, what did you think?
- A-Rod angered Dallas Braden when he stepped on the pitcher’s mound on his way back to first base.
“He just told me to get off his mound,” Rodriguez said. “That was a little surprising. I’ve never quite heard that. Especially from a guy that has a handful of wins in his career.”
And I think that just about ends that argument. “Phoenix,” you just got owned by this guy.
- David Stern issued a warning to coaches to quit griping over referees.
- The NHL Playoffs have reverted back to form as Pittsburgh and Washington are on the verge of winning their first round series.