Another season, another John Terry knockout. This one took place last night in Chelsea’s Champions League match against Porto. The magic spray mostly everything but knockouts too? Would they rub Tussin on his head if the spray didn’t work? Maybe they should have used some leeches while they were at it. Hopefully this isn’t the Milan lab at work.
It’s hard to argue with the contention that Antonio Pitalua’s devastating knockout of Jose Reyes (Sorry, not the Met) is probably the best of the year.
I jumped out of my chair and yelled “Oh my god!” when Pitalua connected with what used to be Reyes’ jaw. As Smokey would say, Reyes got knocked the fuck out. If there’s a better knockout making the rounds, we’d like to see it.
It seems like only yesterday that Suge Knight was hanging Vanilla Ice off hotel balconies. These days, he likes to spend his time getting knocked the fuck out.
“I sent a person off for violent conduct and he’s taken exception to that. He didn’t like it. I showed the red card, turned away and suddenly ‘bump’ I am on the floor.”
Bump? More like you got knocked the fuck out. Referee Andy Parker got way more than he bargained for when he sent St. Andrews FC midfielder Joey Bar..I mean Joe Preston off with a red card. Preston left the field only to come back on and knock Parker unconscious with a punch that broke his jaw.
Preston was suspended by the local FA branch and the police are looking into the incident.
St Andrews joint manager Darren Bradley said: “We don’t condone Joe’s actions and he will never play for the club again after this, but he is completely gutted and he can’t believe what he did.
“I think the whole place was stunned. The lad was genuinely distraught.
“He’s had a lot of pressure on his mind. What I do know is that he’s taken himself to the doctor to get help with anger management.”
Pressure on his mind? It’s not David Bowie’s best song but it’s certainly not his worst. It’s definitely not bad enough to make one resort to violence. Now Live and the Barenaked Ladies will make a man go berzerker.
Preston, to his credit if you can say that, gave an apology that would make Michael Vick proud.
“The referee didn’t deserve what happened to him. I had no right to do what I did. I am writing him a letter apologising for my action.
“I don’t think I could tell him face to face, as I am ashamed of myself. He was just doing his job and I was completely out of order.”
Woof woof. I bet Preston didn’t grab Parker’s hair when he punched him. That’s for bitch ass Patriots.
