Sensitive thugs, y’all need hugs.

Professional athletes should be commended for not running to rehab like politicians or actors when they get caught acting a fool. The offender’s team or agent writes an apology that the player couldn’t have written and everyone moves on besides the victim(s). Just ask Leonard Little and Chris Henry who made a “complete 360″. Someone should have explained this to French rugby player Mathieu Bastareaud before he checked himself into Le Looney Bin.

Bastareaud claimed that he was jumped and punched by five men while returning to his hotel after France played New Zealand in a test match last week. Not quite. You see what had really happened was he hit his head on a table after drinking too much. Want to try that again? It turns out he was acting a fool and one of his teammates settled him down by laying him out.

“Drunk and aggressive, Bastareaud was reportedly calmed down by a fist from one of his teammates,” the daily Le Parisien reported.

Bastareaud admittted lying about the incident. He thought he could cover up the truth but that didn’t work out so well. Instead of ending the situation with an apology and cover up from French rugby officials, he decided to check himself into a mental hospital for two weeks after suffering “serious psychological problems”. Stade Francais president Max Guazzini said the media pressure became too much for the player to take.

Maybe we’re being too hard on the kid. He is the cousin of Arsenal and France defender William Gallas who everyone agrees is batshit crazy. It’s not his fault. It’s in the blood.

One more post for today before I leave my mom’s basement. We forgot to post the full version of Nike’s “The Next Level” commercial featuring more Nike-sponsored footballers than you can shake a stick at. I guess Guy Ritchie had to find something to do while his wife fights the Malawian authorities, freaks Justin Timberlake and pretends to kiss underage girls.

1. I thought I spotted a John Terry lookalike around :43. I doubt it because Chelsea’s sponsored by Adidas.

2. Madonna should leave more often.

Here’s a preview of Guy Ritchie’s new Nike Football commercial which will be shown in its entirety during today’s Champions League match between Manchester United and Barcelona. It features Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cesc Fabregas, William “Wah” Gallas, Marco Materazzi, and Arsene Wenger. Ronaldinho, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ruud Van Horseyface also appear in the ad.