Watching the Wizards lose away to the Knicks last Tuesday surrounded by Knicks fans was bad enough. I was abused worse than Mr. Horton on Dudley about the Wizards’ uniforms. You know, they were right. Seriously, what the hell is going on with these uniforms?
Who designed these uniforms? Whoever did it should be held criminally responsible. They make the Wizards look like a flamboyant Globetrotters opponent. Why don’t they come out to the Pet Shop Boys’ “New York City Boy“? Maybe they can change it to “Chocolate City Boy” to hold DC down. If that doesn’t work, What Is Love is a solid fallback.
The way I see it there are three suspects: some daughter/granddaughter of Abe Pollin, some Project Runway reject and Mase.
The daughter of a senile, rich old man would have the ability to create something so gaudy. Pollin changed the name of the team from Bullets to Wizards so we know he’s soft. A large cry rose and was instantly silenced in PG County when that happened. “Daddy, I don’t like the uniforms. Can I make new ones?? I’ll make them shiny and put lots of stars! Yay cookies!”
Some girl gave me the idea about Project Runway cause you know I don’t watch that. Please believe me! Apparently the contestants have no idea how to make men’s clothes. When they do, it’s usually a disaster like when they tried to make a suit for Tiki Barber. I wouldn’t know. You believe me, right?
My money’s on one Mr. Mason Betha. How can you watch this and not figure that he had a hand in this debacle? Shiny clothes. Check. Cheesedick. Check. He has to be a prime suspect. You could easily see him rocking this uniform in a Bad Boy video. However it’s rumored that he’s now down with the G-Unit and I can’t imagine Fiddy tolerating nonsense like this. The only way shiny and basketball work together (without jewelry or grills) is when the shine is on a platinum tank.
There’s only one solution to this. Go back to Les Boulez stat. Bring back the red uniforms. Bring back the red, white and blue uniforms. Bring back the memories of John “Hot Plate” Williams, Never Nervous Pervis and Maunte Bol.
The new Jordan XX3′s are set to be released this month and what is going on with that pattern on these shoes? They look like they have one of those “3-D” image posters that you’re supposed to stare at for an hour while somehow relaxing your eyes just to see a lame T-Rex jumping out at you on em. Truthfully, I don’t know anyone who actually wears the Jordan brand of shoe anymore. Long gone are the days when kids were skipping school and lining up at the store to get the new Jordan’s for the year. At this point, these shoes are for the collectors and completionists out there that have the other 22 Air Jordans that Michael Jordan and Nike have made over the years.
Who really wants to wear a sneaker of a recently divorced, womanizing, deadbeat father, front office mismanaging, shell of an athlete with a massive gambling addiction who hasn’t played a game in 5 years where when he did play SUCKED HORRIBLY AND WAS RUN OUT OF TOWN? Anyone? Anyone? I don’t see anyone lining up for the new Isiah Thomas’ or the new Billy King’s showing up at Foot Locker anywhere so why is there another Jordan shoe?
Also, who in their right mind would drop $230 dollars ($185 dollars for the national release edition) on a sneaker and then actually wear it anyway? I just dropped $65 bucks on an $85 running shoe at DSW and I am afraid to wear those outside because I cannot imagine the horror of running down their treads let alone a scuff or tear on those suckers.
Nike needs to stop, they’ve exploited Jordan’s name long enough to finally make his 23rd edition of the shoe brand. Let’s hope its the last…and someone bring back British Knights while we’re at it, their commercials were dope.
Kevin Durant is finally coming back to his home, the DC Metro Area, and is throwing a party for his return. The Sonics play the Wizards at the phone booth on Sunday January 6th and the party is on Friday night so this gives young mister Durant plenty of time to recuperate after imbibing all night long. Wait, Kevin Durant was born in September of 1988…this means he cannot even drink legally in this club? This means he can just dance and eat?? We must get pictures of him boozing it up, we’ll give away a random box of poop to someone who gets us some photos.
If you didn’t see it on the post twice already, “LADIES ARE FREE ALL NIGHT”, which means this party is one huge sausage fest waiting to happen. You know its gonna be packed with dudes from 9-11, eating that complimentary buffet and waiting for the “hordes” of women who are supposed to show up.
Remember, the Deuce is sadly going to be busy this evening so if anyone can get us photos of this event, we’ve got prizes to send to you. Well, a prize, a random box of poop we’ll call it. Just make sure they’re good photos.
His Airness had a good crossover as a player, now Michael Jordan is crossing over his restaurant enterprise into a new venture. Jordan started up a Mexican restaurant around a month ago named SolToro. We all know about Michael’s steakhouse in NYC, as well as his ill fated Jordan’s in DC and Restaurant in Chi-town, but now MJ has ventured into uncharted territories with some classy Mexican food in the ever popular Mohegan Sun casino to go along with his sportsbar and steakhouse in the same building…and we have the video of the opening. Check it out.
What better to open the restaurant with some classy A list celebrities like Ahmad Rashad! How “classy” is Jordan here showing up in jeans with a cranberry red sport coat, the man is worth like a half a million dollars, he couldn’t do better than that? I also love that a casino that has 3 Jordan restaurants is the Mohegan Sun and not any Vegas casino or even an Atlantic City one, but an Indian casino in Connecticut that is really known best (and possibly only) for their large poker room. When asked why he put another restaurant here his answer was “Why not?”, well i guess that is as good a reason as any.
The over/under on total wins for the Washington Wizards is 40 games. FOURTY GAMES?? You kidding me? How is a team that finished 42-40 in the 2005-06 season and 41-41 last season (with a TON of injuries) predicted to win less than 40 games? Gilbert, Caron and Antawn must be licking their chops if they know about this…and if I had access to an online gambling site I would be too. While we’re here, here is one homer’s look at the Wizards roster for the year. I dont see how this team doesnt win 41 games…maybe because its all offense and no defense, i dunno.
G. Arenas – Easily one of the top 5 scorers in the league A. Blatche – Finally figuring it all out, very talented all around player C. Butler – Easily one of the top 40 players in the league A. Daniels – Quality veteran bench player B. Haywood – Needs to produce more with Etan out A. Jamison – Getting old, but just shoots more and more from outside R. Mason - Young bench scoring, not much else D. McGuire - Rookie unknown, could be an great defender O. Pecherov - Essentially a rookie, can score and rebound off bench D.Songaila – Experienced scorer, good size and outside shot D. Stevenson – Experienced defender, can score when he gets the chance E.Thomas – Done for the year with bad heart N. Young - Rookie, but can score in bunches, will be big off bench