Someone better keep an eye on Tommy Tuberville. He already walked out on dinner and now he’s not returning calls. Look, Cincinnati. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but he’s probably cheating on you already and yes, she’s way hotter and lets him eat 5-way chili off her naked body anywhere on demand.

Current Bearcat recruits are already upset over the way Tuberville is handling himself when it comes to commitments. Demetrius Monday decommitted from Cincinnati after getting the Heisman from the coach and his staff.

Pebblebrook High School defensive back Demetrius Monday de-committed from Cincinnati on Thursday after never hearing from new coach Tommy Tuberville.

“I think it’s messed up,” his father, Bryant Monday, told the AJC. “You wait until a few weeks before signing day to say something? They could have told us a month ago.

“Now we’re left with less than a month until signing day to figure something out. He had other scholarship offers but he hasn’t talked to those coaches in six months … since he committed to Cincinnati on July 25.

Monday’s father said Tuberville and his staff wouldn’t return their calls and is trying to get kids to “de-commit on their own”.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution also reports that Jaleel Carter followed suit after getting the Tuberville treatment.

“They said they were bringing in their own guys, so all the guys that are committed are out luck.” Canty requested a conversation with Tuberville. “They said he was busy, trying to get his staff together.”

Tommy Boy’s break-up style is gangsta. Tuberville made news when he walked out on potential recruits during dinner in order to take the Cincinnati job. That’s just the kind of guy Bearcat fans should want to take over after Brian Kelly’s controversial exit to take the Notre Dame job. At least he told his players he was leaving at dinner even if he previously lied to them.

Carter cut off communication with other schools that were interested in him and there’s less than a month left until signing day as he noted. The kids Tuberville is screwing over are pretty much stuck as schools come closer to filling their recruiting needs if they aren’t complete by this time. This should be a harsh lesson to them and others who get the shaft from major programs. Things don’t get much better even when you report to campus as a student-athlete. Prepare for disappointment unless someone gives you a name as strong as Johnny Football. It doesn’t count if you name yourself.

On the other hand, you’re rolling as a head coach. You can walk out on the restaurant check, show up at the new place and clean house without remorse or repercussions. Tuberville should be getting a note from Bobby Petrino complementing him on his style any day now. Congratulations on hiring a guy who has no problem smacking his bitches up, Cincinnati.

At least we’ll always have this:

The Deuce has tried to stay away from offering up fantasy football advice to the masses…mostly because we do not want to help out or tip our hand to our fellow fantasy leaguers we’re drafting against. In this case, we must share. University of Cincinnati professor Michael Fry (in the center of the picture) along with his students have studied and analyzed fantasy football drafts so much, they wrote a paper on it that was published in the Journal of Quantitative Analysis in Sports. What they found might change the way you look at the draft forever.

Fry Says:

1. A traditional maxim in fantasy football is to draft two running backs in the first two rounds because RBs are seen as being the most valuable. However, this year our model generally recommends against this strategy. There are only a few (really two) sure-fire RBs and then a deep crop of 2nd-tier RBs. Thus, our model often recommends taking a RB first, then taking a top QB or WR next and coming back for your 2nd RB later.

2. It can often be a good decision to draft one of the top defenses (generally the Chicago Bears or Baltimore Ravens) earlier than most people would suggest. If you miss out on these top defenses, then you might as well wait until the very end of the draft as there is too much uncertainty in how other defenses will perform. The same is often true for kickers.

3. But the main point is that if you feed garbage into the model, you get garbage out. If you are convinced, for whatever misguided reason, that the Cleveland Browns QB (whoever that turns out to be) is going to be a star and you rank him first, then guess what, the model is going to tell you to draft him very high.

So there you have it, don’t do what everyone else is doing by drafing all RBs…go against the grain and get your top QB and WR picking up your 2nd RB later. Then, shoot for a defense earlier than everyone else and lock down one of the top two. Seems so easy doesn’t it? You only have yourself to blame now if you lose you dumb bastards.

The best line I’ve saved for last. Fry goes on:

“It amounts to this: you have a set of choices that people can make. They all want the best player available and sometimes people just go for that player, regardless of what they really need. All you really want to know — in fantasy and in real drafts — is what set of players is not going to be available when your turn comes up.”

That is some deep shit right there. My pants are getting tight from the excitement. Sunday, I am dominating my draft. Mr. Fry could be a true American hero…unless I finish dead last again. Then I’m coming after this braniac bitch.

From Univ. of Cincinnati News