The list of Australian people and animals I’m willing to fight keeps getting smaller by the minute. If you go on the YouTubes, you can find video of every native Australian species fighting from koalas to wallabies. Getting punched by one wallaby while the other tries to proper fuck you? No thanks. I’ll pass. Maybe I’d consider a wombat reacharound but that’s it. My last hope was the children in spite of watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. So much for that.

An under-16 rugby league grand final ended in a massive brawl. The game between Blacktown City and Lower Mountains ended in chaos when several fights broke out between the teams. The worst left one player with a broken eye socket and nose.

“About 11am (AEST) … the under 16s match in Penrith stadium was almost finished when, after a try was scored, it’s alleged numerous players set upon a member of the opposition,” police said in a statement.

“This resulted in players from both sides involved in various incidents.”

The footage shows one teenager being punched to the ground before he is repeatedly kicked in the head and body, one of his attackers then running to another nearby scuffle to throw more punches.

Footage of the fight can be seen here. Needless to say, severe penalties were handed out. One Blacktown City player was banned from playing rugby for 20 years. His teammate was banned for five years while another is finished for two. Reports have some Blacktown City parents high-fiving their children as they came off the field.

In case you think this is an isolated incident involving Blacktown City, check this:

The brawl is the third violent incident involving teams from the Blacktown City junior rugby league club this season.

In July, two men were charged after an assault in a carpark following an under-12s game.

A Blacktown supporter also allegedly grabbed a 13-year-old player from Katoomba on the neck on the same weekend.

How have no Blacktown players or supporters been sentenced to a booting? Anarchy I tells ya.

It’s unbelievable that Ozzie Guillen would come this far only to let evil win now. Of course, we’re talking about the evil that is Jay Mariotti. The terrorists will win if Guillen follows through on his threat to leave town.

Guillen will exile himself from Bartertown otherwise known as Chicago if the White Sox don’t make the playoffs.

“If we lose this thing, I’m going to ask [Chairman] Jerry Reinsdorf to give me the private plane,” Guillen said Saturday.

“I don’t have the guts to look at the people’s faces in O’Hare Airport or Midway after this season.

“Then I won’t have to see anyone in the airport and feel embarrassed or disappointed. I can get to Miami, where nobody really knows the White Sox. I will be embarrassed and I will be disappointed about seeing the people in the airport, seeing their faces, because we let them down.”

Miami really is the equivalent to the gulag or desert wasteland when it comes to sports. Maybe Ozzie was thinking of Cuba Jr. when he smashed pictures in his office after Friday’s loss. Carlos Quentin decided he wanted to smash too. Too bad he ended his season prematurely when he broke his wrist after “accidentally slamming his right wrist on the top of his bat after fouling off a pitch”.

Ozzie also discussed White Sox fans showing their displeasure on Friday and Saturday by booing the team.

“Sometimes when I hear those things I say, ‘I wish [I was] in Caracas (Venezuela) right now,’ because then my boys would be right behind [me]. But I don’t blame them.

Maybe he should bring his boys to Chicago. If anyone gives him shit in O’Hare or Midway, his boys could get all Chavista and beat that ass like James Joyce on a red-headed stepchild.**

**Do people even saying that anymore? What’s so bad about a red-headed stepchild? I could understand if it was that annoying red-headed kid from Diff’rent Strokes. Mr. Horton should have molested him instead of Dudley. I’m such a poser for mentioning Joyce on a sports blog. I’ll donkey punch myself to make up for it.