Friday, August 14th, 2009 at
3:42 pm
Today, the City of Brotherly Love introduced a brother who recently has been loved dearly in the joint.
And of course with the announcement that the Eagles signed Michael Vick, the Worldwide Leader went to Plaid implementing wall-to-wall coverage featuring a nationwide polling orgy and Woody Paige arguing with a life size mannequin of Michael Vick. The Leader’s pundits took to the airways frothily debating the rationale of signing Mr. Vick and thereby potentially alienating their entire fanbase. (Of course, this is the same team that once had a jail in its own stadium and whose head coach has two sons, who have done more drugs than most of Philly combined. Not to mention, this is the same fanbase who cheered a potentially paralyzed Michael Irvin and pelted Santa Claus with snowballs.) So the claims of potential alienation seem to be a stretch at best.
Missing from all of this coverage, however, is how I wish the Vick signing would play out…
At the first home game of the season, out of a smokey tunnel run the Eagles led by their quarterback, Donovan McNabb.
WHEN SUDDENLY, the entire stadium goes dark and out of nowhere a pack of dogs rush the field attacking Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid. Then a single spotlight shines back onto the entrance tunnel, and we see Michael Vick and Tony Dungy standing their with arms raised…while Jim Ross exclaims….
OH MY GOD IT’S MICHAEL VICK’S MUSIC!
(A boy can dream.)
Thursday, June 4th, 2009 at
4:20 am
Everyone knows Tony Dungy’s take on gay marriage. The gays aren’t qualified for marriage let alone equal rights in his opinion. That’s what “the Lord says” and he’s “on the Lord’s side”. He also doesn’t think that new Bears quarterback Jay Culter is mature or good enough to justify the amount of hype he’s getting in Chicago.
“[The Bears] took a risk [trading for Cutler]. I think they took a risk specifically with beating the Green Bay Packers in mind,” Dungy said Wednesday. “[They] I really think Chicago gave up a lot to get a quarterback who they believe is going to be the final piece of the puzzle. But I am not sure he has won enough to merit that yet.”
…Quarterbacking is so much about leadership and so much about doing things under pressure. There is going to be a lot of pressure on him. … We’ll see about his maturity level. That’s what I would question. And some of the things that happened leading to him leaving Denver … that would concern me as a head coach. He can make all of the throws, but quarterbacking is much more than just making throws”
Does this mean the Lord is against Jay Cutler or that he isn’t on the Lord’s side? What does this mean for Lovie and the Bears this coming season? Who else is on the enemies list? Hines Ward? Tony Romo? That red-headed stepchild on Diff’rent Strokes? Maroon 5? Oh wait, that’s my enemies list. Um, forget you just read that.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2008 at
7:13 am
Former Michigan and current Indianapolis Colts running back Mike Hart just doesn’t know when to be quiet. He should have learned his lesson when he called out Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh for criticizing Michigan’s low academic standards for athletes.
“He says we don’t have great student-athletes, but he just accepted one of our transfers,” Hart said. “What kind of sense does that make? Obviously, he wants guys like us at his school. I don’t know how he can say that. He’s not a Michigan man. I wish he’d never played here.”
Just think. Michigan might have beaten Appalachian State if Harbaugh played there last season.
It turned out Harbaugh was telling the truth for the most part. The Michigan football team was all about general studies and not communications. According to Pat Forde, “only one junior … declared a major, according to the guide (in movement science)” in 2007. “In 18 years of covering college athletics, I’ve never seen virtually an entire junior class without a major.”
Now Hart’s gone and done it again. The sixth round pick is claiming that the NFL isn’t as hard as he thought it would be.
“It’s a little different,” Hart said Saturday at Randy Wise Chevrolet in Flint, where he signed autographs. “The only surprise is it’s not as tough as I thought it was going to be, as far as practice and those type of things,” he said. “It’s more laid back.”
Hart was selected in the sixth round of the April draft by the Indianapolis Colts. He said: “Indianapolis is a different organization. You watch ‘Hard Knocks’ on HBO and you expect to be hazed and a lot of those things, but the Colts are a lot different. It’s not as bad as I thought — we don’t get taped, we don’t get hazed with the Colts.”
Hopefully Hart thinks OTAs are similar to training camp. The coaches and veterans must love hearing him say practice isn’t that hard or that he’s not getting hazed. It’ll be interesting to see if he thinks the same way when he’s duct taped to a bed while getting teabagged by a camel during training camp. Then again we probably have it wrong. Tony Dungy probably has his players read his book and go out on the town to haze gays while Marvin Harrison shoots off his guns like a Palestinian prisoner release celebration.
