It appears awesomeness is not enough to make it in the world of finance. HRJ Capital, an investment firm started by Harris Barton, Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana(EDIT:Apparently Joe Montana left the company in 2005) (HRJ get it) all formerly of the San Francisco 49ers, is about to get taken over. HRJ apparently owes Silicon Valley Bank a staggering 69 million dollars. Sixty-nine million dollars. I mean, who would’ve thought 3 ex athletes would have no idea what they were doing in the world of private equity and finance? Don’t get mad at me, even actual financial analysts say that what they were doing was pretty dumb.
In the financial equivalent of a Hail Mary pass, HRJ apparently doomed itself by using the firm as collateral on a bridge loan as it was attempting to raise $250 million. It was able to raise only about half that amount — between $110 million and $130 million — yet it had committed the entire $250 million for investments, according to a report from Thomson Reuters.
“Yes, that’s just as dumb as it sounds,” wrote Dan Primack, the top private-equity analyst at Thomson Reuters, and founder and editor of the www.pehub.com Web site.
“It’s very hard to kill off a PE firm,” he said. “The significance here to me is that one is actually dying. This is an exceptional case.”
Exceptional indeed. I wonder how some of their well regarded clients like Andre Agassi, Jerry Rice, Tim Duncan or Oscar de la Hoya feel about it? I don’t care how tough Ronnie Lott or Harris Barton were in their prime, I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell Oscar de la Hoya that you just lost a few million of his dollars. Ouch.
This video below shows how Nike loves to help spread the NBA empire around the world…selling millions of pairs of shoes in the meantime. Although if they are trying to sell shoes, i’m not sure why Nike didn’t show the shoes in these ads. Maybe its because most the people who are watching this ad are doing so in the 2 hours of free time they have in between sleep and slaving away in some sweatshop. There is plenty of animated Garnett, Duncan, and J-Will to show why they are making the shoes and why they should buy them. I must say, that is some catchy hip hop they’ve created.
All in all, it kinda looks like a bad Saturday morning cartoon called like “Rappin’ NBA Baller Superheroes!” or something. Maybe this isn’t even an advertisement but a propaganda video shown inside their sweatshops motivating their employees to make shoes for these rapping superheroes.
And the whole world collectively yawns. Seriously, while Lebron James has been annointed everything from King to the dreaded “Next MJ” tag he really isn’t all that an engaging person or player for me to watch. Granted, being a Wizards fan enables me to watch Gilbert Arenas circus sideshow act 82 games a year, but Lebron seems to me kinda like watching a slightly less annoying A-rod.
Both were teenager phenoms in their sports, both spout out more cliches per minute than a WWE wrestler, both have been touted and talented for so long the smugness that emanates from them is rivaled only by George Clooney, and both attempt market themselves as all-round nice guys even though when you hear them talk all you can think is “Geez, this guy sounds like a dick”. Thats not even mentioning the fact that Lebron is only using this basketball game to make money to fuel a multi-million dollar multi-media corporate empire. I just cannot get behind a guy who wants to be the Master P of basketball.
He can play basketball for sure, but he is by no means as exciting to watch as Kobe or Dwayne Wade or Gilbert currently, or someone like Shaq or KG or Magic or MJ were in their primes. He is a boring lone “superstar” on a team of spare parts and he is going up against the most complete team in the NBA, the Spurs.
They have Duncan, who while amazing, is boring as sin and cant make a highlight worthy play to save his life. Then again, he doesnt like to or have to show off because his team is so great. As a player and a person, he’s the antithesis of Lebron in that he wants no spotlight, no clothing line, no record label, he just wants to play basketball and fit in on a winning team. He is the anti-Lebron…and yet i’m bored by him as well because he has zero emotion whatsoever. I like to look at athletes and see that they care about what is going on out there, not the vacant stare that Timmy develops over the course of a game.
So the Spurs & Cavs kick off on Thursday and I dont care…a lot of people dont care. You have San Antonio vs. Cleveland…two cities that couldn’t be more different and yet both couldnt suck more. Lebron vs Tim Duncan…two superstars that couldn’t be more different and yet both couldn’t bore me more.
I think the only thing that will keep me interested is watching for Bowen and Ginobili’s dirty plays throughout the game. There is no way Larry Hughes is finishing this series on the court with those two assholes around.