The Big Lebowski Archives
You might fool the fucks on the ATP, but you don’t fool Ally. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man! Hah hah! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Thursday instead. Wooo! You got a date Thursday, baby!
You have to give it up for Ally Kudryavtseva. She does not mess around when it comes to people she doesn’t like. She worked Maria Sharapova like a rented mule yesterday beating her 6-2 6-4 and knocking her out of Wimbledon. After she beat Sharapova on the court, she finished her off by calling her out.
“It’s very pleasant to beat Maria. Why? Well, I don’t like her outfit. Can I put it this way? It’s a little too much of everything. It was one of the motivations to beat her.”
“If I’m not afraid to go play her and she’s world No.3, I’m not afraid she’s going to catch me in the dressing room and say, ‘You know what, you said you don’t like my outfit. You were wrong’. I will say, ‘Sorry. That’s just my opinion’.”
It’s a well known fact that Sharapova is not well liked (meaning not at all) by her Russian teammates. The girls are going to have a great time rooming together in Beijing. There’s a chance she could become shell-shocked like David Carr if she keeps getting beat down Brand Nubian style. She’s probably better off hiding out in Bradenton until everyone’s gone.
The Orioles have already exceeded the expectations of their fans this season. I should probably speak for myself. Yes, they’re in last place but it’s not a strong last place. The pitching and offense are much better than expected. However, there’s one hurdle the O’s can’t seem to jump.
Jesus Quintana was right. Nobody fucks with the Jesus (NSFW – language). The Orioles can’t win on Sundays. No one seems to know why and the team is getting desperate. Jay Payton is even considering animal sacrifice.
“We should just quit playing on Sundays and we’ll be in first place,” Jay Payton said. “It’s just one of those stats. Maybe we need to cut the head off a monkey or something to switch it up. I think it’s usually a chicken, but I’m thinking maybe a monkey would work. But that’s animal cruelty. I wouldn’t do that.”
I bet Ramon Hernandez or Kevin Millar wouldn’t hesitate. Aubrey Huff’s the utility guy. Animal sacrifice must fall under the utility designation although he’d probably say that’s horseshit.
** Sorry about the imbedded crap on the video but every clean version has been taken down or has no sound.