You know David Price wouldn’t be as salty if he had to buy a breast pump for Eva Longoria. “Shit, I’ll just handle that myself.” Alas he’s stuck with the bill for Evan instead of Eva.

Evan Longoria and his girlfriend had their first child and as we all know that means it’s time for friends and family to rush to the baby registry before all the cheap gifts are claimed. Price was slow on the uptake and ended up stuck with the breast pump, the most expensive gift on the registry.

“A breast pump,” Price said. “Hey, Evan told me to buy a breast pump. So I bought a breast pump.”

He managed to work up some bemused indignation over the whole thing.

“Most expensive thing on the registry and I have to buy it.”

Price made the mistake of checking to see what the couple needed instead of buying something he thought they could use or the kid could use when she gets a bit older like a onesie from the team shop. I’m like school on a Saturday. No class.

Of course $300 means nothing to a player who’s earning $10.1 million this season but as Big Worm says “It’s principalities in this“.

Speaking of baby showers, what’s up with men being invited to baby showers the past couple years? Has that always been a thing? I’ve found myself at several wondering what I was doing there along with the other men. We’ve been lucky so far in that they’ve been held at bars so we would congregate at the bar while the women did their thing. I once found myself suckered into some game where I had to wear a trash bag and eat pudding because I had no idea what went on at baby showers. It could also be that I didn’t get suckered. I’m just that stupid and unaware. I wake up with cold sweats in the middle of the night thinking about that day.

I’m not mad at being invited to baby showers. Just wondering when that started happening. There’s also the phenomenon of the engagement party. I’m cool with them if I’m not required to give a gift and the couple just wants to celebrate making things official. However I’ve been invited to others where gifts were “encouraged”. Fuck that. You get one gift. Pick whether you want it for your engagement or wedding. If you’re holding a destination wedding where I have to cross international waters, expect your gift to be on the cheaper end. The exception? The wedding takes place on a boat in international waters and knife fighting monkeys are the post-wedding entertainment. Huzzah. I’ll make it rain on your registry. Short of that, just be aware.

I already have three weddings this year. I swear I’ll get someone an air freshener if they decide to go with the Dodge Dart registry. Yes. Dodge has a car registry where people can log on and buy the lucky couple parts of a Dodge Dart. Chimp, you’re finally getting your wedding present. It’s Clutch. I mean a clutch.

I’ve got no horse in the MLB playoffs right now, my team lost 102 games this season, so I, the impartial viewer, just have this to say about last night…what the f$@!k was that? How does a team up 7-0 blow a lead like that? The Tampa Bay Rays might have a hard time recovering from a choke job of that kind of proportions. A 3-1 series lead, just 3 innings to the world series, and a 7-0 lead turns to a 3-2 series lead and all the momentum flowing the Red Sox way. After the numerous beat downs Tampa had put on the Sox, I thought this game was a mere formality, but now, this series just got interesting!

There’s nothing sports fans love more than hypocrites. It’s also interesting to see that the Red Sawx have reached a point where they’ve stopped being “idiots” and become uptight, self-righteous douchebags like a certain team in the South Bronx. Now there’s another reason to hate the Red Sox besides their fans.

Youk has a problem with the Tampa Bay Rays and their dancers. He should get together with Goose Gossage so they can bitch about how smiling and high fives are a sign that players don’t have respect anymore.

“It’s unprofessional in a lot of ways,” Youkilis said before a Red Sox workout yesterday at Tropicana Field. “People dancing on top of the dugout in between innings is OK, but during the game . . . It’s a different atmosphere from New York and Boston.”

Don’t forget about the refreshing freedom from spectator douchebaggery that one finds in New York and Boston. It is different and that’s not such a bad thing. As much as one hated the Sox, they were a refreshing alternative from the “stick up the ass” attitude of the Yankees. Guess that’s over. I suppose they’ll come back to the dancers if they drop the series.

Keep in mind that these comments are coming from the team that once reveled in being seen as “idiots” and not giving a damn. It’s nice to see that Youk finally cares about professionalism. Too bad he never did when a certain unnamed player on his team constantly showed signs of unprofessionalism and apathy. Maybe he should be more concerned about fans blowing their load in the stands over Coco Crisp. Droppin’ loads!! Was it as good for Coco as it was for this assclown?

That’s right, for women out there who want to get in on the “Rayhawk” craze that is sweeping all of Tampa Bay in support of their Rays playoff run, there is a way to show their support…a little more discretely…and much to the joy of their significant others. The Rayhawk bikini wax has become a popular way for women to show their team support:

Michelle Foster of Skin Deep Spatique in St. Petersburg says she was inspired by her son’s Mohawk, “I stopped and thought about it a minute, and thought, well now everyone can have one!”

But, it’s not exactly pain-friendly. Team pride comes with a little sacrifice.

Women wince. They cry. They even scream.

It’s a bit of a shock to the system as hot wax is spread onto the skin with a spatula, while an aesthetician stands by with a white piece of cloth, ready to rip off the wax. When all is said and done, women are left with a female Rayhawk.

Michelle says the response has been crazy. She chuckled and told us, “It’s fun. Now us ladies have a way of participating.”

It seems to be making a lot of men happy, Michelle says, as women come home with what she calls a big “surprise.”

I, for one, hope people take notice of this trend here in DC. With the Redskins starting out 4-1, I think all of us men should shave our heads bald to support our team. Women…you may shave whatever you want accordingly. Oh yes.

Via Tampa Bays 10