Normally we’d never say anything to disrespect swine. Homer not only wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey but he also proclaimed the pig to be a magical animal. Who are we to argue with him? We’re not VOB.
Russia, under the guidance of the almighty Guus Hiddink, is traveling to Wales next month to challenge the west country in a World Cup qualifier. While the team prepares to face the douchebaggery of Craig Bellamy, the supporters are taking precautions against the threat of swine flu. They’re being encouraged to drink copious amounts of Welsh whiskey to ward off H1N1 by the Russian football supporters association (VOB).
“We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection,” VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.”That should cure all symptoms of the disease.”
The Russian health ministry is advising against travel to England but the VOB ain’t havin’ it.
“Health officials say this virus is very dangerous but being a fan myself I can tell you that for a real fan nothing is more important than the well-being of the team,” said Shprygin, who also sits on the executive board of the Russian FA.
“Russian fans don’t fear anything or anybody so this virus will not stand in our way of supporting our team.”
Shprygrin failed to mention that nothing will stand in the way of Russian supporters and Welsh whiskey. If there’s one thing that will lead Russia to victory besides Guus Hiddink, it’s Welsh whiskey. Don’t even get them started on shoe polish sandwiches. That’s Azerbaijan’s ass. We’re not making that up.