Thursday, January 8th, 2009 at
Some things are guaranteed to surprise you. Find a horse head in your bed. Surprise. Shane killing Lem. Fucked up. Being cut by your team after they find out you’ve been involved in another shooting incident after being suspended once this season. Not so much.
The Cowboys surprisingly did the smart thing and cut Pacman Jones yesterday. There was a small matter of a 2007 incident where he arranged to have three men shot outside of an Atlanta strip club AFTER he was already suspended for a year by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.
The June 2007 shooting occurred outside a suburban Atlanta strip club. One of the shooting victims told “Outside the Lines” that he had a dispute with Jones inside the strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. The NFL knew about that incident, but charges were never brought against anyone because the victims did not see the shooter.
The news spurred the team to cut Pacman after just one season with the organization. There are also reports that were investigated by the Cowboys that Pacman was partying up in the club the night after their loss to the Ravens and New Years Eve in a Miami bar.
Pacman is suprised and “hurt” that he was cut by the Cowboys who stood by him this season after making owner Jerry Jones and the organization look like fools.
“Surprised? Yeah, I was surprised,” said Jones, reached at his Prosper home. “All I can do is keep working hard, keep my nose clean and hope for the best.”
It’s possible that he could receive a lifetime ban from the league following news of this incident that occurred during his suspension. However it seems odd that he would receive the NFL death penalty for an incident that was already known to the league before he was reinstated.
In his downtime, he can try to sue ESPN as he threatened to do when asked about the report. At least he’s staying positive.
“If I beat myself up, who will take care of me?” Jones said. “Football means a lot to me, but it’s not everything. It’s not like I’m taking it pretty good. I love me some me.”
You know who also loves him some him? T.O. Someone needs to give these guys a sitcom or reality show immediately.
Maybe Lawrence Phillips can give Pacman a CFL recommendation. Rumor has it Calgary is great in February. He’ll also get much love up in the Calgary clubs with their No Coloreds policies.
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at
Far be it for us to criticize someone for enjoying the sauce. Some of our “best” work has been done after enjoying numerous macrobrews. However we would think twice if we were Liverpool’s Jermaine Pennant. Actually we wouldn’t think at all because he’s a dumbass.
Pennant is determined not to play top flight soccer anymore. That can be the only explanation for getting caught boozing in front of Faces nightclub in the name of Lindsay Lohan. He’s already spent time in jail and worn an ankle bracelet due to incidents caused by his “amateur night” drinking. He was pictured taking hits from a bottle of Jack outside the Essex club last Sunday. The Daily Mail reports that he was there due to the appearance of the Firecrotch. He’s already on thin ice with Rafa Benitez and now it may be impossible to move him to a different club. Who the hell wants this disaster on their hands?
This incident is minor compared to when Pennant was arrested for drunk driving and gave the police the name of his former teammate, Ashley Cole. He was also arrested for smacking his bitch up. He does wrong even when he tries to do right like the time he fell over piss drunk in a pizza place trying to break up a fight.
Pennant is almost out of chances. He’s a perennial benchwarmer and reports say that Benitez has run out of patience with his lifestyle and lack of ambition. He’s blocked moves to other Premiership teams and shows no effort in trying to earn his keep at Anfield. Interested clubs will probably back off after seeing he’s learned nothing from past incidents even though he’s been given chance after chance. Hopefully he’ll like playing for lower league teams like Norwich or Coventry. It’s hard to see another Premiership team taking a shot on him. Worse comes to worse, he can go work for his dad Gary at his crack and heroin den.
Pennant probably wouldn’t have been at the club if Lohan wasn’t there. Even when she’s playing lesbian, Lohan is still figuratively fucking men. Brilliant!
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 at
Allan Houston is going to make the Knicks final roster and first round draft pick Danilo Gallinari is going to start in the D-League? It’s business as usual at the Garden. Excellent…
Thursday, October 9th, 2008 at
Well that didn’t take long. What can be said about the one they call Pacman this time? At least he didn’t get into it at the strip club? I suppose that’s a start.
Pacman could be in some trouble unless the Cowboys cover up his latest altercation Michael Irvin-style. CBS11 in Dallas and Pro Football Talk report that Pacman was involved in a scrap at a Dallas hotel. The Dallas station calls the Tuesday night incident a “violent confrontation”. Allegedly it was between Pacman and a member of his security detail.
Sources say police were called after Jones argued with one of his own bodyguards. By the time police arrived he was headed back inside the hotel and patrons could clearly hear a fight going on in the bathroom.
That fight was allegedly between ‘Pacman’ Jones and a member of his security detail. Security inside the hotel allegedly pulled the two apart. At least one mirror was broken in the confrontation.
Sources say Jones went outside and left the hotel without paying his tab. He was reportedly with a woman who drove the two away from the scene.
Strangely enough, there was no police report. That’s how you circle the wagons, Dallas. It’s a time honored tradition in the Execution State. Anyway, Pacman’s going to do as Pacman does. If Shammgod can’t go to the mountain, the mountain will just have to come to Shammgod. You can’t keep Pacman away from beef forever. He’s gotta have it like Pookie.
Maybe the Bengals should sign Pacman’s bodyguard. He got to Pacman way more than Ocho Cinco.
UPDATE: The Bengals would probably have to give up too high a draft pick to get the bodyguard because he’s already down with America’s Team. PFT’s Mike Florio has a league source who says the bodyguard “was an off-duty police officer who has been hired by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to babysit Pacman”.
The source says that the problem started because the babysitter popped off to Jones’ female companion. Jones, who had been drinking, then started up with the guy, and it culminated in a scuffle.
Jones, we’re told, had marks on his face at practice on Wednesday.
This keeps getting better. Only if the source knew what the bodyguard said to Pacman’s lady friend. Maybe he told Pacman’s bitch that he still felt that she owed him some sex.
CBS11 TV via Pro Football Talk.
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at
What can you say about the Detroit Lions? They have a QB who thinks God’s going to help him win 10 games a season. Still waiting on that. A GM who makes Dan Duquette look like a genius and a running back who makes Harry and Lloyd look like Mensa candidates. Excuse me, Flo. What’s the soup du jour?
Matt Millen signed former Bengals running back Rudi Johnson after releasing the next Defensive Player of the Year. Tatum Bell didn’t take too kindly to that and that’s when things got weird.
From Pro Football Talk:
…As we’re told by a reliable source … Johnson left his bags outside CEO Matt Millen’s office while he met with team officials and, ultimately, worked out a deal with the team.
So when Johnson came back to get his bags, they were nowhere to be found. Johnson and Millen were stumped.
The team checked the videotapes generated by the team’s in-house surveillance system, and they quickly identified the culprit.
So who might it have been? None other than Tatum Bell, who lost his gig with the Lions after Rudi arrived.
PFT explains that Bell took the bags to a female acquaintance’s house. When confronted (presumably by Millen wearing a bobby hat), he claimed he thought the bags belong to someone he knew. The acquaintance said she hadn’t seen Bell for a couple months and he just showed up at her door asking her to hold on to the bags “for a while”.
We disagree with Florio. We think Najeh Davenport would have had the appropriate response. There ain’t no half-steppin’ when it comes to our godfather. He would have opened those bags and let loose like a Gatling gun. Stupid’s contagious at Ford Field. It’s only a matter of time until Rudi’s infected.