Howard University Men’s Soccer Coach Joseph Okoh thought he made a love connection over the interwebs after previous attempts on J-Date (Juvenile not Jewish) didn’t work out. Too bad it turned out to be a cop instead of a 13-year old girl.

Okoh was arrested after being netted in a sting operation conducted by the Louisa County Sheriff’s Office as part of the Southern Virginia Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. He traveled to Louisa County thinking he was going to give a girl some Bison love and instead ended up posterized in a mug shot. He was charged with one count of using a commuications system to solicit a person under 15 years old with lascivious intent.

He just finished his first year as head coach after coming from Shepherd University. The 2007 Season Outlook for the team states:

Okoh will look to incorporate the Dutch philosophy of “Total Football” to the Bison’s on-the-field strategy, typically a system in which every player is active in all facets of the game, whether it is full-backs joining the offensive attack or wide midfielders tracking back to help defend. In other words, much of the Bison’s focus will be geared around its players’ versatility.

Apparently he had the same Total Molestation game plan. Luckily, his record off the field was just as bad as his record on it. Okoh could have done himself a favor by listening to the words of BDP.

All jokes aside, one has to feel for Okoh’s family for the embarrassment and shame they have to deal with in the coming months thanks to his depraved, selfish actions.

Steve McClaren could use a job these days and the Howard job would give him massive street cred.

What the hell can you say? As a youth soccer coach from Tenneessee said today, Steve McClaren better be going to temple tonight. England have no business still being in contention for a place in Euro 2008 but somehow they’re still in the hunt. Israel pulled off an upset and defeated Russia 2-1 with an injury time goal by Omer Golan. The result eliminated Russia and only requires England to get one point from their match with Croatia on Wednesday to advance to next year’s finals. Hebrew Nationals and He’brews all around.

England still live in spite of McClown’s best effort to sabotage any chance England had of winning this Wednesday. England played a friendly against Austria on Friday and Michael Owen started even though the squad’s striker situation was precarious. Like the lame horse he is, Owen went down and is out for Wednesday’s crucial match. His absence leaves the one and only Crouchigol as the lone option.

If England wins, the papers will start screaming about an England win next summer and glory for the queen. McClown will get a knighthood even before the tournament along with a contract extension until 2491.

In other Euro 2008 news, Italy slid through to the finals on a dodgy call as they beat a resilient Scotland 2-1. I was pulling for a Scotland win to go along with a Russian win. It would have been great to see the Scots win and England go out. The Scots would never let them live it down. However, a few English friends pointed out that an England win on Wednesday means less hooligans in London next summer so it’s a must-win.

Here are your other results.

Finland 2 – Azerbaijan 1
Spain 3 – Sweden 0
Northern Ireland/Fulham 1 – Denmark 0 (That’s gotta hurt, Vilhelm)
Poland 2 – Belgium 1
Portugal 1 – Armenia 0 (Allegations of a massacre are highly exaggerated)
Greece 5 – Malta 0
Turkey 2 – Norway 0
Lithuania 2 – Ukraine 0
Wales 2 – Ireland 2
Germany 4 – Cyprus 0
Moldova 3 – Hungary 0
Czech Republic 3 – Slovakia 1
Macedonia 2 – Croatia 0
Latvia 4 – Liechtenstein 0
Bulgaria 1 – Romania 0
Albania 2 – Belarus 4 (Albania did win most number of stolen watches)
Netherlands 1 – Luxembourg 0

One weekend down. Spurs are getting relegated and Sunderland’s gonna win the league. Who says there’s no balance in the Premier League? Two roundups in one week. It’s like a gang sweep in LA except no innocents are beaten unless you count Spuds fans.

Yay! Wait…I Like Stuff but These are Things

It’s not enough that Posh Spice annoys us with her excessive preening and desperation for media attention. Now she’s started a blog and “writes” like a valley girl from an 80s movie.

Hope you are all well? Well we have finally unpacked our boxes and I am loving our new house – it is totally major! … The boys are really looking forward to starting their new school so we’ve got to make sure they are all kitted out with new schoolbags and pencil cases – you remember what it’s like going back to school, you’ve got to have a new EVERYTHING!
David and myself attended a launch last week in Bel Air (very swish) for the launch of our latest fragrance Intimately Beckham … I’m also just starting work on my new dVb denim collection – I’m really excited about starting the next project – it’s going to be totally major so keep your eyes open for that.

I’m so totally dumber for having read that.

I didn’t have to share that find but what good is pain if you can’t share it?

McClaren: Top Formula One Team or Assclown Manager

I’ll take B for 1000.

Steve McClaren shouldn’t feel bad. It’s not his fault that the FA couldn’t choose a decent England manager if the lives of the English people depended on it. Someone as incompetent as him never should have been put in the position of managing a national team let alone a chip shop. Nothing says competence and skill like having a fan run on the field, tear his season ticket up and throw it at you.

McClaren banished David Beckham from the national squad only to have him inspire Real Madrid to a La Liga title and look like a world beater. He was forced to go crawling back and beg Beckham to rejoin the team. One would think he would have learned from that experience but…

Fast forward to Jamie Carragher. He’s been left in the cold in favor of Ledley King and Wes Brown. One would be hard pressed to find a number of fans who would rate him below those two donkeys.

Carragher, rightfully sick over how he has been treated, declared he was finished with international football. A couple injuries later, McClown has been forced to drop to his knees and beg him to come back. He would be right to tell McClown where to stick it.

It’s not all doom and gloom so buck up, England! Sol Campbell’s getting a recall.

Toilet Seat Thieves Don’t Cut It Anymore

Chelsea have reportedly landed Brazilian right back Daniel Alves from Sevilla for over £21.5m. He was held out of Sevilla’s Champions League qualifier with AEK Athens yesterday so that he would not be cup-tied in case he made the move to Chelsea or another Champions League team like Real Madrid.

If the reports are true, Chelsea will have a world class right back and can banish toilet seat thief Glen Johnson to the salt mines for his shockingly awful play.

“You’re just a fat Eddie Murphy” for Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink? Brilliant.

It’s Worse Than Opening The Ark of the Covenant

Let’s get the soccer roundup out of the way. Go here for weekend scores. The short of it: West Pork’s screwed. ManUre maintainted their lead at the top by beating Charlton 2-0. Chelsea remain six points back after a 3-0 win against Middlesborough. Hilarity of the weekend: Sheffield United 2 – Spurs 1.

Yo’ Mama Ain’t Got Nuthin’ To Do With Me

Newcastle United and Nigeria striker Obafemi Martins was confronted by a mob in an airport in Lagos, Nigeria after missing Nigeria’s match with Ghana on Tuesday which they lost 4-1.

Martins tried to explain that he skipped the match to attend to his sick mother but the crowd wasn’t having it.

…The soccer fans literally held Obafemi hostage demanding to know why he was not in London for the match.

The fans had argued that if the former Inter Milan striker had played the match, the Super Eagles would not have been disgraced.

As at the time the fans quizzed him, Nigeria were three goals down.

The visibly angry fans asked: “Why are you not playing? If you were there, you will have scored at least one goal by now and Ghana will not have that the courage to play us out.”

Chelsea midfielder Jon Obi Mikel claimed he was forced to play after being pressured by the Nigerian FA and family threats. He played against orders from Chelsea doctors and manager Jose Mourinho. Mourinho was reported to have been furious and Chelsea have made complaints to FIFA.

Nigerians don’t play when it comes to their soccer. Ghanians sure do. In the words of Pork-o-potamus X, “Only with Africans…Whether in Africa or Africans in London, mayhem.

I Don’t Know What You Come To Do But I Come To Pray

That’s all you have left if you’re an England fan. They suck enough to put a Tijuana donkey show performer out of business. England’s pathetic showing in their Euro 2008 qualifier loss against Spain on Wednesday once again proved that Second Choice Steve McClaren knows much more about dental hygiene than he does about soccer.

Middlesborough chairman Steve Gibson blamed Premiership clubs for his former manager McClaren’s obvious lack of sense.

What chances are English footballers getting at major clubs? Steve can only work with the tools he’s given. The Liverpools and the Arsenals – what are they contributing at national level?

What’s Boro contributing at the national level besides mediocre football and Stewart Downing? He and Joey Barton are exactly what England needs to save its Euro 2008 campaign. I suppose Gibson doesn’t remember Boro losing 7-0 to Arsenal or a fan throwing his season ticket at McClaren in disgust. I’m sure it has nothing to do with his lack of coaching sense or the FA’s abidcation of its duty to run football with some level of competence.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger shot back at Gibson:

England were behind in developing players for years but they have worked hard to rectify things.

France started that in 1974. They won the European Championship in 1984 because we had an exceptional player [Michel Platini]. Then they won the World Cup in 1998 and reached the World Cup Final in 2006. That work began in 1974. It shows that the work takes 20 years.

The only thing I can say is that whenever England do not win it is always my fault, even when I am not at the game.

To put players in my team who are not good enough would not strengthen the England team but weaken the Arsenal team. I’m not at fault for England’s frustrations.

England is now third in their group behind Russia and Croatia with an upcoming match on March 24 against Israel. If they lose, they’re pretty much done. There will be a bunch of hand-wringing and moaning and then they’ll pick another incompetent English manager to make sure they don’t qualify for the World Cup in 2010.

Lassana Diarra Has Two Fathers

It’s great to see such an open-minded team.

Arsenal Finds More Young Boys For Wenger

Arsenal has linked up with the Colorado Rapids in an effort to expand their brand in the US and search for young talent. Wenger stated that the Arsenal board informed him the link was not a precursor to a club takeover. He did not deny that he was planning slumber parties for Rapids players at his home.

Changes Afoot At Liverpool

Liverpool’s new American owners have already started the changes at Anfield by introducing a new crest which better symbolizes the true nature of the club and its fans.