Snowboards on wheels, going down urban “mountains”…in other words, skateboarding down big hills. Pretentious “indie” free boarders think this is the next wave of skateboarding. Watch and yell at the monitor like I did at these d-bags.
The eXtremity Games are to be held July 18th – 21st in lovely Orlando, Florida and the Deuce could not be more excited to watch a bunch of people already missing limbs to be participating in Xtreme sports. I mean, there will no longer be that awkward period of silence that occurs when a skateboarder lands his 50-50 grind badly thereby fracturing his leg in several places because, well, he won’t have a friggin leg anyway! That was a fake leg! HAHAHAHA! We can all laugh about it and move on!
The events at this year’s eXtremity Games are:
BMX and Mountain Biking Kayaking Moto-X Rock Climbing Skateboarding Surfing Wakeboarding
All events have prize pools of $1,500, $750, $250 for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, but these are awarded only to the most difficult of divisions…the rest are shit out of luck and get one of the equivocal “non cash prizes”. Lets hope it is new limbs for the guy that fucks up his Backflip One-Handed Nac-Nac during Moto-X ’cause lemme tell ya, he’s gonna need it.
Altogether, the Deuce supports giving cripsgimpshandicapped “handicapable” people their own eXtreme games and events. Seriously, everyone else has them, why the hell can’t they? It really cannot be worse than National eXtreme Baseball.
Sometimes we forget how old Tony Hawk is, dude is almost 40 years old, but he has been boarding since he was a wee lad. See for yourself, check out this Tony Hawk video from 1981 skateboarding to some whacked out Irish ditty sung by the Cap’n himself…how drunk was the Cap’n this morning by the way? Dude was singing Irish drinking songs about skateboarding, having a full conversation with a moose and a skateboarding bunny rabbit circles in front of him and he doesn’t flinch? Yet another reason Captain Kangaroo is my hero.
Wu-Wear better jump on this. Security clothing company Bladerunner Kevlar Protection and artist Dr. Zulu have collaborated to come out with a stylish Kevlar, knife resistant hoodie. That image you see on the hoodie is actually the chemical compound for Kevlar all over it.
This is obviously for the skater who likes to skate in TEH MOST X-TREME neighborhoods. EXTREME TO THE MAX!