Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 at
Who could forget this Nick Nolte worthy mugshot? An athlete could only hope to have this dead sexy on his arm. Kim Mattingly is back. This time she’s bringing some family and she will cut off that TV if you don’t take her insults like a man.
Taylor Mattingly, the oldest son of Don Mattingly, was arrested after shoving and spitting on his mother because she sent him insulting text messages and cut off his satellite TV.
Mattingly acknowledged confronting his mother, Kim Mattingly, on Tuesday afternoon in her Evansville home after she had sent him a text message insulting him, his girlfriend and his father, Vanderburgh County Sheriff’s Deputy Nathan Espenlaub said Wednesday.
The deputy wrote in an affidavit that Mattingly acknowledged pushing his mother down and spitting on her. Mattingly, who surrendered to police Tuesday evening, also acknowledged smashing a patio table, flipping over a second table and damaging a patio door and a window.
The affidavit states that Taylor Mattingly, who was drafted by the Yankees in the 42nd round in 2003 but no longer plays professionally, said his mother had been drinking and that when she gets drunk she calls him and makes rude comments.
Insulting three people in one text message is rather impressive. Kim claims that Taylor became angry with her after she couldn’t get a car dealer to trade his car in for another one. He blew his lid when cut off his satellite TV service. He came over to her house within 15 minutes and and that’s when things popped off. You can’t cut off Home Improvement in Indiana and not expect to reap the whirlwind.
Care to bet any money on the next time Donnie Baseball goes back to Evansville? Kim probably insulted his 100% cotton pants. That would set any son off. Maybe he could trade Kim and Taylor for players to be named later or a bucket of week old, room temperature shrimp. The Pirates would probably take them for a couple top prospects plus Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez. That’s just how they do.
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 at
It was only a year and a half ago that a collective scream of horror rose from thousands of bars and homes at the end of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. It wasn’t a scream of excitement over the amazing game. It was a scream of horror as Boise State running back Ian Johnson proposed to his girlfriend immediately after the win.
“What the hell are you doing?? Think about what you’re doing!! Your stock’s never going to be higher!! You idiot!!”
The proposal was only topped by Chris Myers’ efforts to ruin the surprise. You may have agreed or disagreed with the timing of Johnson’s proposal but there’s no question it was strong. France manager Raymond Domenech got the wrong idea.
France was hustled out of Euro 2008 like Tracy McGrady out of the first round and Domenech thought it would be a great idea to propose to his lady friend during the post-match press conference.
“I have only one plan at the moment, it is to marry Estelle, ” Domenech said when asked about whether he felt he had a future as France coach.
“And it is only this evening that I ask for her hand in marriage.
“I know it is difficult, but it is in moments like these that one has need of everyone, and I need her. “
Now that’s a winning proposal. “Hey baby, my name is Raymond Domenech and I just oversaw the rape of France by the Netherlands, Italy AND Romania. I’m about to lose my job and move back in with my parents. So you wanna make this forever or what?” It worked for George Costanza so it should work for Domenech. Right? Right? … Hello?
Thursday, January 10th, 2008 at
Now I may not be some hotshot trial lawyer like Jackie Chiles but I do have the sense that I’d probably have a better strategy than telling my client to pretend he doesn’t speak English. Then again that’s probably why I’m not one.
Andy Pettitte was impressed enough with the strategy to hire Jay Reisinger. Reisinger represented Sammy Sosa during the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearings. If you remember, Sosa forgot that he spoke English. It was pretty damn funny but effective enough to stymie the hacks that inhabit the House of Representatives. Pettitte will probably have a harder time convincing the committee members that he doesn’t speak English but perhaps we give them too much credit.
Chuck Knoblauch should have an easier time defending himself. Unless he was trying to peg Keith Olbermann’s mother, he’s proof that steroids don’t necessarily make one a better player. He should get together with all the named Orioles and demand an apology.