Let’s see what Cavalier fans would do if they didn’t get free chalupas when the team scores 100 points. They’d probably turn Cleveland into Detroit. Free Taco Bell is all they have left. Who cares if it consists of donkey testicles, oats and asbestos? It’s the closest they’ll come to winning anything.

On the other hand, Seattle Sounders supporters are butthurt over their options:

The Sounders are usually on top of their game when it comes to the fans but really, Drew? You have no problem giving away all kinds of showcases on The Price is Right but you can’t even give the fans a bean burrito if they score three goals? Bob Barker would slap you around like Happy Gilmore. The prize is wrong. A haircut? No one gets a haircut in Seattle except Microsoft employees and area Mormons. Food is what the people want. Food is what they should get. Try offering free haircuts to Columbus Crew fans. This is what will happen. You want that on your hands, Carey?

Seattle, you give your incredible support away too easily. Demand what is rightfully yours. Free food for all! It’s the Pacific Northwest way.

H/T to Darren Rovell.

UPDATE: Apparently Sounders fans do get free food. They get two free tacos if the team gets a shutout. On one hand, it’s not just one free taco. It’s two. On the other, they’re Jack in the Box tacos. No tacos may be better. Stick with the haircuts, Seattle.

Drew Carey got a taste of some real soccer fandom when a Toronto FC supporter threw a beer at him after the Seattle Sounders beat Toronto 2-0. Carey is a part-owner of the Sounders who are playing their first season and doing much better than expected. Luckily for him, a reporter got most of the beer. The thrower would have been better off throwing weighted Plinko chips at him.

Goldenballs starts talking about moving to AC Milan on loan and challengers are going to make their move. First up, Freddie Ljungberg.

The Swedish midfielder is bringing his sexy to the MLS so even if Beckham leaves, you’ll have a replacement for your heart, loins as well as the pink and brown. Ljungberg is rumored to have signed a two year deal with the expansion Seattle Sounders. The Sounder will hold a press conference today to announce a “new star player”. I’m holding out for an overweight, drunk Diego Maradona but it’s probably a Swede.

This should be a good pickup for the Sounders. The former Arsenal star brings some cache along with Kasey Keller although not on the level of a Beckham. His skills, although diminished, should help the young team.

Signing players in the twilight of their career may be the way of the MLS for a while until the skill level as a whole improves and more importantly, players are paid obscene wages like the big leagues.