Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 at
It’s always good when we can drop a Big Pun line into a post. Ronaldo sure knows how to pick them. First he gets in trouble for rolling with a gaggle of transvestites and now he’s starring in an Iranian movie.
Ronaldo is set to play himself in an Iranian movie about a Palestine girl who was killed before realizing her dream of meeting him.
Still without a title, the movie is based on the true story of Alneyrab, a 13-year-old girl who dreamed of meeting the soccer star when he visited the Middle East on a humanitarian mission in 2005. She was only able to watch her idol pass through along with his entourage, and later was killed in a conflict in the region.
It’s unclear how they’ll make a whole movie out of this but what Ahmadinejad wants, Ahmadinejad gets. Ronaldo will only appear in a few scenes which will take place in Alneyrab’s dreams. Let’s hope the dreams involve his participation in humanitarian missions as opposed to his nights rolling tranny heavy. The latter might not go over so well in Iran these days.
Monday, February 9th, 2009 at
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 at
The 40 oz in Adriano’s lap is freezing his balls and the Special One is not amused. The talented Brazilian striker’s time may have run out at Inter Milan after he was sent home from training by manager Jose Mourinho for showing up drunk last Thursday.
Training after the defeat by Bremen was set to resume at 10.30am. The Brazilian arrived in good time but in a very bad state. The coach saw this and asked him to leave the training centre.
Gazzetta dello Sport describes Mourinho as “inevitably furious” after the incident. Adriano is obviously not aware of the damage the Special One can do when crossed. Former Chelsea striker Adrian Mutu found out after testing positive for coke. He was tossed off the team and banned from play. After several court battles, he now owes Chelsea £13.68m for breach of contract. Lesson? Do not fuck with Jose.
This isn’t the first incident involving Adriano and alcohol. He’s well known for his partying ways even back in Brazil where he fled last year after going a bit insane in Milan. Inter was nice enough to let him go back to Brazil and get his head straight. After promising to change his ways, he was pictured out on the same night with everyone’s favorite tranny connoisseur, Ronaldo.
Good times! Hope Ronaldo has space on his couch. Adriano returned this season and already has shown up to training wrecked several times in addition to being seen out in the clubs and showing lackluster effort on the pitch. It’s surprising that Mourinho has tolerated this behavior for so long but maybe he feels differently about Adriano than he did about Mutu. It’s not as though he’s the main or only option up front. Inter has the talented Swedish international Zlatan Ibrahimovic as well as the young Mario Balotelli (who is going to be a star before long). The two of them make Adriano excess to requirements. Inter would probably be best served cutting him loose and sending him back to Brazil before he completely turns into the Brazilian Gazza.
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 at
The window to weight gain is closing fast on the original Ronaldo now forever known as Fat Ronaldo. He’s determined to play for Brazil again and regrets the weight gain that would have made Homer proud.
It’s bad enough that another younger, better looking player takes your place but also taking your name? That’s some straight up cold shit.
Brazilian striker Ronaldo put on so much weight while he was injured this year that he was running out of clothes that fit him, he said on Tuesday.
“I couldn’t have got any fatter, I was running out of clothes,” Ronaldo said in an interview with the Sportv cable television station.
The former world great has been rehabbing with Flamengo and getting back in fighting shape. That’s bullshit. He was well on his way to Diego Maradona proportions before this ridiculous rehab/weight loss program.
Doesn’t he realize he could have gotten disability in addition to whatever payments he would have received from AC Milan and insurance? Now he has to fight his way back into national team contention with some half-ass team like Manchester City or Livorno. Maybe Mallorca would take him. Just keep him away from the buttered bull balls and buttermilk paella.
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 at
When will the bad times end for AC Milan and Brazil striker Ronaldo? Once he was almost the greatest soccer player in the history of the universe. Now he’s fat, gimpy and getting rolled by trannies.
Ronaldo was questioned by police in Sao Paulo after being caught with transvestite hookers in a motel room. He claimed the bitches set him up (Marion Barry would be proud) and tried to extort money out of him. He was unaware that the hookers were trannies until they got to the hotel but he was aware that they were prostitutes.
[Police inspector Carlos Augusto] Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.
“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”
…The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.
The prostitutes claimed Ronaldo also asked for drugs but he denied this in a statement to Globo TV.
Prostitution isn’t a crime in Brazil so Ronaldo isn’t in trouble with the law.He must be happy that he won’t be going back to Milan in the near future. AC Milan owner, Italian prime minister and all-around buffoon Silvio Berlusconi probably ordered him to use hookers to keep his cardio up while rehabbing his knee.