I haven’t had any interest in watching Dancing with the Stars. The only times I’ve been seen it are when I’ve been forced to watch it by a significant other or my mom. Don’t tell me I don’t understand Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib detainees. I feel their pain like one of the Crimson Twins. I was willing to sell my family and friends up the river for a reprieve after only a few minutes. All that being said, my attitude could change towards the show if reports about next season come to fruition.

TMZ is reporting that DWTS is in negotiations with the former Ron Artest to appear on the show this upcoming season.

Nothing’s official yet — but sources tell us, both Artest and “Dancing” producers have been in touch to hash out a possible deal … and Ron’s pretty excited about the prospect.

But here’s the catch — “Dancing” won’t end ’til November and basketball season typically starts in October … which means if the lockout ends early, Ron could be S.O.L.

That said, Ron could theoretically handle both commitments simultaneously — because as TMZ first reported, “Dancing” producers are desperate for A-list talent … so there will be NO minimum rehearsal requirement next season.

Oh please let this happen. Artest may have changed his name to Metta World Peace but don’t act like you couldn’t see him blowing up over a low score from one of the judges. How long into the season would we have to wait until stories start coming out about him texting pictures of his dick to his dance partner?

Who’s going to tell Artest that’s not a dance move? Will he insist that they dance to one of his own tracks?

Hines Ward had Jerome Bettis or Franco Harris present to cheer him on. I don’t even know which one was be there. Artest would find some crazy fool to represent for him. I’d love to see a chimp in a Lakers jersey and Rec-Specs (shout out to Rambis) in the crowd every week. Maybe AC Green could show up and sit uncomfortably while the couples grind up on each other. You gotta feel sorry for his wife. His load probably blew her back out after being pent up for so long. She’s probably in physical therapy to this day.

Anyway, Artest on DWTS needs to happen. They might want to continue with the crazy and think bigger. Imagine deposed dictators as contestants. Too bad Saddam Hussein and Idi Amin are dead. They would be perfect. Warlords would make for great viewing. Some former Congolese rebel leader who eats chimps and people or a former Serbian general would liven things up. Don’t waste your time contacting your Congressperson about the debt ceiling. They’re all assclowns and you know it. Phone, email, fax or carrier raven ABC and tell them to get on board with this hotness.

The Lakers better not go on a losing streak otherwise Ron Artest might go back to the Henny and skunk with a bit of Brand Nubian-style beatin’ down punks on the side. The drama and quote machine is back in the spotlight after an interview which will appear in the Sporting News magazine on December 7th. All topics were covered from St. John’s to the infamous fight at the Palace.

The interview also touched on Artest’s partying ways. It’s a good thing Tiger decided that there was sex in the champagne room otherwise more people would have noticed Charlie Weis crying in a bathtub full of mac and cheese. They’d also be making noise about Artest’s admission that he used to drink during halftime when he played for the Bulls.

“I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime,” Artest says in the interview, which hits newsstands this week. “I (kept it) in my locker. I’d just walk to the liquor store (near the stadium) and get it.”

Anyone who has been to the United Center knows there might as well be scalpers selling Hennessy and Courvoisier along with pints of Gordon’s Gin outside the arena. Artest probably cashed his paychecks at the same place he bought the hen-rock.

Artest admitted that he partied every day and night while playing for St. John’s. His drinking kept up when he reached the NBA.

“When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild. A lot of marijuana and alcohol—even before (that age). … I (still) party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night.”

Who knew being a single pimp father was the key to getting your party on? Shawn Kemp and Jason Caffey must have stories for days. They sure have kids for months. If there’s anyone that should be drinking every day, it’s a New Jersey Net. At least it’ll give him an excuse for sucking so much.

We didn’t even get to the part of the interview where he discusses how he still wants to fight Ben Wallace. Oh, he’s willing to get his suspension on again.

Ron Artest stopped by Manny Pacquiao’s sparing session the other day and offered up his thoughts on the upcoming Pacquiao/Cotto fight to the LA Times.

Shocker that Artest is a fan of fighting huh? I never would’ve thought that. He’s even gonna try to fit the fight into his busy work schedule.

Artest said he’ll try to attend the fight between a road game Friday at Denver and a Sunday night home game, and elaborated on why pro athletes follow the fight game.

Man, its a good thing his day job doesnt require a lot of, i dunno, rest or practice or anything and he can fit the boxing match in. That Ron Artest, he’s always got his priorities right. I wonder what his UFC plans are?