Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at
In the words of the New York Blues godfather, “Chelsea’s arrogance has slapped them in the chops again and [Chelsea Chief Executive Peter] Kenyon deserves it”. While most of us Americans were enjoying Labor Day BBQs, Chelsea was taking some major bukkake courtesy of Real Madrid and Manchester City.
The Robinho transfer saga finally ended with the Brazilian headed to the City of Manchester Stadium for £32.5million instead of Stamford Bridge. He said he wanted to go to Chelsea and was fighting for Real to let it happen. He even called a press conference in Madrid to reiterate his desire to move to to London.
Chelsea was so sure of the deal that they started selling Robinho shirts (see above) in their Megastore even before the deal was complete. As one might imagine, this infuriated Real who turned around and sold him to Man City.
You ask where the hell did Man City get the money considering owner and ex-Thai prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra’s money is tied up and he’s on the run. He’s no longer the owner and Man City is now richer than Nazis. The club was bought by the Abu Dhabi United Group for Development and Investment. The group will be represented on the board by Dr. Sulaiman Al Fahim who is only 30 years old. That’s right. 30 fucking years old. He’s ranked as the 16th most powerful Arab and has his own Apprentice show. In case you think Al Fahim is playing, Man City also bid on Dmitar Berbatov, David Villa and Mario Gomez today. Things just got a lot more interesting in the Premiership.
Thursday, August 7th, 2008 at
Cristiano Ronaldo thought he was big time. He thought he could do what Jaap Stam, David Beckham, Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooy couldn’t do. He thought he could make Sir Alex Ferguson bend to his will. Here come the pain, big time. He’s staying at Old Trafford this season.
‘Sir Alex Ferguson heard my reasons, I heard his and we have an agreement that the best for both parties would be if I stay. Therefore, I can confirm that next season I will play in Manchester United.
‘For a while, my desire was that Manchester would accept Real Madrid’s bid. To say the opposite would be cheating people and my own conscience.’
Translation: I wanted to leave. I tried to force a move. Fergie said, “Um…no.”
Fergie took the step of flying to Portugal to have a word with the wayward boy.
“I flew to Portugal some weeks ago and we cleared the air and he spoke to some of the players,” Ferguson told MUTV.
“The boy has been through a troubled time in terms of the approaches from Spain but once he knew my stance, he then settled down.
…”We can put this to bed now. It’s finished and the boy is a Manchester United player and that’s the most important thing.”
Whatever he said changed Ronaldo’s tone right quick.
“I was responsible for all this controversy,” [Ronaldo] added.
“I was the one who publicly expressed my desire to go to Real Madrid. I ended up being, even involuntarily, responsible for the poor relationship between the two clubs.”
That’s gangsta. Kunta Kinte should have realized that Fergie sells when he wants to sell and on his terms. Now he’s forced to service Fergie’s favorite boy on demand until the winter transfer window as an example to all others who would challenge the rule of Red Nose.
Friday, July 11th, 2008 at
The absurdity of the Cristiano Ronaldo saga has reached an all-time low. The constant back and forth between Manchester United and Real Madrid had been tiresome for some time and then FIFA president Sepp Blatter decided to stick his nose into the drama. He accused United of treating Ronaldo like Kunta Kinte. When Ronaldo was informed of Blatter’s comments, he had no problem agreeing with them.
‘I agree with what he said. It’s true. I agree with the president of FIFA. I know what I want and what I would like.
‘We have to see what happens.
‘What the president of FIFA said is correct. At the moment I don’t say anything more. ‘I don’t know whether or not there is slavery in football. I don’t say anything.’
Ronaldo shouldn’t complain. He’s definitely in the house considering he makes £120,000 a week. Talk to the players in the field like Wes Brown who only makes £50,000 a week. Who will give them free?
Teams are stupid enough to pay players absurd salaries and wonder why they become such spoiled prima donnas. Ronaldo is in the first year of a five-year contract and is trying to force his way out of Old Trafford.
Asked if he wished to go to Real Madrid, he said: ‘At the moment I can’t say any more. You know what I said and what I want.
‘At the moment we’re going to see what happens.’
The sad thing about it is that he might get his wish. As much as I would love to see the back of him, it would be wise of United to make an example of him and keep him at the club as long as possible even if it means letting him rot in the reserves. There has to be some loyalty considering the way the team protected him after his World Cup theatrics. There has to be some order considering he just signed a new contract. One has to wonder whether there’s any point to contracts in sports.
Thursday, May 29th, 2008 at
One would think the pressure would be off Manchester United assistant Carlos Queiroz after completing the double this season. In the words of an American resident idiot (the sign), “not so fast, my friends”.
Queiroz is losing his mind over the protracted battle with Real Madrid over the future of Cristiano Ronaldo.
“Cristiano Ronaldo will never be Spanish! As they will never take Olivenca again,” he told the Portuguese newspaper Jornal de Noticias, referring to the small town on the disputed border between the two countries. He also delved further into the historic rivalry, alluding to explorer Christopher Columbus – who both countries claim as their own – and the Spanish Philippine Dynasty, which ruled Portugal from 1580 until the bloodless revolution of 1640.
“They already did the same with Christopher Columbus, and it now seems they want to naturalise Cristiano Ronaldo,” the United No 2 added. “Have they already forgotten what we did to them in the past? We will never lose our patience.”
With Portugal preparing for Euro 2008, Queiroz knows the furore could not have come at a worse time. “It’s being done in a manner to distract the Portugal team, at the height of their preparations for the European Championships,” he said. “But I am convinced that despite pressure from the Spanish press he will not change his nationality.”
Sounds like someone could use a horse tranquilizer or a roofie-filled burger. Hopefully Queiroz’s words will start an Iberian conflict that will work as a cover so Portugal and Spain can annex Andorra like the Sudetenland. Mwhahaha! I love it when a plan comes together.
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008 at
1. The Spanish Football Federation have fined Samuel Eto’o for singing anti-Real Madrid songs yet they continue to let their national manager Luis Aragones be a racist as well as tolerate the racist abuse of players by football fans including the Ultras of Real Madrid.
2. Speaking of Real, the Ultra Surs are some of the worst racists in football. They not only slander African players but they also come down on South Americans as well. All you American supporters should take a look at what Abu Muqawama found in Iraq.
That’s a militia member currently fighting with the Americans. He’s wearing a Barca hat.
Abu Muqawama also picked up on the fact that the Iraqi kids being trained by al-Qaeda were wearing black Real Madrid away shirts.
That’s enough for us. Spain and Real Madrid are against you. Think about that the next time you cheer a Arjen Robben dive.