Don’t make this old man angry…you won’t like him when he’s angry!

Well that didn’t take long. What can be said about the one they call Pacman this time? At least he didn’t get into it at the strip club? I suppose that’s a start.

Pacman could be in some trouble unless the Cowboys cover up his latest altercation Michael Irvin-style. CBS11 in Dallas and Pro Football Talk report that Pacman was involved in a scrap at a Dallas hotel. The Dallas station calls the Tuesday night incident a “violent confrontation”. Allegedly it was between Pacman and a member of his security detail.

Sources say police were called after Jones argued with one of his own bodyguards. By the time police arrived he was headed back inside the hotel and patrons could clearly hear a fight going on in the bathroom.

That fight was allegedly between ‘Pacman’ Jones and a member of his security detail. Security inside the hotel allegedly pulled the two apart. At least one mirror was broken in the confrontation.

Sources say Jones went outside and left the hotel without paying his tab. He was reportedly with a woman who drove the two away from the scene.

Strangely enough, there was no police report. That’s how you circle the wagons, Dallas. It’s a time honored tradition in the Execution State. Anyway, Pacman’s going to do as Pacman does. If Shammgod can’t go to the mountain, the mountain will just have to come to Shammgod. You can’t keep Pacman away from beef forever. He’s gotta have it like Pookie.

Maybe the Bengals should sign Pacman’s bodyguard. He got to Pacman way more than Ocho Cinco.

UPDATE: The Bengals would probably have to give up too high a draft pick to get the bodyguard because he’s already down with America’s Team. PFT’s Mike Florio has a league source who says the bodyguard “was an off-duty police officer who has been hired by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to babysit Pacman”.

The source says that the problem started because the babysitter popped off to Jones’ female companion. Jones, who had been drinking, then started up with the guy, and it culminated in a scuffle.

Jones, we’re told, had marks on his face at practice on Wednesday.

This keeps getting better. Only if the source knew what the bodyguard said to Pacman’s lady friend. Maybe he told Pacman’s bitch that he still felt that she owed him some sex.

CBS11 TV via Pro Football Talk.

When Terrell Owens isn’t busy spreading God’s glory like herpes, he likes to take time out of his busy day to hate on possession receivers. Wayne Chrebet and Brian Finneran better watch out. They could be next after T.O. finishes with Keyshawn Johnson.

Tim McMahon of the Dallas Morning News has all kinds of goodness from Irving after yesterday’s game between the Cowboys and Bengals. T.O. claims that he’s the reason Johnson is on ESPN Sunday mornings instead of getting ready to play.

“He is the ultimate underachiever on that panel,” Owens told reporters in Dallas before reminding them that he’s the reason Johnson is no longer playing in the NFL. “Everybody is aware when I was brought to Dallas he was the one they let go to get me here.”

Johnson must not have been able to spread glory like T.O. In case anyone forgot, he reminded the press after today’s win over the Bengals.

“God used me today for his glory,” T.O. said in conclusion. “Reality is where glory resides. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

T.O. wasn’t the only receiver talking nonsense after today’s game. Mr. Ocho Cinco was busy backpedaling and throwing out blame for his crap performance. He said Pacman was “going to get it“on Sunday.

“I don’t have a choice. I don’t have a choice,” he said. “Somebody tell Pacman or Adam or whatever the hell he wants to be called — he is going to get it. Anthony Henry, he’s going to get it.”

Three receptions and 43 yards later, Ocho Cinco was backin’ that ass up like Juvenile. He claimed that he never intended to kiss the star because he had “too much respect for “Dallas, Mr. Jones and the organization”. He was just trying to pump himself up. He must have read Boys Will Be Boys between his original comments and today’s game. How could you not respect game like that?

Jay Cutler is all about tough love. He slammed WR Brandon Marshall after he cut himself “slipping on a McDonald’s bag”. However he’s not about to give up on his boy even though he’s probably going to serve a two to three game suspension for violating the NFL’s code of conduct.

Marshall plans on crashing at Cutler’s pad during his suspension and engage in some home schooling. He plans on studying the playbook and film in addition to working out with Cutler at night. Who knows if this will start him on the path to wholesome living but it’s worth a try.

T.O. is supposed to watch over Pacman in Dallas. Pacman should move in with T.O. and HBO should film it as a reality show or a sitcom. They could call it “TnA” or “That’s Pac!”. How great would that be? Screw watching players fall asleep in meetings or rookies getting cut. Imagine T.O. coming home to find Pacman installed a stripper pole and DJ booth in his house while he was at work. T.O. could open his door only to see some big booty hoes working the pole in his living room. Pac and Luther Campbell (uncensored so careful if you’re at work) would be making it rain and smoking cigars while “Hoochie Mama” (also uncensored) blasts in the background. Another episode could have a unreinstated, bored Pacman try to work T.O.’s alleged BangBros.com connnections so he can film his own porn on the star in Texas Stadium. Jason Garrett would have to be in this one as the assistant coach who plays the choir boy but really calls himself “Freak Nasty” and creeps out the porn stars with his fetish demands like being slapped in the balls with a donkey dildo wielded by a 300 lb Eskimo girl while having tartar sauce thrown and rubbed all over his face. Who’s got Pacman Fever now?

Americans like to think they’re the best at everything. We think we’re number one and everyone should just recognize and accept it. This is when reality kicks in. It’s a bitch sometimes. Europeans wipe their asses with our dollars and Australian athletes continue to run laps around Americans when it comes to drunken debauchery. We have our exceptions like our namesake, Lawrence Phillips and Eddie Griffin but they are few and far between.

Star rugby player Todd Carney is in deep shit…again. This time he’s in trouble for tearing up the club and pissing on a friend of teammate Dane Tilse during a post-match drinking marathon. He and teammate Bronx Goodwin, who assaulted two people outside the club, are in so much trouble that they may be cut by their team. They also could be prevented from joining another team by the NRL.

According to a witness at the hotel on Sunday night, Carney and Goodwin were “out of control” and “on the p… hard” before the incidents.

Tilse’s mate had come from interstate to watch the match, claimed the witness, who works at All Bar Nun. “The guy was in the toilet and Carney has just turned and [pissed] up and down his leg,” the witness said

Several other Raiders players attempted to calm the situation and apologise, but Carney and Goodwin – who allegedly harassed another patron – were removed by security from the pub about 10.30pm.

The pair apparently then went to the city centre where they attempted to gain access to Canberra Casino but were refused entry. “They were out of control,” the witness said.

Around midnight, the pair returned to the northern suburbs bar, which was closed, and were told the leave the area by security as people were waiting for taxis.

The witness said Goodwin then lashed out at another reveller who had nothing to do with the Raiders team – allegedly hitting him about five times in the face.

“The guy was hopping in the cab and he (Goodwin) smashed him. They were good hits, I felt sick in the guts, he copped a flogging,” he said. “Bronx smashed someone for no reason. Carney was being held back by a few of his sponsors.”

The sponsors were “feeding” Carney drinks and the two players became “too drunk”, the witness said. Neighbours said they heard “barking” in the street for about 20 minutes before the brawl occurred.

“It was like a real dog barking, but you could tell it was human,” a neighbour said. Carney was allegedly ejected from the same premises last weekend for “barking” at women, the witness said.

You hear that, Ray Lewis? Your bark is empty. Carney channels DMX because his bark is strong like drunken dingo.

The Daily Telegraph also notes that this incident is not the first time Carney’s gotten into it. Just last year he was involved in a police chase in Canberra. In 2006, he was arrested for drunk driving and had his license suspended for five years. Carney should come over here and try his luck in American football. He has much to offer the Bengals.