What is it with racing bosses and their obsession with Nazis? FIA head Max Mosley was videotaped in a Nazi themed orgy with five hookers last year. He was seen “giving orders in German as he [lashed] girls wearing mock death camp uniforms and [was] himself whipped until he bleeds”. Oh his dad happened to be Oswald Mosley, a fascist who was down with Adolf Hitler.

Enter F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone. Bernie, who’s good friends with Mosley, goosestepped in it when he praised Hitler as a leader who “got things done”. He also claimed that the dictator was “persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to or not”.

Ecclestone’s comments didn’t go over too well as one might imagine. When informed that the World Jewish Congress didn’t appreciate the Nazi love and wants him to resign, he manned up and doubled down.

‘It’s a pity [the World Jewish Congress] didn’t sort the banks out,’ he said. ‘ When asked to elaborate he countered: ‘ They have a lot of influence everywhere.’

Ist sie nicht wunderbar, Bernie. He finally issued an apology three days after his interview with the Times of London. Make of it what you will.

He insisted ‘things were taken a little bit wrong’ and his praise of the German tyrant was ‘not what he meant’ before adding: ‘Those who don’t know me think I support Hitler’s atrocities; those who do know me have told me how unwise I was to articulate my points so badly that it should have been so widely misunderstood.

‘During the 1930s Germany was facing an economic crisis but Hitler was able to rebuild the economy, building the autobahns and German industry.

‘That was all I meant when I referred to him getting things done.

‘I’m an admirer of good leadership, of politicians who stand by their convictions and tell the voters the truth.

The billionaire went on to praise Hitler again for turning a bankrupt country into a strong one and showing what someone can do if they “have the power and don’t have to keep back and referring every five minutes”. Bernie says compromise is for bitches. He then went on to say his boy Max Mosley would do a “super job” as prime minister. Yeesh. Who knew the Fourth Reich would start in auto racing?

Being a British secret agent? Priceless. Losing your job because your wife was one of the prostitutes involved in the Max Mosley nazi sex orgy? Nah, that’s priceless.

In an extraordinary turn of events yesterday, MI5 was forced to deny through Whitehall channels that the orgy had been a “sting” that it had set up to discredit Mosley. “Any suggestion that the service was involved in setting up Mosley is total nonsense,” a senior Whitehall official said.

The official did disclose, however, that one of MI5’s officers had left the agency after his wife’s involvement as a call girl in the orgy became known. “I cannot talk about individual cases, but we do expect high standards of behaviour from all staff at all times, both professionally and privately,” the official said.

The officer forced to resign was working in surveillance. How the hell do you miss seeing this? The MI5 officer’s wife Mistress Abi was the one that sold the story to the News of the World.

Mosley is the current head of F1 racing and was caught on tape engaging in an orgy with a Nazi theme. His father was a well known facsist in the 30s and 40s who witnessed Adolf Hitler’s wedding in addition to heading up a fascist party in Britain.

Straight cash homey.

They don’t call Claudio Pizarro the Andean Bomber for nothing. Allow the Deuce to congratulate the Chelsea striker on finally scoring. Too bad it wasn’t on the pitch or for Chelsea.

Pizarro, captain of the Peruvian national team, was busted for having an orgy with several of his teammates and some girls a few nights before getting destroyed 5-1 by Ecuador in a World Cup qualifier.

Pizarro and his teammates brought the women back to their hotel, donkey punched and drank all night. I can see it now. The scene looked like something from the Gin and Juice video except the players were wearing their soccer uniforms and spraying the women down with bottles of pisco. Pisco and sour, yeah I’m fucked up now. Laid back…

Fuck Christmas. This really is the most wonderful time of the year. NFL training camps open. The Premiership starts up again. Some athletes are in mid-season form and don’t need training camps or preseason matches. Allow the Deuce to introduce you to Gary O’Connor of newly-promoted Premiership side Birmingham City.

O’Connor decided to kick off the new season by having a drunken orgy with four hookers and three of his boys. He and a friend picked up the ladies of the evening up for £1,000 in a Birmingham massage parlor and took them back to their hotel across town where it was on like Donkey Kong. Incidentally, the hotel room was booked in the name of a Spurs player who talked shit about Birmingham players after turning his back on a transfer to the Blues this summer.

“…The orgy turned ugly when £2.7million-rated O’Connor—whose pregnant fiancée Lisa is expecting their second child—pulled one of the vice girls by the hair and swore at her after she had stripped off … The girls had intercourse and oral sex in the suite, on the bed and in the bathroom. Afterwards they returned to the club where they worked and complained to regulars about the way they were treated.”

Eyewitnesses at the massage parlor had O’Connor acting like a drunken douchebag before the incident.

“He was so drunk he started giving it large, bragging about how he was this top footballer. But I think I was the only bloke in the place who had recognised him.”

Orgies and roasting are so passé. How much longer until soccer players start making it rain? In the meantime, O’Connor would do best to remember these words. “My family mean everything to me and I will do all I can to make them happy. Family for me comes above all else.”

It shouldn’t be too hard to remember those words. He said them. Brilliant!