It seems like it was only yesterday that Michael Westbrook was making teammate Stephen Davis’ face into mashed potatoes. No clue whether he stuck his dick in them when he finished. Redskins owner Dan Snyder should consider signing Terdell Sands of the Oakland Raiders if he wants that same fight in his defense. He might want to get a recommendation from punter Shane Lechler.
Sands punched Lechler in the face during an argument on a team flight on November 23rd. No action was taken against Sands and the incident only seems to have come to light in the past couple days even though sources inside and outside of the organization confirmed the story. The San Francisco Examiner notes that the incident combined with the Raiders’ all-around suck make it unlikely that Lechler will sign a new deal with the team.
Tom Cable seems to have a handle on things in Raider Nation. The commitment to mediocrity will continue as scheduled.
“Dude, we can totally make a gravity bong with that helmet. Fuck yeah.”
Chimp doesn’t think Mike Florio’s latest find is on the same level as Stop Snitchin’ but I disagree. It’s hard to beat one liners like “The human torch, n***a! Flame on!” and “Step your smoke game up, bitch!” What will definitely be hard to beat is the smackdown that will probably come when the Raiders find out about running back Justin Fargas’ appearance in a video with copious amounts of ganja and uncouth language.
PFT reports on a video made by one Yukmouth who tries to bring the best out of tweed smokers by showing some tough love and encouraging them to step their smoke game up. Fargas makes a guest appearance although he doesn’t smoke. He does mumble some unintelligble garbage that would disappoint Papa Huggy Bear and Dolomite.
Here’s the video for your viewing pleasure. Be warned that there’s offensive language all the way through. Definitely NSFW or a convent due to language.
Mushmouth and Martellus Bennett feel you, sport. Fargas probably has nothing to worry about. He plays for the Raiders. Al Davis can’t remember what he had for breakfast this morning.
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009 at
How bad do you have to be if Al Davis doesn’t want your services? Maybe that means you’re good. Maybe it’s bad meaning good like Run DMC. That probably isn’t the case when it comes to Jim Fassel. Maybe he shouldn’t have used macaroni, construction paper and magic marker to write his letter to Davis.
You probably thought you heard the last of Bill Romanowski after the Broncos hired Josh McDaniels to be their new head coach. You thought wrong. He’s going to get a job with the organization whether they like it or not.
The former linebacker has been invited for a meet and greet with the new coach but he intends to leave with a job. Romo tried to get an interview for the head coach position but he wasn’t considered even though he came up with a 30 page Powerpoint presentation which we assume consisted of him drawing a bunch of angry stick figures beating each other on the computer screen with a Sharpie. Bronco smash!
Romo hopes to be placed in charge of the team’s health and well-being if he can’t join the coaching staff. If there’s one person who knows about physical and mental well-being, it’s him. If a player doesn’t take a shot in the ass, that’s a punch in the eye. Don’t finish your reps? That’s spit in the eye. The team might want to reconsider their invitation. They might want to watch him from their facilities once he finds out they gave the strength coach position to someone else.
“Well, he will cheat on you again. That’s a promise. And when he does, don’t come crying to me, because … I’ve had it with you. You’re so fucking weak!”
He’ll get all Single White Female on them. If you doubt that, check his comments about Raiders owner Al Davis.
Should [Al] Davis show an interest in his services, Romanowski would zip off another PowerPoint presentation, one that’s specifically designed for the Raiders
“He’s still sharp as a tack,” Romanowski said. “You’ve got to be on your game. He’s testing you when he’s talking to you.” Right now, Romanowski is focusing on his impending meeting with McDaniels, studying up on the former New England offensive coordinator turned head coach.
Sharp as a tack? Oh yeah, just like George Steinbrenner. Davis has made all the right decisions. Actually they would be a great duo. We take that back. He should go to Oakland immediately.
Shane Morales, Orgeon State’s “best possession receiver” (Palin shoutout to TO and Keyshawn), won’t be playing this weekend against Cal due to an injured hip. He injured the hip during a goalpost dunking contest.
Morales was not thrilled to be cornered by media. He said it wasn’t exactly a dunking “contest.” … “I think it was just me against the goalpost, and the goalpost won,” he said.
He said it was something he “does all the time.” Except the other times, he didn’t injure himself. “I didn’t think it was that bad (at first),” said Morales. “It just hurt.”
I remember when I was applying to schools. I called the University of Oregon with a question. The receptionist answered the phone and said, “University of Oregon. Quack, quack!” I hung up and crossed Orgeon off my list. Oh wait, Morales goes Oregon State. Never mind.
Morales sounds like someone Al Davis would want on his team. “Willing to go up against immovable objects? That’s moxy, Cable! See? Sounds like a player we should have, see. If he has a haircut I can set my watch to, let’s move up in the draft and get this Morales kid, Cable. That reminds me. Did I ever tell you about spending time with Francisco Franco? Now there’s a guy you could trust. Facists are men of their word, see. Not like that bastard Kiffin.”