Who would have thought the missing link would be in Arkansas? Fine, we’ve all thought that at some point in our lives. What you didn’t know is that there are several missing links. You have the one between man and ape. You have “Jammin” Joe LaRue who is the missing link between man and god. Then you have the missing link between man and ostrich. Bobby Petrino.

Petrino, head football coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks, gave his sob story to the media about being unaware of the fallout from his cowardly exit from the Atlanta Falcons job to take the Arkansas job.

Petrino said that he threw himself into the Arkansas job and was not aware of the media beating he was receiving.

“It was hard on my family. It was hard on my wife and my kids, but I didn’t hear a lot of it,” Petrino said. “That was probably good.”

For months Petrino declined to be interviewed except for the local media that covers Arkansas football. But when he arrived at the SEC meetings he agreed to meet with the media contingent that regularly covers the league.

Petrino was pressed on whether, in hindsight, he could have handled his departure from Atlanta differently.

“Not that I know of,” he said. “Because of the timing of it and both sides of the fence, that is kind of how it worked out. It was a situation where you have no other choice.”

Sometimes a weasel gotta be a weasel, playboy.

Alabama head coach Nick Saban was unavailable for comment as he’s locked away in his office trying to figure out other ways to get around NCAA recruiting guidelines.

If there was a reality show called Saban Idol in which college football coaches compete to be the ultimate scumbag, Rich Rodriguez would definitely make the national tour. He hasn’t even coached a single game at Michigan yet and he’s made enough enemies to fill up the Big House.

Lineman Justin Boren has decided to transfer to Ohio State from Michigan. He announced he was leaving Michigan a month ago due to “an erosion of family values”. Whatever the fuck that means. Was he looking for a strong stance on marriage within the coaching staff? Maybe Rodriguez & Co. didn’t show enough support for the Defense of Marriage Act.

Good thing Boren’s not from Michigan. He could never go home again. He’ll have to sit out a year and then walk-on as he cannot receive a scholarship from Ohio State.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, West Virginia has released documents showing that Rodriguez pursued the Michigan job without being approached. Documents obtained through discovery in the WVU lawsuit against Rodriguez show that his representatives contacted Michigan three days before he interviewed for the head coaching job.

Nick Saban just shed a tear and said, “That’s my boy.”

By now you’ve all read that Bobby Petrino has quit 13 games into his first season as an NFL coach to go become the head coach at Arkansas. This got me wondering, what other NFL coaches had quit in the middle of his first season as an NFL head coach…that list was small.

Since the AFL/NFL merger, only one coach quit in the middle of a season, Lou Holtz. Coincidentally, Lou went to go coach Arkansas after quitting just 13 games into his first season as a NFL head coach (for the Jets). Lou fared pretty well with the razorbacks, going 60-21-2 with 6 bowl games. After getting fired and going to Minnesota, then moving on to Notre Dame, well, people forgot that he was a quitter in the NFL.

So the question is, will that happen with Petrino?

Well, Petrino was a pretty good head coach at Louisville, but he has only been a head coach for 4 years at the collegiate level and about two thirds of a pro season. Holtz, on the other hand, coached 7 years in college at two schools before his job in the NFL, where he quit with just one game left. Edge goes to Holtz on this one, he was a pretty established coach already. Petrino just had one recruiting cycle to prove himself and he didn’t do anything in the pros to show he could coach on much more balanced playing field.

Coaching skills aside, the real reason Petrino will never be seen as anything more than a quitter is that he is really lacking is some personality. Holtz had (and still has) that in spades. Some people describe Petrino’s personality as “that of a doorknob“…that doesn’t bode well in the rewriting of his history. The media and fans will eat him faster than his former players did. Who wants to consider Petrino’s side of the story when no one can stand the guy? He might always be “a quitter”.

Bobby Petrino has pretty much shot himself in the foot. He will be adored only by Arkansas fans, but only if he wins. If he loses he will be castigated there like he currently is throughout the nation and it might very well end his career as a head coach. Nick Saban hasn’t recovered from his quitting the Dolphins one year removed from doing so and it will be awhile before people forget that. This looks to be way worse. If he doesn’t win in Arkansas, he is probably done.

(note, if my 5 seconds of research on this issue is wrong, do let me know!)

What do you think of when you think of Alabama coach Nick Saban? Honor? Integrity? Accountability? Yeah me too.

Alabama is investigating itself for potential violations of NCAA rules governing the distribution of free textbooks to athletes. “Student-athletes” are not supposed to receive more textbooks than are required for their coursework.

Alabama starting offensive linemen Antoine Caldwell and Marlon Davis, tailback Glen Coffee and defensive backs Marquis Johnson and Chris Rogers were suspended for Alabama’s 41-17 victory over Tennessee on Saturday. University officials said the suspensions involved impermissible receipt of textbooks.

Saban responded by saying that the players used “poor judgment”. However he didn’t stop there.

Head coach Nick Saban said Monday the players used “poor judgment,” but that the university’s textbook distribution system for athletes also failed the players.

“No one at the university wants me to say it, but it’s true,” Saban said in a speech to the Monday Morning Quarterback Club.

“We had some guys use poor judgment in how they did it,” Saban said. “Now, the NCAA might see it as an extra benefit. We saw it, we reported it. But the system failed the players, too. If we call a bad play and it doesn’t work, we’re responsible.”

Way to pass the buck, Saban. Those textbooks are as tempting as an Alabama sorority girl on her knees. If they keep giving, the players will keep taking. “Give it to me, mandingo! I hope my dad doesn’t find out!” It’s not fair of people to keep offering them cars, clothes, money, hoes and biochemistry textbooks.

The Alabama case is similar to a case involving Ball State which was placed on two years probation for the same violations.

In the Ball State case, the NCAA said last week the infractions involved 89 athletes in 10 sports from the spring semester of 2003 to the end of the 2004-05 school year. The athletes obtained $26,944 in books for classes in which they weren’t enrolled and, in some cases, got more than one copy of a book, which they gave to others, the NCAA said.

I guess we can’t blame Saban. It’s not like he knows anything about taking responsibility for one’s actions. Rubble rubble!

What’s that you say? Nick Saban lying? Nick Saban cheating? Nooo! Say no more. I can assure you that Coach Saban is an upstanding gentleman. He’s direct, honest and willing to fess up when wrong. What’s that about recruiting violations?

Alabama football players are the only ones getting summer workouts in before the beginning of the college football season. Head coach Nick Saban has decided to lead by example and work on his lying and cheating before the fall. Now that’s leadership! Alabama has “self-reported three secondary NCAA violations in football since Oct. 16, 2006, and is preparing a report on coach Nick Saban’s recent contact with recruits that might have broken the rules”.

Nice to see that he didn’t waste any time getting down to business and restoring pride and integrity back to Alabama football…

“Secondary violations occur in all sports,” said Chris King, associate athletic director for compliance. “The NCAA manual is so thick, they’re going to happen. These violations were all isolated and inadvertent. It shows that our compliance system is working.”

Teach those kids to take responsibility for their actions, Bama. Saban and the Tide will be a great fit. It looks like they finally have all the pieces to make a death penalty run. It hurts to come so close without getting it. Ask Kevin Dyson. That elephant’s trunk should be a mile long by the end of the season.