Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 at
The New York Daily News is in a stink over comments President Obama’s preacher made over the weekend about the Yankees. Rev. Luis Leon responded to the church drummer being a Yankees fan by calling the Yankees out.
With the Obamas sitting in the sixth row, Leon told congregants that “baseball season has started” and that the church’s drummer is a huge Yankees fan.
Leon then said he wanted to remind everybody that the Orioles have beaten the Yankees twice so far, and therefore, “The world lives in hope.”
“I’m a fairly charitable person,” the good reverend said, “but I have to tell you – I hate the Yankees.”
The Daily News notes that the parishoners laughed but it’s not known whether the Obamas did. The paper also commented that Obama can’t avoid trouble when it comes to church. It’s not clear what trouble he would be in if he did laugh. He owes no loyalty to the Yankees. He’s a White Sox fan. He also doesn’t want to be on the wrong side when his time comes. It’s best to just go with the preacher man and hate the Yankees. It’s probably wise to throw the Red Sox in there as well. Better safe than sorry.
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 at
Free O’s ticket on your birthday, hon. The offer’s no good if the Orioles are getting molested by the Yankees or Red Sox. The team doesn’t have a choice. Yankees and Red Sox fans will probably be sitting in your birthday seats talking shit if they’re not hanging over the bullpen area screaming at their relief pitchers. Baseball season in Charm City. I barely remember how Orioles Magic feels.
Friday, January 16th, 2009 at
Criminals should start thinking ahead. “If I get caught, I might want to consider getting decent representation.” Unfortunately for Joba Chamberlain impersonator Ryan Ward, he didn’t think ahead and now he’s screwed.
Ward was busted after trying to scam a bagel from a Jersey bagel shop by pointing at a picture of the Yankees pitcher and asking “Do you know who I am?” Now he’s facing a year in jail. He should be fine. He has the best representation Jersey has to offer.
“What’s the crime in pretending to be someone?” Bardis asked. “I’m Mel Gibson; want to have a drink? He just goofed around because he kind of looks like the guy.”
Ward then corrected his lawyer.
“He looks like me,” Ward said.
Ah the Lionel Hutz of New Jersey. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to prove to you not only that Ryan Ward is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not being guilty.” Bardis has a foolproof strategy to get him out of there. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won’t know what hit him. Ward will be free and clear in no time.
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 at
Who ya got? Daily News or the Post? It’s ragtime at the Deuce. Which one do you believe and which one of his ladies is on the rag?
The Daily News is reporting that A-Rod’s in danger of getting kicked to the curb because he’s not interested in becoming a super Jew. Skeletor’s pissed because he blew off an introductory Kabbalah class.
“This is certainly off-putting to Madonna,” said the source.
If he had any sense, he’d run before it was too late. However if you listen to the Post, the only thing he’s running away from are his kids.
Page Six reports (and we use the term lightly) that A-Rod is blowing off his kids to spend Thanksgiving with Skeletor and her horde. He’s hosting her and her kids at his place. When reached for comment, Travis Henry asked, “What the problem is?”. Needless to say, his ex Cynthia is pissed.
To be a fly on the wall when Madonna throws the turkey at him for not being Kabbalah-approved and calls him a soft-ass bitch while she’s railing him like a champ. It’s not good to cry in front of the kids. They’ll never respect him. Hopefully he’ll invite Menudo to the dinner as well. Wait until they get the roofie turkey.
I was going to write more but I’m already bored with this story. I can only imagine what all five readers are thinking.
Friday, October 31st, 2008 at
This isn’t news but we’re still amazed at A-Rod’s obsession with He-Man villains. Page Six reports that A-Rod and Lady Skeletor choppered off separately to the Hamptons to chill at Seinfeld’s house. What’s the deal with that? There’s no word on whether Michael Richards showed up to racially insult the Yankees third baseman. He’s not too far away from dating someone who actually looks like the Predator. I don’t know. Let’s say Bacary Sagna of Arsenal, Maria Shriver or Amy Winehouse.